6
Dan
Since being back in town,it was times like these when I really questioned my good judgment. When I lived in the city, everything followed a set routine, especially last year. It was a time of work, gym, beer, and sleep. Rinse and repeat.
There was stability in living in the city.
Here on the Sunshine Coast hinterland, with the breeze picking up, the heat pressing against my skin, and smoke in the air, it was as far from routine or ordinary.
Everything changed so fast.
Between the past few weeks of no rain, the scorching heat, and not enough rural firefighters like myself on the ground, exhaustion was my new best friend or worst enemy—I hadn’t quite decided. All I knew was functioning on barely any sleep and trying to balance my day job with my volunteer firefighting work meant I was running on fumes.
But we all were, and knowing we weren’t getting smashed like many of our neighbouring regions simply made me feel guilty, especially as I was so relieved.
“You good?”
The sound of Craig’s voice had me stretching my neck and glancing up. He looked like how I felt. His soot-covered face would take a good scrub or five in the shower, and I expected even showering would be an effort considering the sleep evident in his eyes.
“Yeah.” I bobbed my head and reached for the passenger door.
We’d been out for only five hours or so on a small blaze, having taken over from a crew who’d been battling with the damn thing seven hours or so by the time Craig and I got there.
Small.
I snorted in my head at the word. “Small” took twelve hours and eight crew members. It had been like that for the past twelve days. This summer had been out of control.
I’d only talked to Ross a couple of weeks or so back about my previous stint as a rural firefighter. I’d joined as soon as I was old enough, so at sixteen with my parents’ permission, and had done so for the four years before I left, seeking a different life.
I’d fought my fair share of fires back then, but nothing like the fires we, and the east coast at large, were dealing with today.
It seriously was so different.
“You want to pick up a takeaway on the way back?” Craig asked, starting the engine now he’d stripped out of his uniform, having dumped it in the tray of his ute.
“Noodles would be good and quick.” My stomach rumbled as if on cue.
He nodded, took a quick look at his phone, and smiled before putting his Toyota in gear and pulling away. “Ross messaged.”
My stomach flipped and fluttered at the mention of his brother. “Yeah?” Unsure if my voice was as neutral as I attempted or not, I glanced out the window, gaze on the smoky air, making dusk appear even darker.
“He made lasagne for us both, said he’s already dropped it off.”
I smiled at Ross’s thoughtfulness.
He was always doing stuff like that, even more so over the past couple of weeks, with the call-outs. Being a school librarian meant he was off work since it was the school holidays. When I’d told him he didn’t need to go to so much trouble, he’d rolled his eyes in that way he did when a little embarrassed and a bit annoyed while trying to not make a big deal out of it. The conversation had ended with him telling me to rack off, and he’d help out however he could, and I needed to suck it up.
If only he’d known howthatcomment had brought so many illicit thoughts to my mind.
Ross was impossible to be around. Well, if impossible meant I was always finding an excuse to spend time with the guy, even though I’d promised myself and Craig I’d back off. It was more to do with me finding itimpossibleto be around him while ignoring how he made me feel. How he made my heart beat fast. How, over the past few months, I was finding it more and more difficult—yeah, almost impossible—to make a move without ruining everything. The pull to see if there was something more between us rode me hard every damn day.
Six months since being home and being reminded just how fucking perfect he was, and I was still holding back. That dread of a destroyed friendship remained a heavy weight pressing against my chest that I just couldn’t get past.
“You listening?”
“Huh?”
Craig chuckled. “I’m not even going to ask what’s got you so distracted.”
