Who was I kidding? Neither Jack nor I was ready for a serious relationship, and even if we were, there was a good chance it would go up in flames. I didn’t want any animosity between us with a child in the picture.
“Seriously, though, I agree with you. We will be partners and co-parents. If you want more, then we can talk about it.”
“Talk about it?” My tone became defensive. His meaning was unclear. Not that I wanted to create more complications, but I wasn’t looking to force him into a relationship. I didn’t want either of us becoming romantically attached.
“Maggie, I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I am not the best at relationships. Neither of us has great examples of successful marriages, but the least I can do is fake one as best I can.”
I slumped in my seat, and a pressure surrounded the crown of my head. Ididhave a terrible example of marriage, and I wasn’t exactly clear on Jack’s parents’ situation, but we were breeding a recipe for disaster if we got together. Too many complications. Not enough odds in our favor.
“I know,” I whispered.
Jack’s expression—even while facing the road—turned apologetic. His lips parted while two faint lines appeared between his brows. “I’m sorry.”
“You have nothing to be sorry for,” I replied honestly. “You’re right.”
“So…we’re friends.” It was a statement.
“Friends who are having a baby together and pretending to be married. Yes.”
“Perfect.”
The next question popped into my head. “How long are we faking this marriage for?”
Jack let out a heavy breath and scratched the back of his neck. “God…I don’t know. I mean, divorce is normal, right? I don’t think we have to keep the charade going too long after the baby is born.”
“It would be hard to split custody while the baby is so young. Especially with all of the long nights, and…” My voice trailed off as something else occurred to me. Something monumental. “Jack, we’re never going to be in the same place all the time. What if, after I have the baby, I get a job at one place, and you get a job in another? Then what?”
Polo wasn’t a job where you lived in one place year-round as a professional. You followed the seasons. You followed the sponsors. But that didn’t guarantee a job in the same place every year. And with Jack and me still finding our footing in the industry, we didn’t have a lot of legroom to negotiate.
A grimace crossed his face. “Fuck…I hadn’t even thought about that. And custody…”
Only a few days into knowing we were going to have a baby, and I could tell that both of us dreaded the idea of spending half our time missing the baby. The idea that he or she would grow up splitting time between us with the other parent so far away gutted me.
“How about this?” I started. “We keep this up until the baby is at least six months old, then we can reevaluate. We’re going to have enough going on trying to navigate parenthood, we may as well do it together for the first little while.”
Jack nodded. “I agree. Plus, then we can see some of their milestones in person, instead of over video or a FaceTime call.”
His response simultaneously scared the hell out of me and warmed my heart. We were going to seemilestones. “You’re right.”
“I really want to be a good dad, Mags. I want to do it right.”
I looked at him earnestly. “I know. And you will. Look at the example you had growing up.”
It struck me that, even though my words were meant to be reassuring, they were true. Jack was stepping up. We weren’t just running away together anymore. We were taking responsibility where it was due. We were handling our relationship as friends, future co-parents, and fake spouses.
A few seconds passed before he spoke again.
“Maggie, can I tell you something?” Jack finally turned his head to look me in the eye. I was captured by his amber irises.
“Of course.”
“I hate your dad for what he did to you.” I raised my brows in surprise. “Always have.”
“Oh,” was all I could come up with.
How much did he know? Was it my well-being he was concerned about, or the gravity of the situation itself?
“I’m sorry. I don’t want you to take it as me just hating your dad. I just…I hate what he did to you and your mom. For wrecking your family,” he added quietly.
