‘No,’ I say, embarrassed at being caught out. ‘That will be all, for now.’
Now, I sound like the one in court.
Oliver plays along. ‘Thank you, Your Honour. Let the case for the defendant rest.’ He flicks his gaze to the food and bottles lying around on the floor. ‘We’re partners in crime now. Which reminds me, I better get rid of the evidence.’
‘Shame to let it all go to waste,’ I say through a mouthful of croissant. ‘All I got this morning was another stick and half an apple.’
‘Why don’t you take it?’ Oliver suggests. ‘In case you get hungry later. After you’ve enjoyed your stick.’ He starts grinning. It lights up his entire face. A giggle escapes from his lips. ‘Sorry. I’m sure there’s a perfectly good reason they are feeding you twigs.’
His laughter is infectious and before I know it, I am chuckling along. ‘They must have taken one look at me and asked themselves the only question that matters. Which stress buster package would suit a girl who carries within her the potential to suck out joy from everyone and everything around her?’
Oliver is nodding. ‘How do we stop her reaching into your soul like a Nosferatu, leaving you an undead husk of a being, resentful of all around you and seething with anger? Perhaps they’re expecting you to combust into flames during one of the rituals.’
He’s taking it a bit far now, but at least I get to see his eyes sparkle and his hair shine in the glow of the lamp. We stifle our giggles when we hear a noise that sounds like footsteps outside in the hallway. Oliver is ramming a whole pain aux raisin in his mouth, indicating we need to get a move on.
‘We’ll be late for the Healing Waters. They’re taking us to Algar Falls today.’
I scamper off the bed and over to the door. I open it a fraction and peep out to make sure the coast is clear. Oliver comes up behind me with an armful of cheese, crisps and a full wine bottle.
‘To stop you breaking and entering,’ he says. Thoughts of his extreme nakedness flood my mind causing me to become immediately flustered.
He hands me the wine. ‘Maybe I’ll break into your room this time.’
Oh my.
I take the stash from him and sneak back into my room.
If I thought Oliver was hot this morning, then that’s nothing compared to the show he is putting on at the waterfall. After we have piled out of the camper van, Oliver joins his Happy Bunnies in a cooling dip. I am forced to watch from afar as my group engage in no one’s favourite activity of drawing symbols on pieces of stone and ‘gifting’ them back to the water.
‘These symbols are your burdens,’ Gandalf is telling us. ‘They represent the heavy rocks we place in our hearts. Be free of them. Let them go.’ He makes a huge show of picking up a rock, chalking on a scribble that looks like a shoe and dunking it in the water with a splash.
‘Was that a shoe?’ I ask.
He nods and stares down to his Jesus-sandled toes. He wiggles them for us. ‘Now they are free.’
Nonsense. Utter nonsense.
Once we have finished, we are told that our reward is to float face-up in the ice-cold waters of the fall for at least an hour.Oh goody. Can’t wait.Everyone begins to strip off and I notice that they are wearing appropriately modest bathing suits, whereas I am wearing a flimsy, neon-pink ‘over here, look at me’ string bikini that I stole from my sister. As I self-consciously peel away my robe under the unbearable heat of the midday sun, I can feel Oliver’s gaze on me, even though when I look over, he seems to be making a huge effort to look in the opposite direction. I gingerly step into the water. It is instantly soothing and exhilarating at the same time. I gasp at the icy temperature and plunge straight in. Oliver swims up to me.
‘You’ll feel great after a few minutes,’ he promises. He’s referring to our hangovers and he’s not wrong. As I lie back and allow the water to freeze my brain, I can feel the blood gush to my head, sweeping it clean. The sound of the waterfall lulls me into a trance. I’m aware of Oliver floating beside me and try my best not to look at him. Each time I so much as lift my head from the water to see where he is, Gandalf and Endless Cloud fix me a questioning look.
When the billion years of floating is up and I can no longer feel my body, a dinging chime indicates that it is time to get out. I stand up, waist high in the fresh mountain pool and squeeze the water from my long plait. I catch Oliver staring at me. He instantly looks away and places his hands on two rocks, expertly hauling himself out of the water in one fluid movement. The droplets of water run over his rippling muscles, highlighting how well-defined his back is. They drip slowly down his spine, dispersing at the line of his shorts, which are clinging to him like a second skin, revealing a fine outline of perfectly shaped…
‘ELLY-NELLY-NOR! This way please.’ Endless Cloud is watching me like a hawk, beckoning me to the opposite side of the waterfall.
I climb out and dry off with one of the rags that Endless Cloud is handing out to my group. A quick glance over to the Happy Bunnies reveals that they are being handed fluffy white towels.
Oliver gives me a sheepish look.
‘Let’s go!’ Endless Cloud waves to my group. ‘Follow me. We heff lunch, standing on one leg.’
Jesus Christ.
As I stuff the wet rag into my bag, a loud barking distracts me. It is coming from behind a clump of rocks. It’s not just any type of barking, it’s a distressed sound. If my gap year at the animal rescue centre taught me anything, it was to recognise pain in other creatures. I take a step towards where the sound is coming from.
‘Hurry please,’ Endless Cloud is yelling.
As a group, we summon up the bare modicum of enthusiasm, don our robes and follow him along the narrow ledge, away from the waterfall. The barking becomes more distressed and a sixth sense flows through me. I turn back towards the rocks and hurry to see what the poor creature is worried about. Maybe it is injured.
