“Me too,” Jude said with a flush to his cheeks.
Gem sent Toni several thumbs-up as he left the room, wanting to stay and eavesdrop but knowing Toni would hear him if he tried.Since he didn’t want a haranguing, he explored the human home, keeping himself hunched so as not to run into any pointy light fixtures of death hanging from the ceiling.
Mr. Pickles, a large fluffy creature that Oliver had called a cat, sat on the couch and glared reproachfully up at Gem. It reminded him of the way Rusty glared, angry but so adorable he couldn’t possibly take him seriously. Gem reached out to pat it, but it hissed and swiped at him.
“Well that’s uncalled for,” he said.
Mr. Pickles’s tail flicked angrily.
He stuck out his tongue.
Mr. Prickles growled.
He bared his fangs.
Mr. Pickles flashed canines and hissed.
“Oh, it is fucking on!” Gem cried, pointing a threatening finger at the cat.
Oliver’s mother, Maggie, appeared around the corner, and they both yelped in surprise at seeing the other. Maggie was small and round, with yellow hair like Oliver’s, though hers was streaked with gray. She was skittish, but she had kind eyes, and Gem liked her immediately.
“Hi, Mrs. Ollie’s mom,” Gem said, and the human woman’s smile trembled as she looked up and up and up.
“Oh, hello.”
“Gem,” he said as a reminder, because she’d probably forgotten during the commotion of their arrival. “Or Gemae,” he added, dropping his voice conspiratorially with a wink and a sly smirk, “if you’re feeling nasty.”
She didn’t respond, and the following silence was awkward. Which meant Gem could not abide it. So he cleared his throat daintily and said, “I just wanted to make it very clear, because I feel like there was someconfusion before, that I have no intention of sexually molesting the cows. Or any other living creature on this farm. Or anywhere, in fact. Just no molestation ever.
“Consent is super important to me,” he insisted as Maggie’s eyes grew large. “Like, this one time, I was chatting with this guy on Cock’d—it’s this demon hook-up app—and he was super into somnophilia. And I was like, ‘Hey, babe, no problem. I’m up to try anything once. Just tell me what you want.’ And I was totally gonna follow through ’cause I’m a man of my word.
“But then I got to his place, and he was asleep. Which, you know, is the point,” Gem tittered, and Maggie reached up to grasp her cross necklace in her fist. “But I just couldn’t do it. I knew he was consenting. I knew it was what he wanted, but I couldn’t just fuck an unconscious person; it felt wrong.
“Not that I’m kink shaming him or anyone else who enjoys that. It’s just not for me,” he clarified with a hand on his chest. “So I woke him up to tell him, because communication is important, even if it’s just a hook-up. And he was annoyed at first, but then he said he was also into bondage, and I was like, ‘Babe, bondage is my jam.’ Then he tied me up and fucked my face.
“So, it all worked out in the end,” Gem finished smugly, smiling grandly down at the human. She blinked at him, mouth ajar, eyes wide and somewhat horrified, and his smile dimmed. “I’m so sorry, what was your question again?”
Husky laughter stopped Maggie from replying, and Gem spun around to find Rusty sitting on the window seat, one leg curled up underneath him as he rolled up his loose tobacco into a cigarette.
“Rusty, how long have you been there?” Gem demanded.
Rusty tucked the cigarette between his lips, still chuckling. “Um, long enough to see you lose an argument to a cat, scar Oliver’s mother forever, and learn one of your hard limits.”
“I didn’t lose to the cat. I was interrupted,” Gem said icily. “And I would never scar Oliver’s mother. I have a deep respect for mothers, given that I have three.” Turning back to Maggie, who was still watching him like maybe he had, in fact, scarred her, Gem said, “My parents are a polycule. Three moms. One dad. And I know what you’re thinking. Ew, patriarchy! But Dad’s a bottom, so it’s a very feminist situation.”
“Gem, let’s go outside,” Oliver said as he charged into the room, glancing worriedly between him and Maggie. “Mom, are you okay?”
“Of course, she’s okay. We were having girl-talk,” Gem said, shooting Rusty a glare when he started laughing again.
“Either way, let’s just go outside,” Oliver said, and Gem clapped.
“To the cows?”
“Yeah, sure. Just… outside.” Oliver shooed him onto the porch, and Rusty followed, lighting up his cigarette.
The others joined them soon after, and while Oliver took half the group to see the horses first, Gem followed Toni and Jude to the barn, dragging Rusty with him to see the baby pippies. They were small and golden and poofy and so cute Gem wanted todie.
Thankfully, he didn’t. He helped Rusty into the pen, where the pippies swarmed them. Toni and Jude found another pen of animals—baby chickens, Gem heard Jude explain—and Rusty sat down, chittering at the pippies as they proceeded to climb all over him.
