Chapter 34
There's a gentle knock at the door. ‘Go away!’ I yell, watching as the door handle turns slowly.
Oliver pops his head around the door. ‘Just give me two minutes to explain,’ he says softly. ‘There’s been no stalking. None whatsoever. I would never.’
We stare at each other for a few seconds before he closes the door gently behind him and walks towards me. ‘I swear, I only put two and two together when you kept going on about the code of conduct that night in Benidorm. Not before.’
I look over to the door wondering if Ava and Maria-José-Inmaculada-Carmen will be running to my rescue.
‘The others have gone,’ he tells me. ‘They’re not speaking to me, apparently. I’m so sorry you got caught up in the redundancies. I really am. It’s an unfortunate part of any transformation and not personal. It’s purely business. Redundancy is awful. It’s the one part of the job that I hate but without it, most companies would go under, and everyone would lose.’
‘Where have you been?’
‘Madrid. Sorting out my severance package. Signing disclosures and agreements, and not signing legal documents that stop me from setting up my own company. That’s why I couldn’t reply to you. They took my phone to wipe the contacts. I’ve been locked in negotiations non-stop.’
Sounds very heavy but I totally believe him. He’s always had kind, honest eyes. And they’re looking at me right now.
‘Are you okay?’ I ask him. ‘Do you want to talk about it?’
After all, I’m qualified now and almost know what I’m doing.
He smiles for the first time.
‘I can help you sort out your wankers,’ I say, feeling suddenly thrilled that I can help him. As a peer. As a bona fide, high-calibre professional. ‘It’s my speciality. Dealing with pricks in the workplace and the bedroom… I mean boardroom. I love dealing with wankers in the boardroom.’
I’ve ruined it.
‘I’d value your input,’ he says, his face breaking into a huge grin. ‘Now that we've cleared the misunderstanding up.’
Something doesn’t quite add up for me though.
‘All this time, you thought I was talking about your ICF? Didn’t moral codes of conduct seem a little out of context? A little bizarre?’ I say. ‘Didn’t I sound completely ridiculous?’
He refrains from answering.
Ah.How humiliating. I guess everything he’s seen me do and say so far, has been bizarre.
‘Let me help,’ he says. ‘It’s the least I can do after I made you redundant and then ghosted you by accident.’
He thinks I’m worried about the redundancy.
‘I’m not bothered about the redundancy now,’ I tell him. It’s the truth. ‘I’m actually where I want to be for a change. Iwantto do this job. You don’t need to feel guilty. If anyone should feel guilty then it’s me. I’ve behaved like a colossal bellend since the day I met you.’
‘Have you?’ Oliver says. ‘I hadn’t noticed.’
He has a dry sense of humour with almost perfect comic timing. It’s a very lovable quality.
‘I’d still like to help. I help businesses for a living.’
Now he thinks I’m worried about being incompetent.
‘You can’t help. The ICF… theotherICF will revoke my licence after this, so there’s literally no point.’
I won’t tell him I’ve only had it for less than a day. Or that it is still in the envelope it came in. Or the irony that I’ve been put out of work by two separate ICFs.
‘What licence?’ he asks, sounding all confused.
‘My Life Coaching licence.’
