When he cast Rusty a brief glance, the Pyclon wasn’t looking at him, but his tail was high and more poofy than Gem had ever seen it. Thoroughly pleased, Gem focused back on the espresso machine, the stone a solid but pleasant weight in his pocket.
Tuesday, Gem discovered a baggy holding several pins hiding inside the coffee bean grinder. They were bright and colorful with funny sayings.
One said,He/She/They. As long as you think I’m pretty.
Another said,Sounds gay, I’m in!
The third had a cow wearing a burglar outfit, and it said,Be gay. Do crime.
Gem took one of the cafe aprons and fastened it around his waist, then he secured the pins proudly to the front. He heard Rusty purr in fits and spurts, like he was trying to stop it but couldn’t, and Gem smiled.
Wednesday, Gem found a pair of earrings hiding under the frothing pitcher. They were small studs with flat backs—because he’d told Rusty once that he preferred flat-backs since they didn’t dig into his head—and they were cow faces. Cartoon, highland cow faces.
They were the best earrings he’d ever seen, and he immediately put them in his earlobes, using his phone camera to inspect his reflection. As Rusty wiped down tables, he started to whistle, and Oliver gawked at the Pyclon as Gem preened.
Thursday, there was a cow necklace that matched the earrings hanging from the handle of the dairy steamer, and when Gem crouched low and asked Rusty to clasp it around his neck, he did. His claws grazed gently over the back of Gem’s neck, and Gem shivered, refusing to hide it.
On Friday, no matter how hard Gem searched, he found no hidden presents around the espresso machine. Or in the mini fridge or amidst the mood syrups. He scoured the entire space behind the counter and came up empty. Not that he needed a gift every day, but Rusty had set a precedent, godsdammit, and Gem had quickly adapted.
Not wanting to be a brat, Gem shook off the disappointment, but Rusty noticed. He was more observant than Gem had ever credited him. Before he left for the day, he brushed past Gem with a whispered, “Stop pouting, and check your purse.”
“Oliver, hold down the fort,” Gem ordered, chasing after the Pyclon who’d disappeared through the swinging doors.
“Gem!” Oliver whined, but Gem ignored him.
He marched to the coat rack and dug through his purse, finding a box wrapped in brown paper. Through the crack of the open back door, Gem met Rusty’s gaze, and the Pyclon offered him a small, almost bashful smile, before he ducked out of sight.
Ripping the box open, Gem gasped, eyes watering as he pulled out a cow figurine. A cartoon cow wearing goggles and a floaty, cannonballing into a pool.Cowabunga. Pristine condition. Not a chip or scratch in sight. It was perfect.
“I’m gonna ride that Pyclon until he passes the fuck out,” Gem muttered to himself as he inspected every angle of the figurine he’d been searching years for. “I’m gonna murder him with orgasms.”
“I did that once,” a nasally voice said from behind him, and Gem screamed in fright as he spun around. Tad sat at the edge of the metal counter, webbed feet swinging as she watched him with bulbous eyes. “Death by orgasm. It’s a real thing.”
“Ew, Tad!” Gem cried.
“Don’t be such a square. It’s not like I did it against his will. He paid me for it and everything.” Climbing to her feet, the Anura adjusted her wetsuit before waddling back to the sink. “If you’re gonna try it, make sure you get it in writing that you’re not liable for death or dismemberment. And get it notarized,” she said fiercely, pointing a thick finger at him. “That was my mistake the first time. Made for a hard legal battle.”
“You are terrifying and magnificent,” Gem said, and she smiled eerily.
“You bet your fat ass I am.”
“Aw, thank you,” Gem simpered.
“What’s with the weird cow thing?” she asked, reminding Gem why they were talking about orgasmic murder to begin with, and he hugged it to his chest.
“Just the best thing that’s ever happened to me,” he said, and Tad made a face.
“Gross. Sorry I asked.”
Hooking his head into the kitchen, Gem scowled when he remembered Toni was on his lunch break, probably napping in Quin’s office. “Hey, Zef,” he called, and Zef angled their head without looking at him, “Can you do me a solid and help Oliver in the front for five minutes? I need to take care of something, and it’s super-duper important.”
Zef’s antennas quivered, but they nodded. “I shall do my best.”
“Thank you. You’re amazing, and I love you. Platonically,” he added when Zef looked momentarily horrified.
“Oh.” A light blush darkened their green cheeks. “Thank you, Gemae. I am fond of you as well.”
“Stop being cute. I can’t handle it right now,” Gem said, pointing toward the front. “Tell Ollie I’ll be back in five minutes.”
