The ambulance is here. The EMTs are bent over Niko, blocking my view. “Daddy!” Maisie screams. I stand there, confused about which kid to go to until Linda walks toward me holding out my daughter. Arlene from down the street is with her. I take Maisie and begin walking toward Niko until Arlene grabs my arm. “Are you thinking clearly?” she asks. “You don’t want her to have to see this, do you?” I shake my head. WalkMaisie to the far end of our lawn to shelter her—both of us—from what’s happening on the driveway.
“It’s okay, it’s okay,” I keep telling Maisie to stop her crying. “Everything’s okay.” This may be the biggest lie I’ve ever told in my life.
No! I tell myself. His sisterneedshim. His mother and I wouldn’t be able to cope if… and Niko’s a tough little guy. He’s still breathing, still fighting to live. Emergency responders aretrainedand these two look like they know what they’re doing. Maybe he’ll need surgery when he gets to the hospital, but doctors perform miracles. He’s going to make it. Heis.
I look past the ambulance’s flashing lights at the end of the driveway to the neighbors huddled together on the McNallys’ front lawn. Arlene and her husband, J.G.; Dylan and Rashon, the couple who bought the Olmsteads’ place; Mary Louise and her daughter, Jodi, who sometimes babysits for us. The week before, Jodi walked her new puppy over to let the twins see her. Why are they still working on himhere? Get him in the ambulance! Get him to the hospital!
Two cruisers pull up in front of the house, one after the other. Two pairs of cops. The first pair walks to where it happened. Squatting, examining the right rear tire. One of them begins taking measurements, the other takes cell phone photos. The second pair of officers approach the neighbors. Linda McNally’s voice is the only one that carries over to me. “We screamed for him to stop, but he didn’t hear us!”
The police must have asked where I was, because I see Shawn McNally pointing in my direction. As they cross the street toward Maisie and me, Linda calls to them. “It was anaccident! A terribleaccident! He’s a wonderful father!”
Oh God, Emily still doesn’t know. “Someone call my wife’s school!” I shout over to the neighbors. “West Vine Elementary! She’s got a field trip today, but maybe they haven’t left yet!” Rashon waves his cell phone at me and says he’s on it.
“Hello, sir,” the stocky older cop says. “This is Officer Longo and I’m Sergeant Fazio. You’re the boy’s father?”
“Yes.”
“And you were the operator of the vehicle?”
“Yes.”
He waits for me to compose myself. “This one yours, too?” he asks.
I nod. “Twins.”
“She and the victim?”
Thevictim? Don’t call him that! “His name is Niko,” I say.
The younger cop focuses his attention on Maisie. “I have a little girl just about your age,” he says. “What’s your name, sweetheart?”
Maisie buries her face against my chest and mumbles, “Don’t see me.”
“Think you can have someone else take her while we talk to you?” the sergeant asks. I nod. Call Jodi and her mom over. When I ask whether they can take care of Maisie for me, Mary Louise says of course, whatever I need.
“No! I want Daddy!” Maisie shouts. But Jodi reminds her about the new puppy. Does she want to come over to their house and play with Cupcake? Maisie hesitates, but then she nods and detaches herself from me. When I put her down, Jodi and her mom each take her by the hand. “We can keep her for as long you need us to,” Mary Louise calls back as they walk her away. “We’ll pray for Niko.”
The sergeant does the talking. “We need to ask you some questions, Mr.…?”
“Ledbetter.” I pull out my wallet and, with a shaking hand, offer my driver’s license. The younger one takes it. “I’ll get started on this,” he says. Walks toward their cruiser, my information in hand. The sergeant gets close to my face and says I should tell him exactly what happened and everything leading up to it. “And I need you to be as specific as you can, all right? Don’t leave anything out, even if you think it might not be important.”
I back up a step or two. Begin with the French toast, the smoke alarm, Emily’s field trip, the plan to take them to my mother-in-law’s. I listen to myself retell the lie I had told my wife: that I was planning to spend the day job-hunting. I don’t mention anything about the liquor-laced coffee orthe extra Ativan. When I finally stop talking, I notice he’s looking down at my trembling hands.
At the end of the driveway, the EMTs are on their feet. They’ve placed Niko in the middle of an adult-sized stretcher and are rolling him into the back of their ambulance. One of them climbs in back with him. The other heads to the front and gets in the driver’s seat. “I need to go with him to the hospital,” I tell the sergeant. As the ambulance pulls away, lights flashing, I shout, “Hey! Hold up!” The siren begins blaring; they pick up speed. Turning back to the sergeant, I plead, “He needs me! I’m his dad!”
“Why don’t Officer Longo and I give you a ride over there?” he says. “That way, you can continue telling us what happened.”
“Yeah, but… I’ll have to sign things, give them information. He might need surgery. Who knows how long we’re going to be there? I should take my own car.”
“You mean the SUV?” He shakes his head. “That stays put. When they get here, the detectives are going to want to have a look at it. And anyway, you’re probably not in good shape to drive right now.” My stomach heaves. I wait. “Too shook up maybe, huh? We’ll give you a lift.”
“I don’t understand why detectives have to—”
“Standard procedure, sir. Especially if your boy doesn’t make it. I’m not saying that’s gonna happen but—”
“It’snotgoing to happen! But he needs his father. I should be with him in that ambulance!”
“Is he conscious, Mr. Ledbetter?”
