“Why won’t you just tell me who’s there with you?” Oliver said.
Covering the phone once more, Gem whispered, “What the fuck is going on? What’s wrong with you? I sound like a psycho right now.”
“Shh, he’ll hear you,” Rusty whispered back.
“Why does that matter?” Gem mouthed, and Rusty jabbed his thumb over his shoulder to convey that he was leaving.
“Gem?” Oliver asked, and Rusty gestured to the door more blatantly.
“It’s, uh… my neighbor?” Gem said.
What?Rusty mouthed, and Gem flailed his hands and pointed accusingly at him.
“Okay?” Oliver said doubtfully.
“He came over because he wanted me to see…” Gem drifted off, looking to Rusty like it was his job to provide an explanation for the lie Gem had started. Rusty growled low and splayed his hands in front of his stomach. With a wrinkle of his nose, Gem said, “His balls?”
What!Rusty mouth-shouted at him, and Gem mouth-shouted back, though Rusty couldn’t understand him.
“What? Why does your neighbor want you to see his balls?” Oliver demanded, and Rusty waved at the phone to say,Exactly what I’m wondering!
“You gestured to your balls,” Gem hissed quietly. “What else was I supposed to say?”
“I don’t know,” Rusty whispered back. “But I’m pretty sure anything other than your neighbor’s balls would have sufficed. Also, I didn’t gesture to my balls.”
“You clearly did,” Gem snapped before he flapped his hands. “You know what, I can still salvage this. So just… shut up.”
“Gem?” Oliver said through the phone, and Gem straightened his shoulders and smoothed a hand through his hair.
“Um, his balls are enlarged,” Gem blurted, expression telling Rusty to keep his mouth shut or face his wrath. So Rusty kept quiet as Gem expounded. “And he was worried. So he came over to get my opinion.”
“On his enlarged balls?” Oliver asked, like he wasn’t buying a single thing Gem was saying.
“Yes, and he’s very sensitive about it, which is why I lied about the wind.” Gem grinned victoriously as Rusty. “See it all makes sense. Now, I’m really busy with this whole ginormous-ball situation, so I don’t have time to hear about your sex life, okay? Not to be harsh, but it’s unprofessional. We’re co-workers, and I think we need to set some clear boundaries.”
“What?” Oliver’s voice rang through the phone, and Gem winced. “Youjust said you wanted to power-bottom for me.”
Gem tsked. “See, it’s things like that, Ollie. Super unprofesh.”
“Yousaid it!”
“And you keep bringing it up. I think the ship has sailed on us. It’s time to let go.”
After a beat of silence, Oliver said, “You’re lying, and I’m going to get to the bottom of it, mark my words.”
“M’kay, Ollie.” Gem simpered and sniffed haughtily. “I’ll see you tomorrow. Bye!”
“Gem!” The human’s screech was cut off by Gem hanging up on him, and he bit his bottom lip with one tiny fang.
“Do you think he bought it?”
“I don’t see how he could have,” Rusty flatly, and Gem bristled, rising to his knees on the couch.
“Well, I hate lying, so I did the best I could. I don’t even know why I couldn’t just tell him it was you.” Two hands on his hips, Gem crossed his other arms over his torso and glared at him expectantly.
Rusty floundered for a moment, but eventually managed to say, “I just—I didn’t want—what if he thought something?”
Impossibly, Gem looked more confused than before. “Thought what?”
