My heart aches in my chest at the thought. “It’s the best thing for him right now.”
“Cherry, listen. Don’t decide anything now. Promise me you’ll talk to Nicky first.”
I nod and tell her I love her. We hang up the call and I do the exact opposite of what she’d just counselled me to do. Pulling up the Webjet app, I find the next flight from Singapore to Melbourne and with shaky hands, I enter my credit card details. I need to do this now, need to book this now, before Nicky gets his hands on me and I lose all sense of which way is up.
It’s time for me to do the right thing for the man I love. He needs to focus on winning races and getting his fifth title. And it’s clear that will not happen with me around.
• • • • •
Rob, our driver for the weekend, takes me the three kilometres from the track to our nearby hotel, frowning at me when I ask if he can pick me up again in an hour.
“Where are you going, Miss Cherry?”
I bite my lip and look away from his confused expression. “If it’s not too much trouble, I need to get to the airport.”
He nods and agrees and I bolt up to the suite I’m sharing with Nicky, packing my suitcase while crying silent tears. Over the last six months of travelling with the team, I learnt to pack lightly, so this doesn’t take long, leaving me with altogether too much time on my idle hands to think about and regret my decision.
“Going somewhere?”
Nicky’s deep voice pulls me away from the window, where I’d been lost inside my messy mind, sightlessly looking at the festivities down at the track. Even though the race is long finished, by the looks of it, the party is just beginning.
“Nicky—” My voice breaks and I let out a shaky breath.
He’s in front of me in two quick strides, his arms banding around me, holding me in place. “Why are you packed? I thought we were staying for the week.”
That had been the plan, and when we made it, I’d been so excited at the thought of spending a week exploring Singapore with Nicky. Now I can just see that time as a waste for him. As adistraction.
“Why aren’t you back there?” I wave to the music and lights and fireworks going on outside our window and he scowls.
“Rob called me.”
Ah.
“Nicky.” I take his hand and guide him to sit on the edge of the bed. “I’m going home.”
His head jerks back like I’d slapped him.
“Why?” he grounds out.
My hands flutter in front of me, wanting to touch him, but knowing that would be a grave mistake. “I just think it’s for the best.”
His wounded eyes lock with mine. “You don’t want to be with me?”
This time I’m the one to flinch.
“That’s not it. It’s all just…too much for me. For the both of us. You need to concentrate on racing and…”
“And…?”
“I need a break.” I wipe my eyes with the back of my hand and sniff.
His gaze dissects my face, pulling apart my features like he’s searching for something.
“A break from…?” He asks this in a low, pain-filled tone.
I stand up and pace in front of him. “From all of it.” I wave to the track outside the window. “I’m sorry.”
He bows his head and takes in a long, deep breath. When he looks up again, pain like a thousand paper cuts runs through me.
