Page 54 of Johann
“In the drawer,” Jay said, unwilling to relinquish his hug.
Alexei pulled out the photo. He had to bend forward slightly to do so, but Jay kept his hold on the human, his body moving with him. The photo showed Vee, dressed in a beautiful, severe gown. And Jay by her side, his hair short and slicked to the sides, dressed in an equally severe suit.
Jay already knew every detail by heart, so he focused on Alexei’s face instead. His human looked surprisingly sad. Jay hadn’t expected that. “Your clothes…”
“Pretty dapper, huh?”
He could actually hear Alexei’s hard swallow. “I like how you dress now better.”
Warmth filled Jay’s chest at the unexpected compliment. “Me too.” He pressed a kiss to Alexei’s neck. “I don’t miss the clothes. Or the rules and restrictions. But I guess I miss belonging to someone. I know that’s bad to say. It’s just—I get lonely.”
Alexei set the photo down, then covered Jay’s hands on his chest with his. “You have me now, if you want.”
And Jay did, didn’t he? At least for now. And Jay had promised to stay. A promise he meant from the bottom of his heart.
A promise he maybe didn’t quite know how to keep.
But Jay didn’t want to think about the bad right now. He released his hold on Alexei and flopped onto his back on the bed. “Isn’t this the part where we cuddle? You said cuddling was part of sex.”
“You’re so right, sweetheart,” Alexei agreed, nice enough to not point out that they’d technically already been cuddling. “Scootch over.”
When Jay only scooted on inch, Alexei manhandled him until he was on his side, facing away from Alexei. And then, to Jay’s delight, Alexei latched ontohim—like a reverse of the position they’d just been in but lying down.
Spooning. That was what it was called.
They lay like that long enough that Jay thought his human must be drifting off. But then Alexei’s voice cut through the silence, surprisingly soft. “I get lonely too.”
“You do?” Jay asked.
“Not as much, now that I met you.” And wasn’t that the nicest thing to say? “I can be that person for you, Jay. Someone just for you. Let me be that person.”
Jay covered Alexei’s broad hands with his own.
He wanted that. More than anything.
“I won’t let him take me away from you,” Jay vowed. And he was doing it again. Making promises he didn’t know how to keep.
He listened carefully to the sounds of Alexei’s breath slowing and deepening. Jay hadn’t felt such conflicting emotions since…well, since Vee had died. He was on the one hand almost delirious with happiness at the thought that Alexei wanted him to stay, to be his person. But then on the other hand, there was the dread. The horrible dread. Because if Alexei got in Wolfe’s way—if he tried to fight for Jay—he’d lose in a heartbeat.
And Jay wanted to fight for himself, he really did, but he’d never been a fighter. Not once in his unnaturally long life.
And more than that, JayowedWolfe. He didn’t want to hurt his friend, even if his friend was being a massive jerk face at the moment.
So what was a vampire to do?
Jay clenched his teeth to stop the chattering as his body became racked once again with shivers.
It felt like his bones might shake out of his body with the force of it. Was that something that could happen? Probably not, he figured, knowing what he did of basic anatomy.
But he’d never gone this long without feeding before. Who could really say?
He figured eventually the shiversmuststop; maybe his blood would freeze in his veins, and he’d become some sort of little vampire popsicle.
Jay had never had a popsicle before. They always looked so refreshing on TV. But weren’t they really just big flavored ice cubes?
He was vaguely aware—underneath the fuzzy thoughts of popsicles—of a loud banging coming from somewhere, then some crashing noises, and finally a presence in the room with him. Jay should maybe be feeling alarmed right about now? The den members had probably come for him at last.
But his head felt too much like mush to really muster up the proper emotions. Maybe that was better. He wouldn’t give them the satisfaction of his fear. Just his shivers.
