And he’d looked at her as if she’d been a stranger. Because for all intents and purposes that’s what she had been.
The distress with which she’d called his name, the need to make sure he was okay, the subsequent look of hurt when realization had struck.
All the pieces now gathered to make a tapestry of everything that had been missing these past weeks.
There was a reason he’d been carrying this black abyss where his chest was and where his heart beat. A reason he’d felt unsettled, untethered, and listless.
And despite the realization of what had happened and the regret that filled him now in its wake, he felt a fierce sense of relief. There was no disorientation, no scattered thoughts, but only a laser-like focus that had him bracing his arms now on his thighs, as he leaned forward where he was sitting, his gaze fixed somewhere far away, unseeing and yet, honing in on what he had to do.
His breathing settled in a comfortable pattern and his heartbeat slowed in the certainty of his purpose.
His girl was out there.
And he would find her.
thirty
The next morning, Nate woke up rested and calm, for the first time in days.
There had been no nightmares, no disturbing dreams, no sweat sticking his clothes to his body and cooling his skin.
Rising from the bed, he went through his morning routine, after which he called his work to inform he’d be working from home that day. He could go through his workload later, it was nothing he couldn’t do from home. Plus, that way they would probably start laying a bit off him for the job opening he’d turned down. But none of that mattered right now.
Coffee was the next necessary step since nothing could be done without it.
The scent of the dark roast filled his nostrils as he waited, leaning against the counter, and the memory of espresso-filled chocolate by a certain Italian grandma made him grin in the emptiness of his kitchen.
His grin fell slightly as the coffee machine beeped and his lips pursed in steely determination.
Pouring his coffee in a mug, he located his phone and found the name he was looking for. Four rings went through before the call connected.
“Were you dreaming about me or something?” Cooper’s voice came groggy through the receiver.
“That’s no way to say good morning.” Nate couldn’t help the small chuckle that escaped.
“A good morning, asshole, would have been at least two hours from now.” Coop’s voice paused. “And did you just chuckle? Who are you and what have you done with my buddy?”
Nate almost released a second chuckle before he decided he didn’t want to test his luck with Coop so early in the morning. It was just impossible to contain the lightness he was feeling. It was worth it even if he had to risk his friend’s wrath.
“I need your help.”
He heard Cooper cursing softly, probably realizing he wasn’t going back to sleep.
“What do you need?”
Nate hesitated for a moment before deciding to get straight to the point.
“I remembered everything, Coop. Everything Madison-wise.”
A sharp inhale and then, “Seriously?”
“Yeah. And I have to find her. The problem is that the only ways I can think of are semi-legal, so I’d rather try your way first,” he gritted out. Cooper was never going to let him live this down.
“Oh really?” Nate could practically hear the glee in Cooper’s voice. “And what way would that be, pray tell?”
He was going to have him spell it out, wasn’t he?
“You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?”