“I’m listenin’,” he mutters as I look down to see that he’s more focused on the sand dick he’s in the process of building. “It’s a penis!”
I stare at the man and wonder how he’s made it to this age without being murdered. “Why?”
“You want some boobs? I can make you some boobs if you’re a boob man.”
“That’s not the issue.”
“It isn’t? You sure?” he asks as he starts giving the dick boobs, as though that’s what I’d wanted.
I’m really going to die here, aren’t I? Is there even anything I can do to get myself out of this bullshit?
I sink down right in the sand.
“You worshiping the sand dick now or something?”
I sink down onto my side as I realize that I can’t do this. I can’t do any of this. How the hell did I really expect I was going to get my ass off this island? I’m not some action movie hero. Isuck at life. I’m the kind of guy who feels like going to the bar to meet people sounds like a lot of work and a lot of socializing. And now… now I’ve shot some guy’s finger off and am going to die right here.
“How’s that pity party of one going?” Tavish asks as he balances his vase between the boobs.
“Phenomenally.”
He leans back and stares at me. “You’re just going to give up?”
“No, I’m just… thinking about how nothing I do is going to save any of us.”
“You really think that?”
“Kind of,” I mutter.
Tavish laughs and starts shaping the breasts with more vigor. “We might die here; I’m not going to lie to you. If you’re already positive you’re going to die, then that’s your answer. But if you put your mind to it, you’ll be surprised what you can accomplish.”
“I’m not made for this type of stuff.”
“Not many people wake up one day and go, ‘You know what? I want to start hunting people down and putting my life at risk while doing it.’ Nah, we all end up getting in this situation one way or another. But what divides those of us who make it and those of us who don’t is that we kept fighting. When life turned to shit around us, we stood up and we faced it. So are you going to face it or give up?”
“All I can face right now is your giant penis and boobs,” I mumble.
“Eh, it’s a start,” he says as he snatches up his vase. “Let’s go. I mean, you can stay here if you want, but I’m heading out.”
“No, no, I’m coming,” I respond, refusing to be left behind.
Pushing myself to my feet, I hurry after him.
He heads back for the trees to give us some cover, and we start walking.
“Were you dragged into this life?” I ask.
“Kind of,” he says and leaves it at that, so I don’t push more. Maybe he doesn’t want to tell me too much so when I go to the police, I have less on everyone.
“Do you know how far we are off the mainland?”
“I do not. I… probably should have paid better attention instead of playing games with you, but I didn’t expect someone to fuck me over. I guess I’ve gotten lax lately.”
“Like… is that so surprising?”
He shrugs. “Who would fuck over the Great Tavish? Wouldn’t they know I’d fuck them over in return?”
This man clearly has no confidence issues.