Cue gasping and looking at each other as though we are shocked to our cores.
‘Libby and Amber, please come and stand with me. As you know, tonight each of you must steal a man.’
We get up and I daren’t look back at Mimi, who is whispering furiously with Binky and Kassy about how sly we are in not telling them. We turn to face the remaining islanders. To be honest, I can barely be bothered. I’m only interested in one man on this whole continent, and he’s forbidden fruit.
My thoughts drift to Cam and I can’t help wondering where he is. Is he watching me right now? Is he hidden somewhere in the villa or is he back at the production village listening to the crew bonking away? My heart flutters when I think of how, if I wasn’t in here, I could be hiding in his trailer, or we could be in a holding villa. He would be chaperoning me and showing me the delights that Mexico has to offer while I lap it up eager to learn. I snap out of it.
I shouldn’t be here.
It’s just crossing my mind to announce that I’m withdrawing from the show, when Destiny barks at us, ‘LADIES! Choose a man to steal. Who is your secret lover?’
Amber leaps straight in. ‘I choose this man because he seems very sensitive and gives me a good vibe. He caught my eye from the start, and I’d like to get to know him more. I choose Giovanni.’
Giovanni looks pleasantly shocked. He gives me a look that is almost an apology. As though I would have picked him.
‘I’m sorry you’ve missed out, Libby. Better luck next time,’ he says cockily as he takes his place next to Amber. He gives her a cheeky wink.
Now they all think I fancy him. It’s so childish. I will make my shock announcement.
Destiny booms, ‘Ooh burn! Well, that’s Libby told. Libby, how are you going to get revenge on Giovanni? He clearly thinks you still have the hots for him. Who are you going to steal to make him jealous?’
Everyone is looking at me. ‘Erm, the thing is. I’m not sure I want to choose anyone because I think I’d like to leave the…’
‘You can only choose one! CHOOSE NOW! WHO IS IT?’ Destiny has a wild look about her and because I have a penchant for knee-jerk reactions around authority figures, I swiftly look across all of the islanders.
Mimi is looking desperately at me not to steal Carlton.
Carlton is almost begging me with his eyes to steal him, steal him real good. But if I go there, the can of worms will be horrendous.
I look at Henri and he smiles shyly back. ‘Henri,’ I blurt without thinking. ‘I choose Henri.’
‘Why?’ says Destiny sounding annoyed. ‘You forgot to tell us why first, and then the drum roll off-camera and the long stareinto the middle distance and then the reveal.’ She is speaking to me like I am in Year Three. She is trying to teacher-talk at me.
‘Because he is French,’ I say defiantly. ‘And he is a great singer.’
‘CUT!’ says Porscha, stomping towards us. ‘Do it again from the top. Libby, for Christ sakes, try and get it right this time, or we’ll be up all night filming. It’s not hard. Two reasons, stare into space and then reveal. Okay?’
She swaps catty looks with Destiny. This is so embarrassing. It’s not even as if I have won the sympathy of my fellow islanders, because Kassy is looking as though I have just announced that I will also be taking her kidneys as well as her man. Binky is clinging to her Aussie hunk and Mimi is stroking Carlton’s stubble and mouthing ‘thank you’ to me. Carlton has not taken his angry gaze off me since the announcement. I am in so much trouble now.
Amber gives me an understanding look, as Destiny takes her place to reshoot the scene. We do the big reveal and Henri looks suitably delighted when I choose him. I sigh in relief that it is all over.
‘Islanders. We have two new couples. Libby and Henri, Amber and Giovanni. You will join Carlton and Mimi on a throuples dinner date.’
We all cheer and act excited, whooping and oohing.
‘I’ve always wanted to be in a throuple,’ yells Giovanni, causing us to laugh politely.
Destiny smiles broadly at us before swivelling around to face the others sitting by the firepit. ‘Binky, Kassy, Brad and Marcel…’ Destiny powers down as she stares blankly into space. We wait for her to jolt back into action. She looks from one to the other. ‘You are all now dumped from the island. Please pack your bags.’
What?
The silence that follows is sickening. None of us can believe it. We look at one another in confusion. This has got to be a joke. They can’t do that to people. It’s too cruel.
Binky bursts into noisy sobs as Kassy throws her arms around her. I run over to offer comfort, but Kassy looks up, her eyes full of furious tears.
‘THIS IS BULLSHIT!’ she screams. ‘TOTAL BULLSHIT.’ She looks around at our shocked faces before screwing her eyes at me. ‘YOU!’ she points. ‘HOW CAN YOU STEAL MY MAN WHEN YOU AREN’T EVEN INTERESTED IN HIM?’
She has the attention of every single person. You can hear a pin drop.
