With a grimace, I said, “I may have reacted badly to the video and panicked. Jayden went off somewhere.”
Max’s brows shot high. “And you don’t know where? Has he called his agent? Anyone?”
I shrugged, feeling lousier by the minute. That I’d spiraled over the last year, then had a crisis figuring out my sexuality, then acted like this, pissed me the fuck off.
I stood up and shook my head. “I need to fix this and find him.”
“While I agree, you traipsing around the place isn’t going to work.”
“Neither is me hiding here.” For crying out loud, who had I become?
“Hold on. Let’s get back to me saying I don’t get it. Why not just admit you didn’t get together until you were in Australia? That Jayden did nothing wrong? Nothing you’ve said or done will compromise… hell, anything as far as I’m concerned. If this is your pride—”
“It’s not,” I snapped.
In response, Max quirked a brow at me. He’d been my agent since going pro. He knew me well. While we didn’t socialize, our professional relationship meant we had a firm handle and read on each other.
When he didn’t say anything, I shook my head. “It’s not,” I repeated, even as I forced myself to open up to the possibility that it was exactly that.
“Listen.” Max sat forward. “You’ve always been the unmovable rock. The voice of reason. The man who processes everything, weighs up the odds, and does the right thing. The man who everyone, especially Jayden, depends on. Whatever you’re going through, been through, struggling with, heck, embracing and loving, that’s all just the next step. It doesn’t mean you’ve lost any of those qualities. But I know that brain of yours.”
I grunted and leaned back, exhaling loudly. “People keep having to talk me down and help me get my emotions to make peace with my head.” I shrugged. “It’s weird, man. That’s usually my job.”
Max nodded. “So maybe it’s your turn to let others support you for once.”
“Everything you’re saying, I understand. I agree with. But it’s alien as fuck, letting go.”
“That’s just the control freak inside you talking. It’s not a weakness.”
I managed a smile. “I know. You know I could spout off about toxic masculinity for days.” But he was right. It wasn’t about feeling weak. None of it was about that. Letting someone who wasn’t me take the reins, though, was the difficulty. It didn’t help knowing I’d screwed up, time and time again.
“I know I’m not perfect.”
Max scoffed, and I flipped him off.
“But I regret letting the story run about me and Jayden when it wasn’t true.” There was still Pearce I would need to apologize to.
“Then maybe you wouldn’t have ended up with the revelations you’ve had.” The asshole chuckled when I blanched. “Relax, I’m sure it was meant to be, and whatever other romantic crap you want to assign to you figuring things out. Just find a way to forgive yourself for not always being perfect.”
“And maybe that pride thing you mentioned holds a ring of truth to it,” I admitted.
He laughed. “Okay, so what’s the plan? Who are we talking to? And how much groveling is necessary to make sure Jayden doesn’t dump your sorry ass?”
CHAPTER21
JAYDEN
On surprisingly steady legs,I headed back to campus. I’d brushed off Mark’s suggestion I call a cab or he’d escort me. I needed the time to think.
Having spilled everything to Mark, I wasn’t surprised when he’d absorbed every word and listened intently, not once interrupting me. While he’d also shared pearls of wisdom afterward, all I needed was Sutton. Without him, I felt strangely numb.
Between our argument and my guilt at the poisonous things I’d said, I just want to shove my tongue in his mouth, suck him off, and set the record straight. Exactly in that order.
I expected he’d want to talk some more. But talk was overrated. Why hash things out when an orgasm was a hundred times more effective? Make that a joint orgasm, and we’d be blissed out and back to putting our world to rights.
I chuckled inwardly as I stepped into the courtyard, heading toward our room. Pulling out my phone to check the time, I winced, seeing missed calls from my agent. Adulting was the worst, as was fame at times. I closed out his text, not wanting to read it, and noticed a handful more calls and texts I’d missed since switching my cell to silent a few hours back.
My breath hitched when I saw Sutton had texted me.
