Page 62 of Meet Me in Tahiti
But this wasn’t fair to her. His stomach twisted, heavy with guilt. He had to tell her. He forced himself to pull back, the warmth of her breath lingering against his cheek. His hands, which had been gripping her waist, felt suddenly cold and empty. He had to be fair. He had to do it—now.
He lifted his hands and cradled her face, then whispered. “I have to tell you something, Tessa.”
She studied him, blinking. “What is it?” she said, her eyes filling with concern.
Overhead, the wind whispered softly through the leaves of the banana trees.
He took a deep breath. “I don’t know when I’ll be coming back to the States. I might not be coming back at all.”
Startled, she pulled back slightly, and he felt his hands almost tremble. “What?”
He nodded, his throat thick with words that he didn’t want to say. “It’s why I’ve been so distant, so distracted. I didn’t get the job, Tess’. They filled the position already. I found out at the dinner show last night—just before it was over—and I didn’t want to upset you while you were still on this trip.” The words were like a runaway train he couldn’t slow down. “But I’m back at the starting gate. I’ll have to start applying again, and then it could be weeks, months, or who-knows-how-long before I even hear anything. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”
Her face fell as she gazed into his eyes. She shook her head, unwilling to accept it. “But… what we have is worth it. I want us to be together. I’ll wait for you.”
His brow pinched.
I want us to be together.Those were the words he’d wanted to hear from someone he cared about—for years.
And they crushed him.
But it wouldn’t work. “No, you won’t, Tessa,” he whispered, the soft breeze gently cooling the dampness on the back of his neck.
She blinked. “Yes… Yes, I will. I can wait,” she insisted.
He shook his head. “No,” he said more firmly.
Her voice sharpened, and her words came out desperately. “Why not?”
He drew a breath, forcing himself to say it. “Because after tomorrow, there won’t be an ‘us.’ I didn’t want to ruin the rest of your trip, so I was waiting to tell you, but the moment you step on that plane in Raiatea tomorrow night, things between us are done. They have to be. I’m sorry. It’s for the best.”
She gasped. “So, you’re just giving up on us?”
He looked down at their joined hands, his heart crushing like a thin glass pane hit by a golf club. “Look, I gambled on us, and I lost. And now, before anyone finds out what’s been going on between us, I’ve got to save what I have left—this job, and the jobs of my crew. Because if I lose those... I might not get another chance in this business. Anywhere.”
Her expression crumbled, and she reached up totouch his face. The gentleness of it shattered him all over again. “No,” she said.
He grabbed her hands, holding them tightly, tears welling in her eyes.
“Let’s just try to make it work long-distance…” she begged. “No one needs to know. No one needs to lose a job over this.”
He shook his head. Nearly six thousand miles between them with no end in sight was a death sentence for any relationship, as far as he was concerned. She’d see it, eventually. “I’ve been down this road before, Tess. Long distance—this far—doesn’t work. I can’t go through it again.” He couldn’t gamble everything again, only to have her lose interest in six months or a year—or however long it might be until he made it back to Florida.Ifhe even made it back. Who knew where his next job offer might come from? It wasn’t as easy as she seemed to think.
He released her hands slowly, painfully.
“I wasn’t going to tell you this until we reached the airport tomorrow—although I guess I failed at that, too—but once you get on that plane…” He swallowed hard, willing the words to come, despite the crushing feeling in his chest. “We’re through.”
Tessa’s heart shattered.Tears spilled over before she could stop them. She shook her head, wiping at her cheeks. “You could find another job next week, next month. I want to wait.” She had to makehim see. This didn’t have to be the end. No one had meant this much to her. Not Ethan. Not anyone she’d ever dated.Russwas her person. She wanted to see where things could go with them, if only he’d give them the chance.
He touched her arms gently. “Tessa, it’s for the best. I can’t ask you to do that. I won’t do that to you.”
“You’re not asking. I’m offering,” she insisted, her voice cracking in frustration through the tears. “We’ll make it work.”
He ran a hand softly through her hair, his fingers trailing down over her bare shoulder, the strap of her tank top, and then her arm, her skin warming to his touch. But he shook his head again. “No. I won’t do that to you,” he repeated patiently.
She saw the pain etched across his face, the tension in his jaw, the weight in his eyes. But this was silly. The words felt hollow, echoing in the dark night. It wasn’t a solution. It wasn’t the way things were supposed to go. Not tonight. Not tomorrow. Not ever.
She reached for him, her hand trembling, her fingertips brushing the fabric of his sleeve. She looked him in the eyes, her breath catching. “But Russ… I love you.”
