Like Toni knew their conversation was not meant to be overheard, he stalked through the kitchen and out the back door, stopping only a few feet into the teal sand. He crossed his arms over his chest, feet wide, jaw set. Ready for a fight.
Now that they were here, Rusty wasn’t sure what he was supposed to say. Leading with, “So I fucked your best friend last night,” didn’t seem like a wise choice. Plus, that might not have been his place to share, anyway. The biggest reason Toni would take issue with that was because Toni had an issue with Rusty himself. And that was something Rusty could address.
“What’s your problem with me?” Rusty asked bluntly, and Toni reared back slightly in surprise.
“What?”
“You’ve had a problem with me from the moment I stepped through those cafe doors. At first, it didn’t matter, because you’re a douchebag, and I don’t care what douchebags think about me,” he said, and Toni’s scowl darkened, “but things are different now. So let’s have it. What’s your problem?”
“Currently? Your smart-ass mouth insulting me,” Toni said.
“Fair enough,” Rusty conceded, tucking his hands in his pockets. “But you know what I’m talking about. Is it because I’m a Pyclon?”
Genuine offense colored Toni’s features. “So I’m a douchebag, and I’m speciesist? Fuck right off.”
“Is it because of Flesh Street?”
“No! I don’t care that you fucked people for money or that you’re a Pyclon or any of that shit, okay?”
“Then what is it?” Rusty demanded, voice rising in volume. “You’ve treated me like I’m a pile of vomit you slipped in, but I haven’t done jack-shit to you.”
“You didn’t have to!” Toni barked, taking a threatening step forward, blue finger pointed at Rusty’s face. “I don’t care how you treat me or what names you call me. I can fucking take that shit, baby, and it’s no skin off my teeth. But I draw the line at you talking shit about Gem.”
Blindsided, Rusty shuffled a half-step back. “What?”
Toni smiled down at him, sharp and jagged. “I heard you, you little punk. Smoking out back with Jaki, having a good ol’ laugh about all of us suckers inside. But mostly Gem, because he was an easy target, right?”
Shame and regret settled heavy in Rusty’s gut at the memory, and he dropped his gaze to the sand. “That was a long time ago.”
“Oh, but I remember it. Word for fucking word,” Toni sneered, leaning in, finger jabbing Rusty’s chest. “Brainless bimbo. Annoying. Obnoxious. Um, slutty, if memory serves me right. Ringing any bells?”
“I—” Rusty tried, but Toni snarled, cutting him off.
“Gem never did anything but welcome you with open arms, and that was how you repaid him. Smearing his name like you were better than him.”
“I never—”
But Toni wasn’t done. He had six years of pent-up frustration, and Rusty had opened the door voluntarily, hadn’t he?
“You’re entitled, and you’re rude. And sometimes, you’re a stick in the mud,” Toni said with another jab at Rusty’s chest. “And I get that your life ain’t easy, but newsflash, you and your trauma ain’t special. We all got shit. At least, we deal with it and try not to make it everyone else’s problem.”
And okay, Rusty hadn’t expected to be berated so harshly. His eyes burned, but he fought it claw and canine because there was no way, in this life or any other, that he would let Toni fucking Maryno make him cry.
“I didn’t—”
“Say it?” Leaning away, Toni laughed cruelly. “Don’t even try to deny it. I heard you loud and clear that day.”
“I’m not denying it!” Rusty interjected, fighting the urge to punch the smug grin off the Elas’s face. “I did say that shit, okay? I shouldn’t have, and I wish I hadn’t, but I did. But I can’t go back in time and take it back. All I can do is try and make up for it now.
“Gem knows. About all of it,” he admitted, and Toni blinked in shock. “I told him, and I apologized, and for some crazy reason, he forgave me.Because he’s better than I am. He’s better than you,” he added, and Toni snorted but didn’t disagree. “He deserves better than both of us.”
Crossing his arms over his chest again, Toni worked his jaw. “You ain’t wrong about that.”
“But I was nineteen years old. I was young, and yeah, I was a punk. So of course, I ran my mouth in hopes that none of you would catch on to how scared I was. All the time.” Rusty’s breath hitched, and Toni’s arms dropped to his sides, the anger burning in his dark eyes snuffing out. “You were all older and had a history, and I was the outsider. And I was okay with that, because I didn’t need friends or family or kindness, but you offered it anyway.Gemoffered it anyway, and I didn’t know what to do with that.
“So I ran my mouth and put up walls, because if I rejected all of you first, then youcouldn’treject me.” He blinked rapidly, trying to stop the emotional word vomit, but apparently, he’d been pent-up too. “And it’s not an excuse or a justification, but deities below, Toni, it was six years ago. Whether you want to admit it or not, I’m not that nineteen-year-old kid anymore, and I’m trying to make my amends. You’re the one still holding on.
“You had years to talk to me about this, but you didn’t. You let it stew and fester, all the while treating me like I didn’t deserve a place here. With you.” Rusty jabbed Toni in the chest this time, then pointed at the cafe door. “With them. With this weird, co-dependent family that was the first family I’d known since I lost my mom. And that fucking sucked. I might be an asshole, but so are you. So get off your soapbox, and cut me some fucking slack!”
