Page 23 of No Take Backs


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I’d rolled into the cute Airbnb in the early hours of the morning after enjoying the show, dancing till my feet legit hurt, and having had so much to drink, my head had spun.

Tallis and John had taken me under my wing for a second time, simply by being so welcoming. Not only that, they’d introduced me to more of their friends, a couple of whom I’d grabbed numbers from.

I’d been missing out, having forgotten how empowering and important a tight group of friends in the community was.

After my night out, I was on my way to getting that back.

A week had passed since then, and I’d texted a couple of guys I’d met and even arranged for a quiet drink at Bar QK one night. My week had also sped by with daily texts from Ryan, and his invite still unanswered.

Every time I thought I’d decided, I wigged out, doubting myself.

My phone pinged, and I opened the text, immediately laughing.

Ryan: Remind me never to eat grits again. I swear, they’re the devil’s cum.

Me: Shit, warn a guy with a text like that, mate. Nothing like opening a conversation with devil’s cum. And grits?!? Is that the weird breakfast thing?

Ryan: Yep, also known as the devil’s cum. That shit is gross. Went out for breakfast this morning, and I’m still gagging on the memory of the stuff.

I paused, my brain immediately drifting to Ryan tasting cum and gagging. I gripped my dick through the denim of my jeans, grateful I was in my office behind my desk. Dick twinges at work weren’t the best at any time of the day, but when I was due to head out and cover Patrick for his morning break in fifteen, yeah, I needed to get on top of that.

Me: Best I don’t touch on any of that. Shouldn’t you be sleeping or something?

It would have been so easy to jump all over his words, and maybe ten years ago, I would have, but with the uncertainty between us, I didn’t want to push it too much. My heart had been broken once already. Me flirting so obviously…. I shook my head, aware it hadn’t been the first time we’d flirted by text, but fuck if I wasn’t terrified I was heading for a fall.

Ryan: Too wired to sleep.

Me: ???

Ryan: Just thinking about my visit… and yours???

I winced. Ryan hadn’t broached the subject since he’d asked. I wasn’t surprised he’d let it slide for so long. While we’d both changed, grown over the years, some traits were most definitely the same.

Ryan’s lack of tenacity being just one of many.

Me: I’m thinking about it.

Ryan: What can I do to make it happen?

I snorted a humorless laugh, aware I no longer needed to worry about my stiffening junk. The potential answers to Ryan’s question were numerous.Don’t hurt me. Don’t let me fall for you again.Though for the latter, I wasn’t sure I’d ever stopped.Don’t abandon me. Promise to always be there.

I released a heavy sigh, hating I felt like a needy dickhead for my heart’s inner ramblings. ’Cause that was definitely what they were. My heart was the driving force to all things Ryan-related.

Me: Give me time.

Dancing dots appeared immediately, and I swallowed hard, waiting for his response.

Ryan: I’ll give you everything and anything I can. Including another sorry and a promise not to be a fuckhead again.

A loud snort tore out of me. I seriously wanted to visit and spend some time with the man. Get to know him all over again. He’d been my best friend once. After these weeks of exchanges, he was already vying for the top spot again. Not that there were any other contenders.

Me: Not being a fuckhead is a good quality. As is not complaining about the taste of devil’s cum.

And I totally went there, already rolling my eyes at myself for my inability to stick to my word. That’s what Ryan did to me, though. He drew out the playful side of me, the ridiculous flirting, and a little of my bravery too.

Ryan: Ha! If you do visit, we’ll see how you handle it.

Me: The taste of cum has never been an issue, loser. Bring it.