“I might have fucked up.”
Gabriel’s blindfolded head snaps over to me. “Oh, fucking hell, it’s really concerning when you fuck up, Liam. You never fuck up. Oh no. Oh shit. Should we run?”
I hesitate. “You’re right. I don’t ever fuck up. Matthew’s the idiot here, not me.”
And then I confidently get out of the car and come around to his door. I pull it open and draw him out before sliding the blindfold off. I even toss in some hand motions in a “Wowee this isn’t too much, this is the right amount of much” way. I’m not quite sure it’s working.
Gabriel’s quiet for a moment as he takes it all in. “What… is… this?”
“This is what one would call a house.”
“I see that. It’s averybeautiful house.”
“You think so?” I ask, feeling like I’m at least on the right track.
“Uh… yeah, it’s gorgeous. And looksveryexpensive.”
“It’s in a very good location too. Like that bookstore you love is, oh… a quarter of a mile walk.”
“Oh wow. That is a good location.”
“See? You love it. Matthew is an idiot.”
Gabriel hesitates and looks over at me. “Explain this in simple terms so I can ultra understand. Whose house is this?”
“Youuuur… mine?Myhouse. Definitelymyhouse. I bought it for myself and definitely not for you. I bought it for me to live in, and I hired people who are going to build a catio on the side because I’ve always wanted to sit in one by myself to feel what it’d be like to be closer to Satan.”
“You… bought a new house?”
“I didn’t like my old one. It was haunted.”
“Haunted, huh?”
“Sure as fuck was. Terrified me. I lay awake every night as that ghost spooned me, and I felt ridiculously uncomfortable now that I’m in a relationship with you. I didn’t want you to get jealous.”
“Just so I’m understanding this. You… boughtmea house, realizedverylast minute that it was maybe a bit much, and are now playing it off like ghosts have driven you out of your home so you needed a new one?”
“That is correct,” I say. “But the real question is… does it turn you on?”
Gabriel laughs as he shakes his head. “Liam… I don’t even know what to say or do.”
“You say ‘I want to see inside your new unhaunted house.’”
“I sure do. This is really nice and fancy. And look at those windows. Is that a bay window?”
“It’s like a little nook for reading, and you can look out into the yard. There’s a state-of-the-art security system in place as well.”
“Yeah?”
“So even if I’m not here, you will always feel safe.”
“That would be nice.”
“Do you want to see inside or do you want to run home?”
“I mean… it’s rather cold out and I’m not much of a runner. And Lucille said she wants to check it out.”
“Of course she does. She can pick where she wants the catio.”
