“Wait, you want to work for someone else?” Jack’s brows raised.
“I mean, we need another source of income. Especially since there are already two of us, and we’re going to be paying for a lot of things that have to do with the baby.”
He cleared his throat. “I actually had a plan for that other source of income, but you wouldn’t be able to do it.”
What?
Jack was going to take on two jobs to support us?
“What are you talking about?”
He brushed a hand through his hair. “I was going to take on some consignment horses for more money,” he said, referring to the profession of taking on other people’s horses to sell to potential buyers. “But you wouldn’t be able to help with that since you can’t ride.”
God.Why did he have to be so sincere?
“Jack…you don’t have to do that.” I expected him to help support our child financially when we agreed to this crazy plan, but I didn’t want him to work himself into misery.
“I want to.” He gave me his eyes for a fraction of a second before returning them to the road. “I used to do it with my dad for years before college. It was good fun and good money. But I won't do it if you don’t want me to.”
Fuck him and his stupid passion and desire to do something more with his life. I fell for this every time, seeing a man’s drive and motivation to accomplish something, and just going for it. Attempting to hide a smile, I rolled my eyes.
“Of course. I want you to do what makes you happy. I just meant that I need to have some sort of job myself. It’s not like I can sit around the house all day waiting for you to ask for my help with something.” I shrugged.
“I mean, I’m going to have to hire someone else to help me take sets, or I’ll have to do them myself, but there are plenty of other things you can help me with.”
It was thoughtful of Jack to help me feel useful, and I would still do whatever he needed me to, but now that we were bound together for a different reason than work, I needed something for myself, even if it was part-time. I needed to be able to provide for my child the same way that Jack was proving he would provide for me.
“Thank you. Of course, I’ll still be your groom—”
“Partner,” he reminded me.
“Yes, partner. But I’d still like to have another source of income.
“Do you know what you want to do yet?”
“Not yet.” Other than horses, I really wasn’t passionate about anything else that made good money. Time-wise, I would be pretty wrapped up with Jack’s horses and games, but maybe I could find something flexible or remote.
“Well, let’s leave that one as is until we figure it out.” His thumb moved over my knuckles. I didn’t miss thewein his sentence, his reminder that we were going through all of this together.
“Thank you.” I gave his hand a slight squeeze.
“I told you, Mags, whatever happens, I’ve got you.”
And I was really starting to believe that.
Chapter eleven
Jack
Crumbling. I was crumbling.
I needed to keep a brave face on for Maggie, but her concerns only amplified mine. Difference was, she was voicing hers, and I was staying quiet. Maybe it wasn’t the right move—choosing not to communicate my worries—but Maggie was scared as hell as it was. I wasn’t going to make it any worse. Three days on the road, over twenty hours of talking out our new lives, and one devil on my shoulder telling me I couldn’t do this later, we finally made it to Golden Meadow, and I was terrified out of my fucking mind.
There was no way in hell I was going to survive fatherhood. Hell, there was no way I was going to survive this pregnancy. I wasn’t equipped to be a stable, reliable partner, let alone afather. I was twenty-three for God’s sake. I hadn’t been around small children in a decade. And now I was entrusted to care for aninfant?
There were no signs of Maggie’s condition just from looking at her—besides her consistently distressed expression—but looking at her was becoming more and more difficult the morewe talked about our future together. I promised this woman through and through that I would be there for every second of the pregnancy and every second of our child’s life, but that didn’t mean it wasn’t ripping me to pieces. I was her rock. I was the father. I was the reason we were knee-deep in shit we knew nothing about. I couldn’t break down and share my feelings with her just because it was getting hard for me. In college, when things got to be too much, I would turn to my vices: alcohol and sex.
Unfortunately, sex was off the table until further notice. Maggie and I had a fake marriage to keep up. Pretending to be unaffected by the gravity of our situation was one thing, but pretending to be the husband of a woman I had only reconnected with over the last two months was entirely different. Speaking of, we needed to find some rings—the first of many items she and I would pick out together. In another life, I would have asked her father for permission to marry his daughter. Another dagger to the chest—we were lying to our parents about theirgrandchild.There was so much we needed to worry about, which is why I was grateful that Maggie pulled out her notebook and started a list, but my anxiety was growing faster than an unwanted weed. Therefore, my only solution was alcohol. Or a cigarette.
