I was gifted with my skill with words and metaphors and remained surprised that I’d actually managed to graduate college at all. Though Sutton may have had something to do with that too. Sure, we’d gone to different colleges, but I may have accidentally on purpose fought hard to get into the college closest to his, as there wasn’t a chance I could attend Dartmouth like his big-brained self. We’d met up as often as possible over the four years, and he kept me grounded and made sure I worked enough to pass and not bring shame to my momma.
“Okay, we’re out of here soon, and I suppose we need to figure out what to say?” I said after he remained quiet. “Perhaps put your phone away too.” I indicated toward his cell, which he’d taken back and scrolled through. At the look on his face, my heart thudded loudly. The usual calm expression was nowhere to be seen. “Hey,” I said, concerned, reaching out to squeeze his arm. “Let’s not sweat this, all right? Let’s not say anything for now. We’ll get out of here when Nate arrives and go kick back and relax. We’ll figure it out, perhaps talk to the team’s PR or something. This doesn’t have to be a big deal.”
Like last time, his reaction left me confused. For a fact I knew Sutton wasn’t homophobic. He’d not only been vocal in his support of the community over the years but put his words into action and helped one of his cousins with an LGBTQ+ rally about six years back. Since then, he’d been a strong ally.
Knowing that about him made his reaction to our kiss last year more difficult to understand. I admitted I’d overstepped and had apologized about how sorry I was that I didn’t get his consent first. I wasn’t a complete asshole. With each apology, he’d acknowledged he understood my intention, but for weeks after, he’d acted differently.
I swallowed hard. Maybe one day he’d tell me the truth about what was really bothering him, but for now, we needed to deal with this. However we did that, I refused to have it destroy our friendship.
“Okay,” he finally answered, his gaze steady.
“Good. Let’s get my stuff packed up then, and you go fill that script so we can get outta here.”
CHAPTER4
SUTTON
This was insane,and I only had myself to blame.
Every time Jayden had drifted off yesterday, dread had held me frozen, so terrified something was seriously wrong and he wouldn’t wake up again. Fear had me spurting out those words, and now a new shit show was unraveling.
To make matters worse, every moment I’d spent with him yesterday had been as ordinary as before our kiss. We’d laughed, joked, shot the shit. The difference was this time when he laughed, my heart sped up. When the light caught his hair in a certain way, bringing out dark blond highlights in his otherwise chestnut strands, my heart had jolted. And by the time he’d drifted off to sleep properly after whispering in the dark room that he was happy I was there, not for the first time I wondered just when it was I’d fallen in love with my best friend.
For thirty-two years I’d been straight. No hesitation, no questioning, and absolutely no doubt. I knew who I was, inside and out. Hell, I had a bioethics degree. While my degree was rooted mainly in healthcare, the initial part of the course was about understanding my own ethos, morals, and values. We’d had a deep dive into our sense of self, and at no point had I been confused.
Not until that kiss.
That one single moment that had unraveled everything I thought I knew was true.
After that, every touch, look, joke, and every single moment we’d spent together had been too much for my heart to take. My brain went to war with the pumping organ. And now, after months of distance, it had all been for naught.
My heart was in control, a hundred percent, effectively telling my brain it could go screw itself.
“You sure this is the best thing to do?” I finally asked, having remained silent long enough as Nate drove us toward the airport.
“You saw yourself what the media were like when you guys left the hospital. It didn’t take long to figure out that you were also here to see Ryan. There’s been press camped outside our place all morning.” Nate glanced in the rearview mirror at me.
“I know the press can be intrusive cocks here in Australia too, but I think it just took both Nate and me by surprise,” Ryan added from the passenger seat. “Out front did you spot the ESPN crew?”
I nodded, having wondered myself about that. I didn’t care enough about media franchises to know if reporters had flown in last night or they simply had American correspondents here all the time. The reality was it didn’t matter. All that did matter was that Jayden needed peace and quiet to recover, and there’d be no chance of that with every man and his dog wanting a photo op and an interview.
“My uncle’s place out in Mitchell is the perfect place to disappear to,” Nate said. “You’ll jump on the flight to Roma, pick up your hire car, and it’ll just take about an hour to get out there. It’s small but is powered and has fresh water. Stop by the store before you leave Roma, though, and pick up supplies, and you’ll be golden.”
“Why does it worry me you felt the need to say it had power and water?” Jayden said from my side. He’d been weirdly quiet since Nate and Ryan got us from the hospital with their plan to take us to Brisbane Airport and for us to jump on the one-fifteen flight to Roma.
I saw Nate wince through the mirror. “I visited a few times as a kid, and the dunny used to be outside, and yeah, it has tank water, but it wasn’t until about twenty years ago he got the place hooked up to the grid. Before that, it was on a gene.”
“Ajen-knee?” I asked, having already figured out what he meant by a dunny, and was relieved as hell I wouldn’t have to go outside to relieve myself.
“Yeah, an old diesel generator,” he clarified, putting his blinker on and taking the exit off the highway.
“Just focus on recouping and figuring out what you’re going to do,” Ryan said pointedly, angling to look over his shoulder at the both of us. Unasked questions formed in his eyes. They’d been there since he came to the hospital. He hadn’t asked a single one, though. Hadn’t prodded, hadn’t demanded answers or called bullshit.
“We will,” I answered, side-eyeing a resting Jayden, his eyes now closed. From the mad dash from the hospital to the developments of this past hour, my own head pounded. Christ only knew how he was coping. A quick glance at the time told me it would be another hour until he could take more pain medicine, which I expected meant the ones he’d had were wearing off.
“You all right?” I asked quietly, leaning closer to Jayden.
He opened his eyes, looking so tired that I wanted to reach out and do something, anything, to make his pain and exhaustion go away. “Yeah. Not really looking forward to a flight.”
