As if anything between us the last few months had felt that way. Maybe it was because no one had taken me in and cared for me the way Jack had—and I still couldn’t let myself wonder if it was for me or our future baby—but the way he treated me like I was so precious…it got to me. It made me feel things that weren’t safe to feel. Weren’t safe to voice. Weren’t safe to believe.
“Yeah,” I cleared my throat. If I opened my mouth any more, I might have admitted the thoughts running through my head.
“And as for the clothing issue…” he trailed off, searching for words—and searching my body with his eyes. Maybe he was sliding down the same slope as me. He lifted two fingers to tip my chin up. “You look breathtaking in everything.”
My gaze shifted in an attempt to relieve the intensity of the moment.
Fuck. I wanted him to kiss me.
Jack must have noticed my brain running a mile a minute, because he lightened his meaning. “Even when you smell like you’ve been in a barn all day.”
I caught his smirk and gave it right back to him. “Hey. That’s my job.”
The hand on my chin lowered to my stomach. “You’re growing our baby, Maggie. That’s something you should be proud of, never ashamed.”
“I-I’m not…Or not ashamed ofthatat least. It’s everything. This whole thing is a lie,” I reminded myself, unable to trust whether or not it was true.
“To the public, yes, it is. Our marriage—our romantic relationship is a lie,” he grimaced. “But this,” his hand continuedto stroke up and down the small bump that was now my belly. “How I feel about this baby? Our child? That’s as real as it gets.”
My insides twisted as I tried to make sense of everything. Jack was lying to everyone but me…about me. Did that not confuse everything for him like it did for me? Could this ruin our parental relationship if it went too far? What if the romantic feelings I was beginning to draw towards bubbled to the surface?
We had barely begun faking this marriage, and I was already lost to the lies and indiscretions. The simple touches. The way he ensured he always had a hand on me. The secret looks and smiles he shot me for show. The made-up anecdotes he recited about us.
Jack hadn’t kissed me in weeks. We had kept our relationship professional…mostly. Discounting a few longing stares and moments where it felt like it was only us, I could pat myself on the back for displaying this much control.
After showering and slipping into a black dress and a leather jacket to shield from the cool weather, I headed back downstairs, where Jack waited at the front door, his phone in hand. When he noticed me, his eyes traced my face. I said nothing and let him hold the front door open for me.
“You okay?” Jack glanced at me with concern as he pulled the truck out of the driveway. He reached for my hands, which I was nervously wringing in my lap.
I looked back at him and answered honestly. “No, I’m terrified. I don’t know how to do this. I’m a terrible liar.”
Jack chuckled. “You’re not. You lied your ass off at dinner with Mike that first night. And we’ve been pretty touchy when we’re out and about.”
Yeah, thanks to you.
His touches burned me in the best way. I had secretly begun to crave them whenever we put on our façade. In fact, going outlike this was more enjoyablebecauseit meant Jack gave extra affection.
“I know, but how should I know when I’m touching youtoomuch? Or if I’m acting way overly into you when I’ve been your wife for, what, a year?”
“A few months, right?”
“Right.”
We don’t even have a timeline established.
I took a deep breath. “You’ll be perfect, Mags. You always are. And like I said, we don’t have to stay too long. You can always say you’re tired or that your ankles hurt. Or that the baby is kicking.” He gasped softly. “Wait, the baby hasn’t kicked yet, right? You would tell me if they did? I’ve done my research on it, and it’s supposed to happen sometime between sixteen and twenty-five–” he paused and took a breath. “I just want to know.”
“Jack, I promise ifanythinghappens, you’ll be the first to know.” He was my partner through this. I needed to remind him of that.
“Good.” I didn’t miss the hint of possessiveness in his voice.
It wasn’t long before we pulled into the polo club’s clubhouse parking lot. There were already about two dozen cars parked, and muffled voices and music flowed from inside the clubhouse. My chest tightened.
But like he felt it, Jack tightened his grip on my hand the moment he noticed a change.
How could he know me so well after just a few months?
I brushed the feeling aside as Jack gave me a reassuring glance and another tight squeeze to my hand. Before I knew it, he opened his door and moved to the passenger side to open mine. I quickly smoothed out the skirt of my black, knee-length dress to keep from biting my nails. Jack reached me and took my hand to help me out of the truck.
