CARTER
We were finally backat home. We’d just dumped a suitcase filled with clothes in the spare room, and Tanner was virtually dragging me to the shower.
I went willingly, needing the escapism only Tanner could offer me. It had been a weird day.
Not only had I promised to fuck—I cleared my throat at the word and the image it evoked, and hoped to Christ I’d do it right—Tanner, something I was desperate albeit anxious to do, but also Scott had visited and survived.
It was awkward as hell, which was to be expected, and we didn’t get into the ins and outs of his life or his secrets. But by the end of breakfast, I’d lost count of how many times he’d apologized. Heck, Tanner had even stepped in and told him enough, and that the apologies needed to stop.
Scott had also sent in his resignation, and I wasn’t quite sure how I felt about that. It wasn’t like I expected to be Scott’s best pal or anything, but from what I’d seen of him over breakfast, he actually seemed like a decent guy. Tanner did repeatedly remind me though that he was sure Scott didn’t even know who he was, so the jury was still out.
I jumped, lost in thought when Tanner tugged my T-shirt over my head. I grinned at his enthusiasm. He told me often enough that he wanted me to top, and while I’d felt a little selfish for pulling back and not giving him my all, I knew he’d wait, despite not knowing my reasons.
It was time to fess up.
Both naked after fumbling to undress each other, we stepped into the shower and under the warm spray. Tanner’s mouth settled against my lips, his breathing heavy as he devoured mine. His tongue was slick and warm as it gently probed my mouth. I pushed against him eagerly, stroking my own tongue against his before pulling back for air.
“You okay?” His voice was deep and breathy.
“Yeah.” I nodded as his eyes searched mine.
“You don’t ha—”
I pressed my forefinger to his lips, offering him a reassuring curve of my mouth despite my thrumming heart. “I want to. I’m just nervous.”
Tanner tipped his head, his gaze piercing mine. If I hadn’t been so anxious, I would’ve found the widening of his eyes comical. Awareness seemed to click into place as his features softened. “I’ll help you through it.”
I nodded slowly. “And tell me if it’s good or not.” I winced at the last word.
“Baby.” Water-softened hands palmed my cheeks. “You won’t hurt me or screw this up. Everything about you making love to me is going to be fucking spectacular.” He grinned, and my lips tilted to match his widening smile. “Okay?”
“Okay.”
His mouth was back on mine in an instant. We pushed closer together, our bodies pressing against each other, so close there was no room for air. I gripped one perfect globe of his ass and Tanner gifted me with a needy moan. There was no way I could or would back away from this now.
In the few relationships I’d had, I’d never felt the pull, the need, or the desire to top. With Tanner, I wanted to share every experience with him. It had just taken a crazy amount of courage for me to convince myself I could be good enough and satisfy him.
Every word, whisper, touch we shared had been enough to finally reassure me that he was worth the risk.
“Let’s go to bed,” he said against my lips, between rough kisses. We had barely washed down, but I was too desperate to care.
With a nod, I switched off the water, took his hand, and led him out of the shower. All his work on the house had definitely paid off and was worth it. The double shower he’d put in was one of my favorite features. I made a halfhearted attempt at making a mental note to say thank you again, but was too distracted by Tanner’s hand on my erection.
A needy groan escaped me. “Bed. Now.”
I felt his grin before I saw it. I knew Tanner liked the rougher version he brought out of me when I was turned on. I was more than happy to oblige.
We scrambled to the bed, hands gliding across skin, fingers pinching, tongues licking, and mouths tasting. Once on the mattress, I pushed Tanner to the center of the bed so he lay on his back. My eyes fixed on his, I leaned over to the bedside drawer, tugged it open, and removed one of the many bottles of lube we stashed around the place.
Heat flickered in his eyes as his gaze drifted from my eyes to my hand. He squirmed before me and bent his knees so his feet were flat on the bed.
“Wait.” He stilled. I bent forward and kissed him while reaching out and taking a pillow. I sat back on my heels and indicated I wanted him to lift. He did so with contentment on his face, and I placed the pillow under his hips.
I glanced down and took in the new view the angle offered. While I’d yet to top technically, I’d had my fingers, my mouth, and a toy or two inside him. I knew the pressure from his channel when he orgasmed, knew the perfect clean taste not only of his cum but of his ass.
Christ, I hope I last.A hand on my thigh startled me. My gaze latched on to his immediately. There was no need to control my expression. I needed Tanner to see what he did to me, see how important he was, and for him to know he was my everything.
This,thisI could give him.
