Oh, here we feckin go. I can see Maria-José-Inmaculada-Carmen being drawn in. Impressed by the way Ava is flicking her hair and gazing into the middle distance.
Ava puts her hand on her heart. ‘… I became a fully qualified shamen which is basically the same thing as a life coach, isn’t it? What’s that quick qualify website called again?’
That’s it. That’s quite enough. I knew this would happen.
I close my office door. I don’t want to go back out there with those two in cahoots. I need to sort out this singles event mess. I’ll quickly check on Ryan to see what he thinks of veganism and then do something calming. I haven’t stroked my crystals for a good while. Yes, I’ll do that. I’ll pick the big green one to soothe and heal. No, I’ll go pink and energise. It’s so hard to choose as they are all powerful tools when it comes to transforming my energy fields, according to Nidi and Endless Cloud, at any rate. I grab one of Nidi’s crystals and rub it furiously.
The only problem with stroking crystals is that it can be bloody boring. Still, it has taken up twenty minutes. I press my ear to the door to see if my sister is still there. I can hear some faint giggling through the door. Very unprofessional. I think I’ll tell them both to pipe down. I swing open the door swiftly to catch them in the act, but I’m stopped in my tracks. I witness my sister on the phone talking to what sounds like a prospective client while my vacant assistant looks, for all intents and purposes, like she is finally filing away that mountain of papers and confidential client information into proper files.
I best look as if I needed to check something, so I walk over to the desk and peer at the appointment book. I casually turn the page. Ava looks up as she is talking and gives me a thumbs-up sign.
I should probably thank her for loaning me her shoes and jacket and making me look nice for Oliver. And for working reception. Maria-José-Inmaculada-Carmen is bloody hard work. I’m secretly impressed that my sister got her to put down theHola!magazine for a start, never mind keep her off the phone to her mother. Maybe I should treat Ava to lunch as a sign of my maturity and stoic nature. And as a tiny step towards tolerating her company. I give her a half smile and she returns it with a mega-watt beam of shiny, white, bleached teeth and sparkly hopeful eyes. Bit much but yes, it feels like the right thing to do. We need to clear the air between us and it’s going to take me to be the bigger person. Plus, I’m starving. I will use my last twenty-euro note to get a menu del dia between us.
She puts the phone down and chirpily calls to me, ‘Me and MJ are going to grab some lunch, if you fancy joining us?’
I stop abruptly. Prickles of alarm stabbing every inch of my skin.
MJ?
Lunch?
Me join THEM? There’s a THEM?I swivel back around to glare at her. One fecking morning and she has already stolen away my assistant. She probably stole that client she was speaking to and booked them in to see herself. After all, she’ll probably think she’s qualified now, having spent an hour working reception. I feel a familiar knot tighten in my stomach.
‘MJ?’ I query.
‘Maria-José-Inmaculada-Carmen, MJ,’ she smiles innocently back. Then here comes the dagger. ‘That’s what all her friends call her. You didn’t know that?’
She has friends?
I glare over at Maria-José-Inmaculada-Carmen, who is tactfully buried deep into a pile of papers, acting like she cannot hear one word of this conversation, but her bright red cheeks are giving her away. A wave of self-pity engulfs me. For two weeks, I have suffered near pulmonary failure with each conversation, just getting to the end of her bloody name.
‘Of course, I knew,’ I say tightly, flicking Maria-José-Inmaculada-Carmen a hard glare, as I force a smile out of my rigid face. ‘And no thank you to lunch. I’m very, very busy.’
‘Are you sure because… ohmygodohmygodohmygod!’ Ava yells, excitedly waving her phone at Maria-José-Inmaculada-Carmen, ‘He just liked my Live Your Best Life post!’
I see Maria-José-Inmaculada-Carmen’s eyes light up.
‘Who?’ I say tightly, hoping she isn’t going to say Dan.
‘Ryan!’ Ava beams.
I can’t look. The thought of it would make me sick to my stomach. ‘Which one?’ I can barely keep it together.
Say Gosling. Say Gosling.
‘Reynolds, of course,’ Ava says, sighing happily. ‘He’s so amazing.’
Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
I have loved him for over ten years, and she has only loved him since this morning. Besides, Gosling is still a perfectly respectable but-not-quite-so-good Ryan. Why can’t she pester that one? Why does she have to muscle in on mine? I try hard to keep the fury from my face as I pull the jacket off my back and the shoes roughly from my feet, gathering them all up and pushing them back into my sister’s arms.
‘Enjoy yourselves,’ I manage as I close the door behind me.
Once back inside the safety of my office, I flop down on my sofa. Nothing ever works out for me. I still haven’t booked the venue for the singles business event slash business singles event or whatever the fuck it is. The only thing I do know is what itisn’t. It isn’t a coach trip. I haven’t thought about the food or drinks or games to play or how to run it. I haven’t a clue where to start with the invites but since I mentioned it on the radio, I’m going to have to make it happen somehow, because we’ve had a flood of enquiries. And on top of that, I have no fecking friends.
A text pings into my phone.
It reads ‘I can’t stop thinking about you’.
