Many times over the past week we’d had the chance to come clean. With our agents, with Monty, with our family and friends. The final deciding factor for holding on tight to our lie was answering a call from Pearce.
Jayden and I had ended the call shaken, privileged, and with a whole mess of emotions.
Then there were our friends who we’d be seeing tomorrow.
If we told Nate and Ryan the truth and explained everything to them along with our whys, they’d understand. I was sure of it.
But I knew all too well how once someone knew the truth, that information often found a way to escape. The truth coming out would be a hundred times worse in this situation.
The deception made me feel ill.
“All in,” Jayden agreed, his focus intent. I eyed him curiously, wondering at his intensity, and then he floored me when he said, “So we date for real.”
I froze. The loud pounding in my ears made it difficult to think. He couldn’t have possibly—“What?” I finally asked, sitting bolt upright in bed, the sheets pooling around my waist. “Forreal? I don’t under—”
Jayden sat up, his voice earnest when he spoke. “Well, if we’re together and engaged, we’re not going to be dating anyone else. Not that either of us was.” A smile lifted his lips as he continued. “So yeah, before the moment that shouldn’t be named, which if it’s not clear is the time I put my tongue in your mouth,andjust for clarification, you totally kissed me back”—he didn’t give me time to react, or even attempt to deny it, which I wasn’t prepared to do as there were already enough lies and secrets between us—“we were pretty much dating anyway, right?” My mind boggled, but he powered on through, saying, “You’re the only person I ever spent time with, went out or stayed in for dinner with, hung out with. Hell, we even went with each other when visiting our families. That’s like… the most committed relationship I’ve ever been in.”
By the end of his mini speech, he was wide-eyed and looking deadly serious.
Me? Amusement bubbled in my gut, but right alongside that was a feeling that was so fucking dangerous I didn’t know how to handle it.
Hope.
It was a hell of a thing.
“You’ve been rendered speechless as you know I’m right.” Humor filled his tone, but the intensity in his gaze didn’t waver.
I cleared my throat and got my brain to work. “A romantic relationship usually implies being physically close.” Somehow I kept the wobble out of my voice.
“You wouldn’t even be able to count on two hands how many times we’ve hugged or held hands. Plus, there’s that thing you do sometimes…”
My brows shot up, and nerves awoke inside me. “What thing?”
“You don’t even realize you’re doing it.” Triumph flashed across his features.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“You see, it’s so instinctive. You crave me. It’s okay to admit it. Everyone knows I’m handsy.”
It was true. Jayden absolutely was, but as he continued, I couldn’t help but wonder what he was about to share about me. There wasn’t a chance I’d touch the “crave” observation either. No fucking way.
“You always touch me when I need comfort”—pink lit up his cheeks, his grin not quite as cocky—“hold my neck, press against my shoulder, squeeze my knee or let me know in some other way that I’m okay. I don’t even have to say anything for you to be able to read me.”
With no idea how to respond, I pressed my lips together.
“You don’t do it with anyone else, and you’ve always done it, silently supported me, understood what I needed.” When he stopped speaking, his gaze roamed my face, searching for my reaction. His lips parted, and the tip of his tongue flicked out so briefly I would have missed it if I wasn’t so attuned to taking my fill of him.
Once again, my pulse increased. Jayden Moore should come with a health warning. One of these days, he was going to give me a heart attack.
Needing to say something, anything, I ended up asking, “But dating for real, how would that even work? This is all pretend.” The words sliced through me, but they needed to be said.
“Thirty-three years old, and you don’t know how dating works, Gale. Seriously?” He quirked his brow. While his cheeks remained flushed, his tone was easy, and a new sparkle appeared in his eyes. The man got off on challenging me.
And hell if I didn’t love him the more for it.
“You know what I mean, asshole. I know how dating works, but… why? I just don’t get it.”
Frown lines appeared on his forehead, and his exhale was frustrated. “Are you deliberately being facetious?”
