Ivan pressed his fingers to his forehead after all, hard enough to hurt. “I may lose half my men tomorrow, either to defection or…otherwise, and I need to make sure things can run smoothly in the meantime. Until they can all be adequately replaced.”
Still, he shut his laptop, conceding that he may have reached the limit on what he could prepare ahead of time.
Nix rolled onto his stomach and propped himself up onto his elbows, his legs swinging in the air behind him as he watched Ivan. “How many men will be there tomorrow?”
“Thirty, give or take a few. I have five main lieutenants below Sergei in my operations. Jace you’ve already met, plus four others, and they’re each bringing their most trusted soldiers.” Ivanstretched his neck from side to side, wincing at the ache. “There are more men in the organization, but they’re grunts, easy to replace at the drop of a hat. They don’t need to be there.”
Nix nodded absently, fingers tracing the abstract design on Ivan’s rug. “Can I ask you something without you biting my head off?”
“Probably not.”
Nix grinned at him cheekily, clearly not taking the threat seriously. And he was obviously correct not to, what with Ivan’s weakness toward him.
If any other bastard had pulled off the major fuckup of that chaos demon being summoned, they’d be dead to Ivan, most likely literally. And yet the only chastisement Ivan had been able to summon for Nix at this point had been a scowl and about five minutes of a surly mood.
Even now, it took everything in Ivan not to shudder at the memory of that creature standing in front of him in Cooper’s apartment. The brutal violence he’d been able to feel roiling under the surface, only waiting for an excuse to come out.
He was deadly, that one. And Ivan’s only hope to harness any of that power was for Cooper to talk him into aiding him at the meeting tomorrow.
Assuming the chaos demon didn’t decide to set Ivan on fire instead.
“In the shows and movies, mob bosses are always surrounded by men,” Nix said, bringing Ivan’s attention back to him. “At the very least a few key players. And yet you’re always alone, except for when Oleg drives you.”
“Ah.” Ivan leaned his head against the back of his chair, staring up at the ceiling. “It used to be more like that here. The way it was with my father. But then Alexei left, and I…lost my temper, you could say.” Ivan ignored Nix’s wry chuckle at his phrasing. “And then with Sergei’s betrayal….” Ivan shrugged. “I’ve keptthe men at a distance. The whole business is probably fucked at this point.”
It was his first time admitting that out loud. That maybe he’d damaged things beyond repair. That maybe Sergei had been right to doubt his leadership.
“Well, we’ll fix that,” Nix said easily. “I’m great with people.”
“Because you’re staying.” Ivan refused to phrase it as a question.
“Yes, I’m staying,” Nix answered anyway. He rose from the floor, gliding over and hopping onto Ivan’s desk, bracketing Ivan with his legs. “So tell me why the thought of that makes you grumpy. You should be delighted to have me. I’m delightful.”
Ivan was too tired to hedge his words. “Kai told me you’d want to stay no matter what.” He arched a brow. “He told me you’re using me.”
Nix scoffed. “AndItold you both things can be true—wanting to be here and wanting you.”
Ivan scowled at him, something bitter churning in his gut. “And that pisses me off.”
“You don’t like when my desires conflict with yours, and now you don’t like that they align?” Nix asked, making it clear how idiotic he found the concept. “I want to stay in the human realm, yes. I also want to stay with you.”
“You should want me more,” Ivan told him, aware that the demand made him sound like a child. “You should want memost.”
It might not have been logical or healthy or sane, but there it was. Ivan didn’t like to hear that Nix had other reasons besides himself to stay. It was that horrible, controlling, possessive part of him that needed Nix to covet him exactly as much as Ivan had grown to covet the demon.
Nix let out a frustrated breath, kicking gently at Ivan’s chair. “Do you want me to tell you if it was a choice of here without you or the Voidwithyou, I’d choose you? Fine. I would.” He narrowedhis eyes. “But then we’d both be miserable because the Void is boring as fuck and there’d be no one for you to boss around but me.”
Ivan snaked a hand around Nix’s ankle, tugging him to the edge of the desk. “And that’s all I would need.”
A flash of something crossed Nix’s face—some bit of true surprise, maybe. Despite his irritation, Ivan was almost pleased to have managed it. The demon was hard to shock.
Until Nix spoke.
“Vanya,” he asked, his voice a silken purr. “Do youloveme?”
It was Ivan’s turn to scoff. He didn’t know anything about love, except as a poison that weakened a person beyond repair. The very word made him want to tear something to shreds. “I need you,” he corrected. “Here. With me.”
That much he could admit.
