I make my way through the house and into my room. Not that the job I had before took up a lot of my time, but it suddenly feels like the days are longer. There’s nothing to fill them with. No late mornings with Tobias, no texting, no calls. No stupid meetings.
“I just wanted to say I’m proud of you for what you did.”
“Excuse me?” I blurt out, stopping halfway to my bed.
“We aren’t the same kind of people, Theo, but you’re still my brother. And even if I act like that means nothing, it does mean something.”
“Okay…”
“This shit with Mom and Dad isn’t easy, I know that. They are… difficult, and so not with the times. I wish I had the balls to do what you did.”
“What are you trying to say, Preston?” I ask carefully.
He barks out a laugh. “Oh, no. I’m not saying I’m gay. I love pussy, there’s no mistaking that.” I roll my eyes. “But sometimes, I wish they’d be a little easier, you know?”
I let out a sigh. “Yeah, I know.”
“I’ll try talking to Dad, okay? I don’t know that he’ll ever give you the company, but—”
“I don’t want it.”
“Seriously?” he whispers.
“I never wanted that company. I want nothing to do with it.”
“I don’t know if that’ll make things better or worse,” he mutters, chuckling.
Knowing our father, me not wanting the company is going to make me look weak. Which is probably what he thinks about me already anyway.
“I just want to live my life and be happy, Preston. What they have to offer, isn’t it.”
“I get that, bro.”
“Does Michael feel the same as you?”
“Hard to tell. I haven’t talked to him, and he’s a man of few words, so…”
It could go either way with him. He’s a lot like Dad on the outside, but on the inside, I think he’s more like me but won’t say anything. Preston is the loudmouth of the bunch, but I guess as the middle child, you have to be.
“Just stay in touch, okay? I’ll work on Dad,” Preston says.
“Thanks for calling, Preston. Seriously, it means a lot.”
“No problem,” he says with a smile in his voice. “And you know, I wouldn’t hate meeting this guy that you ruined your life over.”
A laugh falls out of me. “What makes you think there’s a guy?”
“No way in fuck you blew up your life for yourself. That’s not you.”
He’s right about that. Had I never met Tobias, things would still be the same. I’d be a few months out frommarrying Marianne, and my family would be happy while I’d be questioning everything.
I spend the evening browsing for apartments and houses, different jobs—in case this one doesn’t end up working—and even napping here and there. I put on a scary movie, but ten minutes in, I have to shut it off because I’m a big baby when Tobias isn’t here. Hell, I’m a baby when he is here, but at least I have him to protect me.
It hits ten and I assume he’s home, so I send him another text for the night, hoping it’ll help him sleep better.
Thinking of you. Sleep well.
I don’t expect a response, so when I get one, I’m shocked.
