Finally, he turns his attention back to us. His expression shifts to something more serious, almost thoughtful. “You wonder… what has happened, yes? To your world?”
I let out a long breath. “Yeah, that would be nice. Any chance you could explain why it feels like we’ve been sucked into a sci-fi movie?”
“I do not know what sci-fi movie is, but I can tell you what has happened. Of course.” He straightens, adopting a stance I can only describe as “heroic.” His arms cross over his enormous chest, and he looks down at us as if preparing to deliver a speech worthy of an action movie climax.
He begins gravely, “The dimensions have torn apart and reformed. Worlds once separate now collide, merging, twisting. It is… a cosmic….” He waves a hand in the air as though shooing away some invisible cosmic dust. “How do you say…clusterfudge.”
“Clusterfudge,” I repeat, trying to keep up. “You mean… like a dimensional explosion?”
His already-bright eyes light up. “Yes! Boom! Explosion! Everything goes—” He claps his hands together loudly, making Jamie jump and my heart pound. “Your world, my world, this world, they have…blended. Just like inThe Terminatorwhen machines and humans?—”
“—are at war?” I finish, half-dazed by the randomness of his analogy.
“No, no,” he says, shaking his head. “When worlds are… entangled. Like when Arnold must stop the nuclear launch by?—”
“I don’t think that’s—” I start to correct him but quickly give up. “Okay, so… what does this mean for us? How do we get back home?”
The creature’s face falls slightly, and he shrugs his massive shoulders. “That… I do not know.”
I blink. “You don’t know?”
“No,” he says simply. “It happened before. Many time. I think first twenty-five cycles ago. Just a small sliver of different worlds joining with this one. But do not worry, it will happen again, and I will protect you. I am very skilled. Like Arnold inCommando.” He flexes his biceps, giving us what I can only assume is his attempt at a reassuring smile, complete with two glinting fangs. “You are safe with me.”
Before I can ask how exactly being in a Schwarzenegger movie is supposed to reassure me, Jamie speaks up. “What’s your name?”
The creature tilts his head as if confused by the question before answering in that same dramatic tone. “I am… Solan.” He says it like he’s revealing the secret identity of a superhero. “You may call me Solan.”
I exchange a glance with Jamie, both of us wide-eyed but trying not to let the absurdity of the situation crack us up. It’s either that or start rocking in a corner. “All right, Solan,” Isay slowly. “So, what now? We’re just stuck here until the next ‘boom’ happens?”
Solan nods. “Yes. For now, we survive. Like inKindergarten Cop, we must be prepared for anything.”
Jamie stifles a laugh, and I just sigh, rubbing the back of my neck. “Okay, I guess we’re along for the ride. At least we’ve got a bodyguard with big muscles.”
Solan’s chest swells with pride at the comment. “Yes! Bodyguard, protector… much like Arnold. I will ensure your safety, just like Arnold does for his daughter.” He gives Jamie a firm nod. “We are a team now.”
Jamie beams up at him. “Cool.”
“Cool,” Solan repeats with a grin, clearly delighted. “Now, we eat. I shall prepare food, just like inThe Last Stand.”
I exchange another glance with Jamie, and this time, I don’t even try to stop the unhinged laugh that bubbles up. I don’t even know where to begin with the movie references. Add in my inability to process what he’s saying about our worlds merging, and it’s likely my only course of action is to ask for hard liquor and a place to crash.
If not for Jamie at my side, I suspect it’s exactly what I’d be doing.
“Please. Sit.” Solan points to a boulder-like seat. It’s covered in some sort of material not dissimilar to reeds.
I urge Jamie over, grateful to sit my arse down before I collapse. My knees are still wobbly, and after the brief, weird description from Solan about what’s happened, I need every bit of support I can get.
I glance at Jamie. He’s tight to my side, eyes wide and head jerking in every direction as he takes the space in. Curiosity is practically vibrating off him. It’s reassuring. I’ll take his keen interest above his fear any day.
While I’m relieved, it doesn’t stop my thundering heart. It’s more than an ache. Any second now, it’s likely to burst free, creating a mess on the dust-free floor that looks like it’s made from some sort of granite.
As I’m assessing the likelihood of my heart giving out, Solan putters around what’s clearly the kitchen area. There’s a tap unlike any I’ve ever seen before made out of black stone. He tugs open what appears to be a heavy rock, revealing an array of items that I suspect are food. The whole time, he’s smiling, sending the occasional glance my way with what I’m sure is intended to be a reassuring nod but could possibly be him sizing me up to figure out how much broth to make that’ll cover my human form.
After making eye contact, I glance away quickly, my gaze snagging on… the fuck! “That’s a TV.” I stand and rush over to what is definitely a TV. It’s an older style, one from maybe thirty years ago with a large back end but a flatscreen.
Wide-eyed, I turn to Solan. “How’ve you got a TV?”
A patient smile is already plastered on his face along with a flicker of excitement in his gaze. “Twenty-five cycles ago, a section of your human world replaced a section of this one in Terrafeara.”
