“Maybe.”
“Will it harm me in any way if I stick my hand in this bag?”
“Maybe.”
Tavish sighs and sticks his hand into the bag with a whole lot more confidence than I would. The look Leland has on hisface would make me fear there’d be a mouse trap or something else inside. Tavish pushes the tissue paper out of the way before pulling out what looks like a little ceramic fence. It’s obvious that once upon a time there was somethingin frontof the fence, but Leland has taken it upon himself to break that off so all that’s left is the fence perched on a mound of grass.
“It’s beautiful,” Leland says, even if Tavish’s face doesn’t quite reflect that. “I’m even happier knowing that it will forever be ingrained in your mind as the first present you’ve ever gotten, which means that it’ll be your most memorable present.”
“Wow. That’s… I mean, something,” Tavish responds before showing me. “You see this, El? You see what I’ve been missing out on for years? Like once upon a time, I would think about the wonders of what I could have received for my birthday, and none of them even came close to this.”
I grin at him, though I can’t help but feel like Tavish is actually a little excited about it. It’s so ridiculous and goofy, but isn’t that Tavish? He might act like he’s at odds with Leland and bicker about him, but it kind of seems like that’s how they enjoy interacting with each other.
“It does look just like it,” I say. “I am curious what was originally in front of it.”
“Don’t worry about that,” Leland assures me. “Nothing important. The real important thing is the beauty of The Fence. I tried getting one for everyone in this room, but the lady at the store said it was the only one in stock. So Tavish, you better feel motherfucking special. I almost kept it for myself because I loved it so much.”
Tavish turns the weird figurine this way and that while giving it a skeptical look. “I’m feeling something, alright.”
“It can go right next to that gaudy vase you brought here,” Leland says.
“Are you saying the vase that Ellis risked his life to hold on to while jumping out of a plane isgaudy?” Tavish asks in disbelief.
“It’s his birthday,” Jackson reminds Leland.
He grimaces. “Oh. I forgot. Damn, that vase of yours is just… almost as nice as my fence but not quite. Are we all ready? Henry and Micah said they didn’t want to get picked up in the murder van and chose to meet us there,” Leland says. “I told them if they tried to run or flee at any time… they would deeply regret it.”
“You broke out the murder van again?” Cassel asks.
“Sure did. I even had the seats put back in it, so you have somewhere to sit instead of having to wallow around all tied up,” Leland assures us.
“Why’d you tie them up?” I ask curiously.
“Because they were thrashing and fighting far too much. It was a bit ridiculous how much they were struggling. Their cries and pleas just fueled the flames of my desire to kidnap them more often.”
I look over at Jeremy. “So you’re a police officer?”
“Uh-huh…”
“And you listen to this and think…?” I ask curiously.
“That Cassel really needs different friends,” Jeremy says.
Cassel scoffs. “We went out with a coworker of yours and his wife, and you nearly fell asleep while he was talking.”
“He never stopped,” Jeremy whispers. “The more he talked, the more my head just…ached.”
“You made me send him a fake alert that his house security system was going off, so he’d just go home,” Cassel says.
Jeremy looks in every direction but at Cassel, like he’s ashamed of his actions.
“Gasp! Jerebear, how heinous,” Leland says with a huge grin. “Why didn’t you call me up? I’d have made it so the security system going off wasn’t fake. I could have even hidden in his house and scared him for you.”
“I did that once,” Cassel comments. “Some chick was stalking me. I was doing this undercover thing for a bit, and she becameobsessedwith me. So I just let myself into her house one day and replaced all of her pictures with pictures I’d photoshopped of us together. Then one day later, I went back in and she had them all on the table, so I removed them all, and she never looked my way again. Easiest way to get someone to stop talking to you. I offered up the idea to Jeremy, but he lamely suggested that maybe we just don’t invite them out again.”
Clearly… these men should not be fucked with.
I raise my hand. I’m not sure why, but I feel like I’m interrupting something that maybe I shouldn’t without permission.
