“Oh, I do, darling. But there’s vicious, and there’s…this.” Nix waved a hand to encompass all Ivan’s nonsense. “You don’t get to ice me out and then fuck your anger out on me.” He cocked his head, bouncing his foot. If they were talking things out all of a sudden… “Whyareyou so angry?” he asked.
“You know why.”
Right, right. Betrayal and messing with his plans and blah, blah, blah. That explained the source of Ivan’s annoyance but not the depth of it. Nix clucked his tongue. “Try again.”
Ivan stared at him for a long moment, and then it was like a dam burst, his frozen exterior cracking and real frustration breaking through for the first time since the apartment. He jerked a shaky hand through his hair. “I don’tknow. I just…get like this.”
Now they were getting somewhere, at least. Nix fought back a smile. He didn’t want Ivan to think he was teasing him. “When someone does something you don’t like?” he asked.
“When someone…undermines me.”
“Is that what I did?”
“Yes.”
“It wasn’t my intention.”
Ivan rubbed a hand over his eyes. “Intention doesn’t matter. End results matter. Disobedience is the first step to losing control. And loss of control means death.”
“Another lesson from Daddy Dearest?”
Ivan glared at him through his fingers. “Just because he was an asshole doesn’t mean he was always wrong.”
“As far as I’m concerned, it does.”
Of all the ridiculous lessons to teach someone. Had Ivan’s father wanted him to fail, or had he simply beenthatmisguided? And would it be wrong to find out where Ivan’s father was buried just to piss on the grave?
“I loosened the leash on Sascha for the first time, and look what happened—he’s married to a demon.”
“He seems happy enough with his choice to me.” Nix could see it—and feel it—well enough at dinner, even with the tension between Ivan and everyone else. Sascha had a way of gravitating toward Kai, and Kai toward him in return. The big warrior demon was clearly Sascha’s place of safety.
“Happy to be away from me, more like,” Ivan said bitterly. “He hated being under my control.” Pale-blue eyes met Nix’s. “Will you grow to resent me in the same way?”
“I can stand up for myself.”
When Ivan continued to stand there, frozen like a statue, Nix sighed, deciding to go the way of patience rather than petulance.
“You can never have perfect control over other people, Ivan,” he found himself explaining, as if he were the human and Ivan a demon new to this realm. “Even if you lead by fear. Even if you’re the scariest motherfucker in the entire universe and they know one misstep means their balls are getting chopped off. Do you know why?” he asked.
Ivan only stared.
“Because every individual has their own desires, and sometimes those will interfere with yours. You wanted the Book under your control. I wanted to give my friend a chance. Conflicting desires. Not betrayal. Not the end of the world.”
Ivan slumped back against the door. “Are you a therapist as well as a sex worker now?”
Nix huffed a breath. “If only. You could use about a decade’s worth.”
“If I can never have perfect control, then what’s the point of our little change of leadership tactics? Sounds like I’m fucked either way.”
Nix leaned back on his hands. “Generally, followers who are given respect give respect in turn. It’s more effective than fear. Butif you’re really so paranoid about the Mafia shit blowing up in your face, why not go legitimate? You can be rich and powerful without playing at gang wars.”
Ivan pinched at the bridge of his nose, as if Nix’s very sound reasoning was giving him a headache. “It doesn’t work like that. You don’t get to just…go legitimate.”
“Who says?” At Ivan’s face, Nix cackled meanly. “Of course. Your father.” He put as much disdain into the title as he could manage.
Ivan released his hold on his nose, glaring. “I don’t want to talk about this anymore.”
“Fine.”
