Afterwards, nonna had decided it was better if she visited them during the holidays or summer vacation. And that’s what this was. Christmas was only a few weeks away and she was due for her visit.
It was unbelievable how many things time scraped away. Even the fondest of memories.
But if they were truly the fondest of memories, they would come rushing back in a surge so cataclysmic it would not be stopped. And Maddy didn’t want to stop it.
It had been so many years since she had seen her nonna, years since Maddy had lost her.
But they were both here now, and Maddy no longer cared about how or why.
She would grab this chance with both hands, she promised herself.
***
The reality is that most people have once or twice wondered what they would do if they went back in time. The possibilities would be endless; make different decisions about important matters, correct past mistakes, appreciate things that came and went and would never come again.
Maddy had thought about this as well, even more so given the circumstances.
She didn’t want to change things. She didn’t want to do things differently. There was a reason everything had happened the way it had and it had shaped her into the person that she was. A bit closed off yes, but at peace.
But what she did want to do was revisit all those happy and sad moments that a teenage mind usually lets go in a blur of hormones and confusion, but an adult mind learns to keep close at heart.
Case in point.
Maddy was standing at the arrivals’ gate with an impatience that rivaled that of a child’s that awaits Santa. She couldn’t count the times she had done the exact same thing even if she wanted to. But now her mind seemed to catalog everything. Her heart was in her throat as she stood there among dozens of people shuffling around her, trying to get a peek at the passengers claiming their luggage.
Maddy’s fidgeting was probably getting out of control. She balled her hands into fists inside the pockets of her thick coat in an attempt to stop them from shaking.
The automatic doors kept releasing passenger after passenger but Maddy’s eyes snagged at a short elderly woman with fluffy, short, gray hair, huge glasses that were slightly tinted, dragging a large, tattered, green suitcase.
She would recognize that woman everywhere. Possibly because she had been her favorite person in the whole world.
“Nonna!” Maddy exclaimed, waving her hands frantically above her head.
Her grandma spotted her almost immediately, a large smile splitting her wrinkled face in half as she made her way slowly towards them.
They met halfway, Maddy almost running. It took great effort not to crash her but Maddy was powerless not to enfold her in her embrace, hugging her as tightly as she dared to.
It was all there; her scent that reminded her of the peppermints she always seemed to carry with her, her warm hug that like a balm had always soothed her soul, and her soft voice whispering ‘la mia cara bambina’ in her ear.
Maddy barely noticed the tears that started running down her face. Because they were tears of joy. Of such heartbreaking joy she could feel her heart breaking at the same time as it was mending. But what Maddy knew for sure was that a missing piece had been restored to her and she had never been more grateful.
Her nonna Angela was Maddy’s maternal grandmother. She usually spoke Italian with the family, but when visiting and surrounded by others, she could handle herself well in English.
Her cooking was divine. Anyone lucky enough to taste her food became a changed person. But nonna Angela wasn’t just a master in the kitchen—she was a force to be reckoned with. She never minced words and could eviscerate someone without lifting a finger. More than anything, she paid close attention to those she loved. Nothing escaped her notice. If you were among the lucky ones, you could always count on her—because she would always put you first.
Her nonna lived in a small apartment above their garage, so that they could spend as much time together as possible. Ever since she could remember herself, Maddy would always look forward to the part where they got home and opened that giant suitcase that would spill gifts upon gifts for the family.
When she was in elementary school, the gifts were everything Sailor Moon—figurines, coloring books, video tapes. Later, they became beautiful stationery in elaborate designs, which Maddy treasured but rarely used for fear of ruining them. Then came the books—stories in Italian with captivating covers that she would read for years to come.
And, of course, there was the chocolate. Maddy would never forget it as long as she lived. Her favorites were the dark chocolate pieces filled with espresso that melted in her mouth and the caramel-shaped torrone that stuck to her teeth like crazy—but she loved every second of eating them nonetheless.
Right then, Maddy, her nonna and her mom were all gathered in the apartment’s small living room trying to sort out nonna’s clothes and tidbits. Maddy’s dad had left just a few minutes before to stock up the fridge for the family dinner they would prepare for later.
Seeing all three of them together felt so strange to Maddy. It was like she couldn’t take in everything fast enough, like trying to hold water in her palms.
“So, Maddy, have you learned to listen to other people yet or are you still as stubborn as I remember you?” her grandma quipped from somewhere in the bedroom.
“Me? Stubborn? I’m sorry you must be confusing me with your other grandkid, nonna.”
