Page 51 of Luxuries of Lust


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“Oh my gods, that’s worse than the frosted tips,” Rusty cackled.

“You think I don’t know that?” Gem wailed, covering his face with his top hands. “I went through my parents’ house and burned every picture I could find from my twelfth year of life, and now, I just try to convince everyone that I magically jumped from eleven to thirteen. Since there is literally no evidence that I was ever twelve years old, it’s actually worked a few times.”

Arm wrapped around his stomach, Rusty curled inward as he laughed. Gem giggled along with him, face aflame with embarrassment.

“I can’t picture it,” he finally said, “but I think it’s safe to say you didn’t pull it off.”

Gem shook his head, hands still steepled in front of his mouth. “I didnot. It’s one of my deepest shames. Almost worse than my cow closet.”

Rusty’s laughter died instantly as his eyes widened. Gem froze, hand slapped over his mouth, horror washing over him.

“Cow closet?” Rusty echoed.

“That doesn’t sound like a real thing,” Gem mumbled.

Rusty grinned mischievously. “I think you said cow closet.”

“I definitely didn’t say cow closet,” Gem lied. Badly.

Sucking his teeth, Rusty twisted the cap back onto the polish bottle. “Gem, is that your cow closet?” His thumb jabbed over his shoulder, toward Gem’s very cow-themed closet.

“No,” Gem lied again. Also badly.

They stared at each other for a never-ending moment before Rusty turned and scrambled off the bed. With a battle cry, Gem lunged forward to stop him, but the Pyclon was faster than he expected. Dark pink fur slipped through Gem’s fingers as Rusty rolled, landing on the floor on all fours. Then, laughing wildly, he scrabbled toward the closet, all while Gem clumsily chased him down.

“No, don't!” Gem lamented as Rusty yanked the closer door open and stumbled inside.

Given his keen eyesight even in the dark, Rusty immediately found the dangling string to the lone bulb on the ceiling and tugged it on. On the threshold, Gem stopped and blanketed his face with two hands, peeking through his fingers as Rusty took in the closet.

The black and white splotched wallpaper. The shelves of cow figurines in various materials. The artwork. The bobble-heads. The keychains. The collages that Gem had made himself. And looming in the corner, the stuffed cow he’d custom-ordered from a questionable human website that probably stole his identity and ruined his credit score.

“Whoa,” Rusty said, and Gem fidgeted with the hem of his tank top, wiping the sweat from his lowest palms on his jammie shorts.

“It’s not what it looks like,” he blurted, and Rusty cut Gem a dubious look over his shoulder. “Okay, it’s exactly what it looks like. I love cows! I think they’re adorable, they make funny sounds, and I smile every time I see a picture of one. They bring me joy, but according to Toni—and mytherapist—it’s not healthy to love anything this much, so Toni said I should keep my cow-crazy confined to a dark corner where no one would find it or else I won’t ever get laid again. Because who wants to fuck someone who’s obsessed with cows to an unhealthy degree?

“So I did.” Gem waved at his cow bobble-head collection. “I put all my crazy in the closet. My cow closet. My crazy cow closet!”

Glittering claw shimmering under the swinging light bulb, Rusty pointed toward the corner. “Is that a life-sized cow plushie?”

“Technically, no. Because they couldn’t make them that big. I asked.” Gem sniffed as he picked at the fraying ends of his shirt. “This was the largest they could manufacture. His name is Walter. He’s my emotional support stuffie. I snuggle him when I’m sad, and he makes me feel better.”

“Is it bigger than me?” Rusty asked, though it sounded like he was talking more to himself than to Gem.

Blowing a slow breath between pursed lips, the Pyclon turned in a slow circle absorbing every detail, and Gem shifted his weight as he waited. Waited for Rusty to laugh at him. Waited for Rusty to look at him like he was officially off his rocker.

At long last, Rusty propped his hands on his hips and said, “You ever seen a highland cow? They’re super fluffy and have long hair that falls in front of their eyes, so they look emo.”

“I love highland cows,” Gem admitted on a whisper.

Rusty nodded. “They’re pretty cute.”

Maybe it was the weed or the fact that Rusty wasn’t freaking out about Gem’s crazy cow closet, but Gem’s eyes watered and his throat thickened. “They are cute,” he croaked.

At Gem tears, Rusty’s eyes widened in alarm. “Why are you crying?”

“I’m not,” Gem said wetly.

“I can see you crying.”