“I made coffee,” he offered. When he poured the coffee into three separate mugs, Jack shook his head.
“She’s been off caffeine since she’s been pregnant. Not good for the baby.” I swore the smug tone in Jack’s voice was on purpose. As much as I wanted to take baby steps toward forgiving my dad, seeing Jack stand up in his own, subtle way made me smile inside.
“Oh…right,” Dad muttered, bringing only two mugs of coffee to the table. His eyes made me think he might give me a little hug or kiss on the head like he usually would at home, but he stuttered and hurried back to the stove. He began plating the sausage and eggs and brought them to the table. Shockingly, my dad was not nearly as hungover as I thought he would be, considering his level of intoxication the night before.
One more indication of his excessive drinking. I couldn’t help but think it worsened when I left for Wyoming. It wasn’t like anyone was there to stop him in our empty house in Pennsylvania.
Jack set my orange juice on the table and rubbed my shoulder as he took the seat next to me. “You okay?”
I nodded slightly. This conversation needed to convey three things: One, my dad would never act like that again in front of me if he wanted to see me or my baby in the future. Two, he was going to respect my situation and Jack’s. And three, apologizing would get him nowhere. I expected promises and proof of change if our relationship was going to continue.
Dad sat down at the table across from us. My stomach immediately started to churn. I never had much morning sickness in the first few months of my pregnancy, but it felt like it was about to begin. Jack latched onto my hand like he knew what I was thinking as my dad took a long sip of coffee. “I’m going to rehab,” he admitted with an exhale.
Both mine and Jack’s jaws dropped to the floor. Every time he got too drunk and acted out, he would wake me in the morning with an apology breakfast and the promise that it would never happen again. I stopped expecting anything different after the third or fourth time it happened. His mug dropped to the table a little harder than he meant to, bringing our attention back to his face.
“Last night was an all-time low for me. I’ll admit, I didn’t respect you a bit, Hennicke, and the fact that it wasyoustopping me from making that bad decision, well…it led to a sort of revelation.” Jack nodded solemnly but displayed no emotion. “I’ve painted you as the wrong kind of kid for a long time. It was difficult to come to terms with the fact that I was the exact type of person I was trying to keep my daughter away from. But you aren’t that man. You’re better. And I need to work on getting better, too. I am so terribly sorry for what I did last night. To both of you.”
Silence ensued as my father looked between both of us for some sort of approval. I wasn’t sure what I could say at that moment. Was I proud? Relieved? Skeptical?
“I don’t expect either of you to forgive me for this. It was embarrassing waking up this morning and remembering everything I did.” I flinched, but he folded his hands and continued. “Actually, I…I spoke with your father last night, Jack.
The breath left my lungs, and my stomach lurched. Dad told Lenz?
“What?” Jack's stern voice matched his stone-cold face. “You told my father?”
Dad nodded and motioned for Jack to calm down, which I was sure would only make him angrier. “Wait. Before you get mad, let me explain.”
“You damn well better have an explanation for running to my father without giving me the chance to say anything,” Jackspat. I squeezed his forearm as he tensed. To be fair, Jack’s dad deserved to know, but Jack should be the one to tell him.
“Explain, please, Dad.”
“I didn’t tell Lenz about what’s going on over here, but I did tell him that he should pay a visit.” Jack tensed even further under my touch. “The reason I called him was to let him know that I am taking a break from polo while I’m away at rehab. He thought it was a great idea and even offered to find someone to lease my horses. Anyway, you two need to be the ones to tell him, preferably sooner rather than later. Lenz is a good man— better than me. It’s not fair to keep such a secret from him.”
We nodded in agreement and looked at each other. In the few months of having to communicate without actually speaking, we had learned to read each other’s eyes.
I can’t believe this, Jack’s seemed to say.What are we going to do?
We have to tell your dad,I replied with mine.
That’s terrifying. He’s going to be so hurt that we didn’t say anything.
I squeezed his hand.I love you. We got this.
Jack rubbed my hand with his and told me, without words, that he loved me too, then turned to my dad. “Thank you, Richard. We are going to tell him.”
“And I think it’s great you’re going to rehab, Dad. I’m so proud of you.” I meant every word. Dad was the only person who could help himself get better. That he was finally at this point brought a massive sense of relief. It wasn’t a sure fix, but it was the first step on his road to recovery.
Dad’s eyes softened as he looked at me. “I want to be a better father to you, my Maggie. And this baby,” he motioned to my stomach. “It deserves a good, sober man for a grandfather. That’s what I’m going to be for your family.”
He glanced at Jack when he said the wordfamily, and my heart nearly cracked from the changes my lost father was finally choosing to make. He deserved to be happy.
“When do you leave for rehab?” I asked, faking an itch to hide a tear below my left eye.
“Next week. I told Wally I couldn’t take the horses to New York with him. This is more important.”
“Seems you’ve had a busy morning.” Jack offered a slight grin.
“I wanted to feed the horses for you, but…the sun doesn’t help a hangover.”
