“Ellis, if you want to drown someone, you have to hold them under a little longer than you’d think,” Cassel “helpfully” says.
Leland nods. “Definitely. Especially a man like that. Stubborn and irritating men are the hardest to drown. I think it’s because they don’t actually have much of a brain to suffocate, if you get me? If you need help, I’ll show you. We can practice on Tavish.”
“I thought you weren’t allowed to be mean to him on his birthday,” I say.
“Fuck,” Leland grumbles.
Tavish grins at this. “Ha ha! Leland, you must say, ‘Tavish is the badassest motherfucker you’ve ever seen.’”
Leland stares at Tavish before just going, “So who wants some cake? I invited Micah and Henry, but they said they’d be up for something later.”
“Who’s Micah?” I ask curiously.
“Just assume anyone who knows them is weird and concerning,” Waylon says. “I kind of regret being here.”
“Waylon, why?” Leland asks. “We want Tavish to see how much better my child is than his.”
“I have a child?” Tavish asks. “I really think I’ve been sticking it in the wrong place for that to have happened.”
“Ew,” Waylon cries. “Why can’t any of you be normal? I’m so glad I’m going to my friend’s house. He actually asked me if he could come over and I said ‘NO!’ so fast I think he now believes there’s something super sketchy going on at my house.”
Leland gasps. “Oh my god, you had a chance to invite your little friends over and you didn’t bring them over? I want to meet your friends.”
“No, that’s okay,” he assures Leland.
“I’ve never wanted anything more in my life,” Leland says.
“Not The Fence?” Waylon asks.
“Fuck. Wait… I forgot I’m not supposed to cuss in front of you. Fudge. There, that’s better.”
“You really don’t think I heard plenty of cussing while off making drugs?” he asks. “My teacher wanted to know why I’m so good at chemistry and I just told her I had one of those fun science kits growing up. I didn’t mention that the kit was originally to make meth. So yeah, I think you can say fuck.”
I just stare at the teenager,positiveI’ve missed something here. Was Leland and Jackson’s child off making drugs?
“Don’t tell your friends you know how to make drugs,” Jackson orders.
“I know that much,” Waylon says.
“Don’t do drugs. Do I have to show you what happens when you do drugs? Because I will,” Leland threatens.
Waylon sighs. “I’m not doing drugs! I never did drugs. I know what happens.”
“If you have to do something illegal, I’m more than happy to get you into shivving people,” Leland assures him.
“I don’t want to shiv anyone.”
“Shooting highly illegal assault rifles, then,” he decides on.
“I’m so glad my friends are normal,” Waylon comments.
Leland scrutinizes him for a moment before grabbing him in a headlock. “If youeverfeel like you need to do something like that, you better fucking call me, you hear me? I will never judge you, but you better bet your ass I’m going to keep you on the right path. And I will fuck upanyonewho tries to get you off it.”
Waylon grumbles but he doesn’t fight off Leland. “I know. I won’t.”
“Good,” he says before ruffling his hair and turning to us. “Tavish, go get changed. You smell like the swamp you fell into.”
“I… fell into a very nice pool.”
