Page 22 of Her Alien Spy
“That’s part of the job,” he finally said, and she nodded, taking another bite.
They ate in silence for a bit, and her gaze returned to the book she was reading. She read the same sentence at least three times before Andethor cleared his throat. She looked up at him.
“I don’t know what’s going on here,” he said. “Help me out a little, Jules.”
She set her fork down. “It… honestly it isn’t anything you did. It just brought back some things from my past, seeing you change so quickly, so easily. You didn’t do anything you need to worryabout. This is my own baggage. I’m happy we were able to get him,” she said, meeting his gaze.
He was watching her, and his gaze was the Andethor she knew. Or thought she knew. That was the thing, wasn’t it? How could she even know what he was really like?
“Can you tell me about it?” he asked. “We’ve been friends for a while. I want to make sure I’m doing everything I can to make you feel comfortable around me again.”
Her heart did a weird little stutter step, and she took a breath, trying to think past it. “That’s… I mean. It’s kind of what you do, right? Learn about people and use what you learn to get what you want?” she asked quietly.
His gaze sharpened, and for a second, she felt bad for saying it. But she’d always been straightforward with him. Changing that now would be foolish.
“Professionally, yes. That’s a big part of what I do. I don’t do that in my personal life, though.”
“How can you be sure?”
He set his fork down. “What do you mean?”
“It all seemed to come so naturally. Switching from my friend, Andethor the musician, to sleazy Savis Eletath, to this… cold, hard spy. I know Savis isn’t really you. But how much of what I’ve seen of you is an act?” she asked quietly.
“Jules.”
“I know. I know I’m making too big a deal of this…”
“Hey. You aren’t,” he said gently, and she met his gaze again. “When I’m with you, when I’m with my band, when I’m with Xarek and Maggie… that’s me. That’s pretty much the only time I get to turn the rest of it off.”
She looked at him, and a wry smile curved his mouth.
“And that’s exactly what I’d say if I was trying to pull something over on you, if everything was an act,” he said quietly. “But it’s still the truth.”
She nodded, pushing her plate away.
“Someone hurt you to make you this suspicious. It makes me want to hunt them down and let my fists have a nice long talk with them,” he said in a low voice, and she couldn’t help but chuckle.
“I was engaged for a while,” she said after a few moments. “It was… I was happy, you know? Taking care of our house, planning the ceremony. I hadn’t retired yet, but I’d taken more of a civilian-facing role. And he seemed just as happy. Affectionate, warm, caring.” She shook her head.
“What happened?” he asked quietly, his food forgotten as his dark gaze stayed fixed on her face.
She took a deep breath, then shrugged. “It was all a lie. All of it. He had a wife and kids on a neighboring planet, which I only found out about when there was a report about him on the newsfeeds. He’d won some big interplanetary contract to build housing. And he was surrounded by his loving family as he accepted,” she finished quietly. She looked up to see Andethor’s jaw tighten. “I had no idea,” she continued after a moment. “Afterward, after I’d confronted him and kicked him out, I don’t even know how long I spent trying to remember if there were signs. There must have been, right? A man’s hiding a whole other life, there have to be hints. But I couldn’t find any. Yeah, he traveled a lot, but he’s a businessman with projects all overthe galaxy.” She took a deep breath. “It just reminded me of that all over again. And that is not your fault. It’s just… it’s what it is.”
He was quiet, and she could tell he was thinking it through. “I’m sorry you went through that. That guy is complete garbage,” he said, leaning back in his chair. “Now I want to punch him even more.”
She nodded and took a sip of her drink.
“What you saw… what I do… I’d never pretend in my personal life. I have to do it enough in my professional life.”
“You were pretending most of the time we’ve known each other,” she said, shaking her head. “Playing at being nothing more than a musician traveling from gig to gig.”
“I don’t think even I can fake how much I love music. None of that was an act. That’s life, and then there’s my job. And unfortunately my job isn’t one I can talk about openly.”
She looked at him. “All of that makes sense. This is a me thing, and I understand why you couldn’t just tell me.”
“It still brought up some bad feelings, though,” he said quietly, and she shifted under his gaze. “Which means that, if I want tosee where this goes with you, and I very much do, I need to give you every reason to trust me and no reasons to doubt that I am who I say I am.”
She shook her head. “That’s not the kind of thing I expect you to do. That’s a lot to expect of anyone, and even more of you, when I know now that you can’t just say everything you might want to.”
