This is the right choice.
I’m doing this for him.
Chapter Forty-Eight
Tobias
I’ve never minded Valentine’s Day dates. It was just another day at work. Though, the people who chose me for that day stuck with me. I felt like maybe they were a little sadder than the people I get on other days. Most of them had lost someone and miss being taken out on the day of love, and so they hire me for dinner, as a reminder of what it was like. Not ready to move on, but okay with dipping their toes in.
This year, I’m the sad one, but I don’t let that deter me from my duties. I get dressed in a maroon and black suit, make sure my hair is good, put on some cologne, then wait for my ride. The restaurant will be packed, but I’m prepared to deal with it.
I keep reminding myself I’m going on this date for them, not for me. Tonight isn’t about me and how sad I am that I’m once again single on the day of love. Something that never bothered me before but is making me feel more lonely than ever this year. Theo and I didn’t talk about doing anything onthis day, but now that it’s here, I’m really feeling him being gone.
It’s been six weeks since I last saw him, since I heard his voice, kissed him, touched him. It’s fucking torture. How much longer is this going to last?
I woke up this morning, wanting to text him. Desperate to hear him. But also to shake him silly and ask what his problem is and why he hasn’t reached out. How did he forget me so soon? I want to be angry at him for everything he did, and I am, but I’m also… way too understanding.
From the get-go, I knew getting into a relationship was a bad idea. Not just because of me, but because of him and all he was dealing with. But I couldn’t help myself. Every time I was with him, I didn’t want to leave. I wanted more. I still want more, despite his transgressions. I just want him.
I’m mad at him for lying to me, but I can’t fully blame him for that. He was scared. Terrified. I should have known better. No, that doesn’t make his lying okay, or the cheating, but… I don’t know. I just fucking miss him, and I hate that I miss him when he obviously doesn’t miss me.
I think back to how long it took me to get over Brandon, but I can't come up with an answer. When I finally got the balls to leave Brandon, I was already over it. I was done with him while we were still together. So that isn’t helpful. When I left, I was relieved. Now? I feel like I’m going to miss Theo forever. It feels like I'm never going to get over this.
My car shows right on time, and I get to the restaurant a few minutes before the scheduled time. As I walk inside, I wonder about my date, Donald. If he gives me some sad story about his husband or wife dying, I may not make it through the night. I can’t handle sad stuff today. Maybe I shouldn’t have worked today, but I’m here now, so there’s no turning back. All I can do is hope this goes smoothly.
“Good evening, sir. Can I help you?” the host asks with a bright smile. He’s a young man with dark blond hair.
“Evening, I’m here to meet with a Mr. Wren.”
He smiles, then browses through his tablet.
“Mr. Wren has already been seated. I can take you to him.” He puts his tablet down. “Please, follow me.”
The host leads me through the crowded restaurant. It’s the same place I met Theo at for the first time, and I hate that it’s all I can think of. We pass the table that we sat at, and my eyes linger on it and the couple seated there. Seems like forever and not that long ago all at the same time.
“Here you are,” the host says just a moment later.
Great. We’re right near it. Just what I need—another reminder of Theo.
I smile at the host, then take my seat. When I set eyes on my date, I almost fall off the chair.
“Please don’t leave,” Theo says, his eyes pleading.
I’m so caught off guard, my mouth drops open and I can’t form words. Though, that doesn’t last for long. The moment the anger sets in, I find my words just fine.
“What are you doing here?” I hiss, leaning forward to keep my voice down.
“I needed to talk to you.”
“And you do it by lying to me? Haven’t you done that enough?” I growl.
How dare he?
When he doesn’t answer, I add, “I did not think you would stoop so low, Theo.”
He was pissed at Brandon for doing this, mad about him tricking me into a date, yet here he is doing the same thing!
“Tobias, please. Just listen to me.”