OMG.
I’m suddenly desperate to show off. ‘Okay, you can help me work out a plan to get this business back on track.’
He seems glad of the distraction and asks what sort of plan. I get out the Wheel of Life diagram and show him.
‘This is very similar to how I unpick complex issues. The eBay hostile take-over attempt, cryptocurrency destabilisation,’ he says, sitting down next to me at my desk. I ignore the fluttering taking place inside me and try to concentrate on what he’s saying. ‘In fact, I could have used this for a cross-governmental contract I worked on recently, to finalise a deal over fishing rights off the coast of Iceland.’
Oh my.He sounds incredibly intellectual and competent. Too intellectual andtoocompetent, if anything.
‘Once we’ve sorted your issues out, I’d like you to walk me through this to sort out mine. It’s time I set up my own company.’
I take a second to digest what he is saying. He is asking me to help him using my life coaching skills. He is after me to administer someproperlife coaching. He smirks and directs my attention back to the diagram. ‘Look, your finances and bookings are a mess. You have unexpected clients walking in. You're missing online payments. No wonder you seem swamped. Every day is spent fire-fighting. You are so busy workinginthe business, you have left yourself no time to workonthe business.’
He has hit the nail on the head there.
‘But,’ he says. ‘it was rather dumped on you last minute, so how are you supposed to know how everything runs? Credit to you for managing to get this far.’
I feel enormously uplifted by this but he’s swiftly moved on to ask if I can show him the accounts, ledgers, tax returns and balance sheets.
Oh Christ.
‘Do you know,’ says Oliver, breaking my thoughts. ‘It would be much easier to sort this all out if we could train Maria-José-Inmaculada-Carmen up properly.’
I admire his optimism. I do.
He proceeds to tell me that at least we’d be able to show her how to manage the finances and cash, cheques and online payments, receipts and petty cash, overheads, rental agreements, liability insurance, Spanish autonimo tax payments so that I won’t have to.
‘That will free you up to concentrate on the coaching,’ he explains. ‘And if you delegate the marketing and PR to Ava then she could organise the events. I’ll draw up roles and responsinbilities so that there’s accountability. It’ll prevent any mix-ups.’
God, he’s bossy.And sexy.
Even though I know this second chance is merely an opportunity for Maria-José-Inmaculada-Carmen to find new and inventive ways not to do any actual work and for me to keep complaining, I’m determined to give it a go.
I ring Ava to let her know everything is okay and that Oliver is on board.
Surprisingly, she takes the news with gusto. ‘Nell,’ she says patronisingly. ‘Tell Oliver I’m also a guru in spiritualisationology. I can teach clients the basics of magnetism and how to draw the universal energy towards…’
‘Fine. Whatever,’ I say, desperate for Ava to shut up. ‘We can discuss it later at home. I’ve told MJ to meet us early tomorrow morning for a staff meeting about roles and responsibilities.’
‘You seem to be handling your sister rather well,’ Oliver tells me when I click off the call.
‘I found out a few things. Turns out I jumped to a few wrong conclusions.’
That is surely the understatement of the year. I brace for a barrage of questions.
‘Yep. I’ve been there and done that a few times. Glad you seem to have it sorted. Was it the crystals that helped or the sage?’
I’m so relieved he’s going to let it go, I feel slightly lightheaded. I have a smile as wide as my face.
We lock eyes and suddenly, instead of getting to grips with the ledgers, we find ourselves snogging on my couch and rolling around lustfully on the floor.
‘I’ve been dying to try this ever since I saw you doing it the other day.’
Cheeky fecker.
My skirt is right up to my waist, his hands roam all over me and we are panting like excited puppies. His eyes have glazed over with lust, and he is saying my name with a desirous groan.
In an inexplicable moment of clarity, I break free and pull my skirt back down. I tell him that we should not get carried away as, technically, he is my coachee, and as much as I’d like to, I cannot continue to snog him until he is satisfied that we have achieved his goals. He is looking at me like I have gone crazy.
