My mind flashes to Jamie, his small frame, and the weight of his trust in me. A pang of guilt cuts through me, sharp and relentless. What kind of life has he been dragged into?
“Jamie,” I say, the name a plea. “What does this mean for him? He’s just a kid.”
Solan’s gaze softens, but his expression remains serious. “It means he must be protected. Always.”
“Should I….” I hesitate, the thought forming even as I speak. “Should I try to find a way to send him home? Isn’t that the only way to keep him safe?”
Solan’s brows knit together, his hair flickering with unease. “Home… if it’s possible… it may be safer. But also….” He hesitates, his voice dropping. “It may not. There is no way to know if it is even… possibility.”
I don’t correct him, just wait for him to continue while recalling our much earlier conversation about the likelihood of returning home.
“No one person has made the rifts happen. It is all… fate,” he lands on.
The ambiguity of his answer does little to ease my growing dread. “That you know of. Right?”
He tilts his head. “That I know of.” He pauses. “You think it may not just be fate… the gods?”
I have no fucking clue. “Who knows?” I shrug my tense shoulders. “You didn’t know about all humans being bonded,so you…wecan’t be absolutely certain someone or something isn’t behind the merges.” A tendril of excitement… of hope unfurls in my chest. “A single entity or more than one could be orchestrating this whole thing. Shaking up the whole damn universe and its dimensions… for this very reason.”
“To pull together bonded pairs?” Solan asks slowly.
I shrug again. “I don’t know, but it’s a possibility, isn’t it?” At his nod, I say, “And if that’s the case, it means we can help Jamie. Protect him. Send him home.”
Holy shit. This could totally work. If I’m right, all we need to do is figure out the arsehole pulling the strings and get him to create a new rift wherever Jamie is. My half-formed smile cuts off abruptly when my gaze catches Solan’s. He looks…. Fuck. He’s devastated.
His red skin has lost its warm glow, looking almost ashen. Solan’s silence stretches between us, heavy and suffocating. His usually bright, fiery gaze is dim, the tendrils of his hair curling inwards as if in retreat. The sight of him—a creature so full of power and life—reduced to this haunted, vulnerable version of himself sends a pang of guilt straight through me.
“Solan…,” I start, but he cuts me off, his voice low and strained.
“You wish to leave.” The words aren’t a question but a quiet, gut-wrenching conclusion. “You do not want this bond.”
“What?” I blink, startled. “That’s not what I?—”
“Why would you?” he interrupts, stepping back from me. His movements are slow, deliberate, like he’s fighting to keep himself together. The inches feel monumental. Too far. The distance is jagged and gaping, slicing pain into my gut. “I am a monster. You have called me that. Perhaps you meant it as… jest or mistake. But it is truth, isn’t it?” He gestures to himself, his four-fingered hands and towering red frame. “This form. This fire. I am not… human. And you….” His voice wavers.“You would not want this for Jamie. You want him free, with a choice.”
My heart hammers in my chest knowing I’ve caused him so much harm, so much pain. I know better. Should have done better. What the fuck had I been thinking being so damn careless… so insensitive? I open my mouth to protest, to apologise, to try to fix this, but he barrels on, his voice thick with emotion. “The bond is not a cage, Jack. It is completion. It is life. It is finding the one being made for you. Jamie… he wouldwantthis when the time comes. To find his fated. To feel whole.”
His pain is palpable, cutting through me like a blade. I don’t miss the way his gaze flickers over me, cataloguing every difference, every reason he thinks I might reject him. The fingers, the flames, the tendrils of his hair that I’ve been mesmerised by. Things I’ve called monstrous, even in passing.
Fuck, what have I done?
The termmonsterburns in my mind now, the casual way I’ve used it feeling like a slap to both of us.
“Solan,” I say, stepping towards him, but he retreats further, shaking his head. My heart cracks open, shame seeping through the break as emotion crawls up my throat.
“You wish for Jamie to have a choice,” he says, his voice cracking. “And you resent that you did not. That this bond was… forced upon you.”
His words hang in the air, heavy and damning. Do I resent it? I should, shouldn’t I? But the truth is more complicated than that. My feelings are a tangled mess of logic and instinct, doubt and undeniable connection.
“I don’t know what I feel,” I admit, my voice raw. Tears sting my eyes. “It’s too soon. Too much. I’m trying to figure it out.”
Solan flinches, and the sight of it twists something deep in my chest.
He retreats further, the space feeling like an expanse impossible to cross over.
No. No fucking way.
“But,” I race to add, willing to bare my soul, expose my damn throat if necessary, drop to my knees and beg for him to believe me as I take another step forwards and say, “I know one thing for certain.”
