Kara looked at her feet and drug a toe across the floor. “I was caught up in the moment, but I’d be lying if I said that wasn’t a factor.”
Jon groaned. “You’ll be the death of me, woman.”
The memory of the scar spanning Jon’s back, put there by Logan the first time he’d awoken and lost control, filled her mind. “I’m sorry.” Her eyes brimmed with tears, the events of the evening starting to catch up to her.
Jon tilted her head up and put his hands on her shoulders. “Kara McKenna, I love everything about you except that you’re not mine. But Logan is my best friend. So if you ever choose me—” Jon’s voice hitched, and Kara’s heart ached for him. “I want it to be because you want me, and only me. Not because I’m your second choice.”
“I love you, too, Jon, but—”Not like she loved Logan.Her breath halted at the admission she’d made to herself.If only they were different people, in a different life.
“I know.” Jon closed his eyes and drew in a deep breath, then a smile slowly spread across his face. As if he hadn’t just spilled his heart onto the floor. As if she hadn’t just crushed it. He was an expert at donning the mask.
“I wish it were you. I feel awful about this.”
“Cheer up. Stay strong. It will all work out, okay? Now, I’m going to go hide until he calms down.”
Kara laughed through her tears. She walked Jon to her door, pausing when she saw what sat on the other side of the shattered frame. The black heels she’d abandoned during the masque rested outside her door, perfectly aligned.
Chapter Six
Merry shrieked when she entered Kara’s room, dropping the tray of coffee she carried. The cup shattered against the marble floor, and the dark liquid began seeping into a large puddle.
Kara jerked up in bed, eyes wild. “What is it? What’s going on?”
“You—your door! What happened?”
Kara blinked, turning her head to glance at the mangled doorframe. Shit. “I, um—I leaned against it, and some pieces broke off. The wood must have been rotten for a while.” It was far from the most convincing lie she’d ever told, but she had no rational way of explaining it.My Namirahn lover shattered it with his bare hands because he saw me kissing his best friend.
Merry edged around the spreading pool of coffee and pulled open the curtains, letting a burst of sun in.
Kara squinted as the harsh light hit her eyes. “I really wish you wouldn’t do that.”
“You should rise, my lady. A royal hunt has been announced.”
“Calim didn’t strike me as the bloodthirsty sort.”
“TheKingdoes not hunt. The princess has arranged it.”
“Oh. Of course she did.” Because a riding party full of of armed people, including the princess and Logan, was exactly what she needed right now. “How bad would it look if I skipped out, Merry? I’m not feeling well today.”I’ve only managed to ruin most of my relationships in the last twenty-four hours.
Merry frowned, the skin between her eyebrows tightening into a little wrinkle. “It’s the princess’s first outing since her return ball. Everyone who’s anyone will be there.” Merry eyed Kara with a knowing look. “You’re flushed. Were you up into the wee hours of the morning? I expected you to ring for help undressing last night.”
“I…managed.”
Merry smirked. “I’m sure you did. You don’t have to actually hunt, if you don’t wish. Many of the ladies ride in the back, gossiping and flirting.”
Kara nodded “I’ll go.” She needed to make up for her lost opportunities at the ball, while everyone from outside the city was still at the palace.
She dressed in tan breeches, a form-fitting white blouse with a high collar, and brown leather riding boots. Kara’d seen few women in Lerathil riding sidesaddle, and breeches didn’t seem a far cry from the split riding skirts the Vespertines wore. She equipped her weapons belt with her jeweled daggers, grateful for an opportunity to wear them exposed. Merry helped her braid her hair into a tight plait that started at the top of her skull and fell to the middle of her back.
On her way to the stables, Kara discovered the victim of Logan’s rage last night. He’d punched a large hole into the wooden wall a few doors down from Kara’s room. Blood smeared the wood. Kara winced and continued towards the stables.
The hunt wasto take place in the king’s private forest behind the palace. The hunting party gathered in the stable yard, most of them already mounted when Kara arrived. Based on the number of plumed hats in attendance, she was decidedly underdressed.
“Lady Grey,” the stablemaster said, bowing to her. “I’ve readied your mount.”
“Thank you.” The man led her to the tall grey mare with black stockings she’d been riding during her time at the palace. She let him help boost her into the saddle. She could easily mount without assistance, but appearances needed to be maintained.
Several large black hounds clamored around the riding party, eager for the chase. Serena and Aidan were present and mounted. There was no sign of Jon, unsurprisingly. When Kara spotted Logan’s broad form atop Char, a pang went through her. She could almost pretend they were back in Raven’s Rest, heading out for a training exercise. Logan cut a handsome figure in his tan breeches and long black riding coat. She liked seeing him in clothes other than Stygian leather—she could almost pretend they led normal lives. His bone bow was strung across his back, his quiver full of arrows fletched with raven feathers. He didn’t turn to look at her once. The pit in Kara’s belly grew.
