With a nod, I swallowed the tight lump in my throat. When Dad hesitated, my gaze sharpened. While Dad wasn’t touchy-feely, he was up-front. “What?” Curiosity colored the word.
“It’s just… me and your mum were talking.” He paused, and I lifted both brows, encouraging him to continue. “Well, this place is just a store, just a building. A business.” Shock rippled through me as he continued, “I picked up running the place after my dad retired, gave it my all, and enjoyed it. I just…” He trailed off, his gaze intent and searching.
With the loud pounding of my pulse, I couldn’t hear my question as I asked, “Just what?”
“It doesn’t have to be your dream. And even if it was, it’s okay for dreams to change.”
The pounding turned to heavy, fast beats, taking on the pace and volume of a freight train. His words sounded so much like Ryan’s, I struggled to fully register them. “You-you want us to sell the store?”
A low sigh fell from Dad before he smiled gently, his eyes filling with patience I recognized. “I’m saying you can do whatever you wish. You don’t have to feel tied... trapped—”
“I’m not trapped,” I was quick to say. “I’ve never felt trapped.” When Dad arched his brow at me, my shoulders sagged. “Nottrapped,” I emphasized. “Perhaps a little responsible, but never once have I felt forced to take over, or that you wouldn’t support me if I’d chosen another path. I love working here and in town and with you.” My chest tightened, hating that my parents were so concerned about me.
The creases on Dad’s forehead smoothed out, his relief obvious. “That’s good, son. I just needed you to know that we’ll support you, no matter what.”
I huffed out an emotional laugh, completely overwhelmed by my parents and how fucking awesome they were. Rubbing a hand over my face, I shook my head. Today had been jam-packed with revelations. Hell, the past twenty-four hours had been. “Why are you saying this now?” Curiosity wriggled in my belly, despite me having a decent suspicion why.
“We didn’t know if you were considering moving with Ryan to America.” His words were so matter-of-fact that my heart stumbled, sure that was no longer an option. Ryan felt vulnerable, that much I was sure of. I also expected such a huge move with me there and trying to keep our relationship a secret would be too much for him.
I knew when my expression faltered, my hurt rushing to the surface, because Dad took a step forward, his lips turning down. “What’s wrong?”
Twisting my mouth, I tried to buy a few moments, wondering if I wanted to share with him. Over the past month, Ryan had been my world. I’d damn well orbited him. It meant I hadn’t voiced any of my concerns or the beginnings of my likely heartbreak to anyone. And Ryan and I had barely scratched the surface of dealing with the fallout of our separation.
“Ryan’s not out.”
Dad’s brows shot so high I was a little concerned by his level of surprise. “But I thought since being home and him telling you… and the two of you being together, and telling us—”
I shook my head, cutting Dad off. “I can’t go to America with him. And Ryan won’t be coming out.”
“Ever?” This time a deep frown appeared, something akin to disappointment and sadness finding purchase.
I took a breath. “Just while he’s playing in the League.”I think.I shook that errant thought away, knowing my own sadness weaseled its way into my system.
“I see.”
But from the look on his face and the tone of his voice, I wasn’t sure he did. Hell, I did “see.” I understood completely. That didn’t mean I didn’t resent Ryan’s fear or how fucked-up the world was.
I needed to get out of here, away from Dad’s pity, away from talking about shit that impacted me yet I felt I had no control over. “Listen, if you’re sure, it’s probably best if I do head out.”
Dad nodded. “Absolutely,” he said, giving me the pass I needed and letting me go.
It didn’t take long before I was buckled up in my car. After fifteen minutes of driving and chaos in my head, I indicated and pulled over to the lookout point just a few minutes from Gran’s house.
Once parked, I stepped out and took the few steps needed to the barrier. The view from the mountain was stunning. I took it in, hoping the beauty would help center me or at least distract me. Below, a canopy of trees A down, stretching out to the valley. If I squinted, I could just make out the shine of water from a large dam.
Closing my eyes, I inhaled deeply before exhaling a little shakily. Dad’s offer had appeared out of nowhere, throwing me for a loop. Just two days ago, the same offer would have buoyed me, especially knowing Ryan’s initial thoughts about Minnesota and having the support system he wanted to come out.
How quickly my world could be turned upside down.
It didn’t escape my notice that while I had this freak-out, Ryan waited for me, eager for us to spend the night alone together. Christ, how I wanted that. Hell, at this point, Ryan and his desire for me, his feelings for me, were all I could count on.
With fresh resolve zipping in my veins, I made a dash for the car. The fuck was I thinking, lamenting on the what-ifs and the seemingly no-win situation I was in when I had the man I loved desperate for me to fuck him?
Rather than smacking the upside of my head, I focused on getting to Ryan. The sooner I did, the sooner I could escape in his warmth and comfort.
* * *
“Oh, wow.”With my brows set high, I peered down at the spread Ryan had organized. “Ryan Broadwater being romantic.” While the teasing was blatant, I pushed affection into my words.
