I’m just tired. I don’t know what to do or say, but what I do know is that I trust Tavish… I think. I mean, yeah, maybe I’m a gullible man, maybe our meet-cute was him slamming myhead into a dumpster, and maybe I’m letting this idea that he’s handsome and nice get the better of me, but I don’t think he’s a bad guy.
“I just… really don’t think you should be dating,” Dad ends with, and I almost choke, having forgotten all about that in the mere minutes that have passed since it was tossed out there. It’s almost a bit awkward to now go, “Just kidding.”
“I know we’re having a blast talking about who to trust and when and how and all that jazz, but we’re being followed,” Tavish says.
Dad’s head snaps back to look before he guns it, flying right through a red light that nearly gets us killed as a car lays on its horn. My heart is beating out of my chest as I realize how close we’d just gotten to being killed.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” Dad chants.
Tavish is also so shocked he seems to be at a momentary loss for words. Then he says, “What the fuck are you doing? You’ve made it quite clear that you know they’re following! Why would you give yourself away like that? You’re pretty bad at this, you know?”
Dad is in a panic. “I can’t let them catch me. I can’t let them!”
“Head out of the city before you kill someone by driving so erratically!” Tavish pulls his gun out as he starts rolling down the window.
“What are you doing?” Dad cries as he rolls up the window. The issue is that Tavish has half of his body out of it—the opposite half this time.
“I was going to fucking shoot them! Roll down the window! You’re trying to suffocate me! What the hell!”
He’s flailing now, his upper body outside the window that he can’t draw back in. Dad is panic driving and I’m wondering why I even got out of bed today.
“Ellis, I know that you’re cute enough that you don’t have to do anything, but it’d be really nice if you rolled down the window to free me,” Tavish pleads.
“You think I’m cute?” I ask.
“That’s what you got out of all of this?” Tavish asks.
“I don’t know! I also got that I’m probably going to die. And so being told I’m cute made me feel a little better! I’m freaking out inside,” I admit as I reach for the window button, but his body’s in the way. “Spread your legs. I can’t reach it.” Then I hear an odd ping. “Did… DID WE JUST GET SHOT AT?”
“My god, why are you two panicking so much?” Tavish asks as he decides that if he’s in this position anyway, he might as well start shooting.
I just ram my hand between his legs as I try to find the button for the window.
“Why are you groping me? Not in front of your father, Ellis. At least wait until we get home!”
“I’m not groping you! I can’t find the damn button!” I cry as I smack the whole door panel before I find the button for the window and roll it down. Then Tavish slips back in, but since my hand is still on the window button, arm deep between his legs, he ends up sitting on me.
“Sorry, didn’t mean to smash you with my giant balls,” Tavish says. “Here, take my phone and call Leland.”
Ah, backup. Yes. Right. Perfect. More people will definitely fix this situation.
With the phone unlocked, I type in Leland’s name and realize it now says “Leland the Weasel,” but I’m rolling with it. I hit the speaker in case Tavish needs to say something of value to him.
“Hellllloooo, Tavish the Temperamental. This is Leland the Lavish.”
“What? No. It’s Ellis. There are people and they have guns and we’re going to die.”
“In the meeting room?” he asks, rightfully confused.
“NO! I saw my dad and chased him, and now we’re in a car and there are people shooting at me?—”
Tavish interrupts me. “Tell him I dropped my machete! Tell him to grab my machete!”
“I think we have bigger things to worry about than a machete!”
“Did you say… car chase?” Leland whispers.
“He motherfucking did,” Tavish says.
