The sudden crunch of gravel alerts us to my car arriving. The driver beeps the horn ruining the moment. Then the driver knocks on the door and walks straight in, ruining it even further.
Cam greets him like the professional he is while I am aghast at having to leave yet again without so much as a peck on the cheek.
We follow the driver to the car and Cam puts my near-empty bag in the boot.
Cam takes one look at me and waits for the driver to get back behind the wheel and close his door. ‘Don’t worry,’ he says quietly. ‘I’ve got your back. Whenever you need help in there, just say the word and I’ll meet you in the blind spot. Okay?’
He shifts uneasily in front of me. ‘There’s erm, just one thing that I need to ask you before you leave.’
He takes out his phone and scrolls down to headshots of five muscle-mountains. ‘Which three do you fancy the most?’
I must look horrified because he starts to laugh. ‘You gotta pick three I’m afraid.’
‘Absolutely not.’
‘We’ll be asking you to pick your top three favourite guys every single morning so you may as well get used to it.’
I slide onto the back seat. ‘Remember. Do not let Porscha edit me to look like the slutty British villain.’
‘I’ll try my best. Wait,’ he shouts as I close the door. ‘At least tell me who’s your favourite out of the five guys.’
‘I’ve already picked my favourite, and he’s not on the list,’ I say, closing the door behind me.
Chapter 15
After spending a sleepless night at another villa, I wake to find that it has been turned into a hair and make-up studio with racks of clothes on wheels. People have been in and out all day, and now, after much waiting around, I stand staring at my reflection in the mirror.
‘And you’re sure this is the whole outfit? There isn’t… you know… a bit more? It feels rather… small.’
‘It’s literally the smallest, mini micro, G-string monokini we’ve ever seen. But Porscha insisted,’ says a wardrobe runner, giving me an apologetic look. I glance at the adorable floral-print shift dress she is wearing. It’s the height of sophistication.
‘Well, do you have a nice wrap I could put over it? Or a nice coat? I don’t care about the sweltering heat.’ I’m trying to keep calm. Porscha has instructed wardrobe to give me a bizarre, flesh-coloured, cross-shaped bikini made of dental floss. It is barely visible to the naked eye. I’m struggling to see it myself and I’m only a foot away from it. ‘Please don’t leave me like this. There must be a mesh cover I can put over this… this…’ I flap myhand around, pulling at the thin rope of material that runs in a straight line from my nether regions to a collar round my neck. There’s a slightly wider piece running across my chest, that just about covers my nipples. ‘… this outfit.’
‘You have a great figure though, so at least you can carry it off.’
That doesn’t really help. Not when in an hour’s time I will be walking down a catwalk into the Love on the Island villa as the first ever bombshell of the series. All eyes will be on me. The introvert. The girl who has never had a successful relationship. The girl who turns invisible the moment she steps through the school gates. The girl who has been hiding her true self away for the last three years. The girl who now is hiding NOTHING, not even a camel toe. I yank at the monokini. This is ridiculous. Things could not get any worse.
Oh, wait. They can.
‘What are those?’ I point to a mountain of leather dog leads in the runner’s arms. ‘I’m not wearing a dog lead. No way.’
This is too extreme. I won’t stand for it.
‘They are actually made from dog leads,’ she says beginning to chuckle.
‘Are you walking lots of dogs?’ I’m confused. I didn’t see a single pet in the production village while I was there.
She holds the bundle of straps up. ‘These are your sandals.’
‘Sandals? For my feet?’
‘Yes. They’re thigh-high gladiator sandals.’
Fuck me.
‘As if it isn’t bad enough that my make-up has melted right off my face, and I’m wearing what is essentially a thin piece of rope tying my neck to my vulva. You’re going to make me wear stripper footwear for my big entrance?’
I don’t believe this. If only Porscha hadn’t walked in on us, then I’d still be with Cam hanging out in perfect isolation at thevilla. And we would have kissed by now. That heart-meltingly life-changing kiss that I have been cruelly denied.
