Shit. I forgot about my bloodshot eyes. I could’ve said I was drunk, but he knew I didn’t drink alcohol. “No, I’m all good. Just in the middle of something. But what’s on your mind?”
I could tell from the look in his eye that he didn’t believe me in the slightest. “Is it your dad? You thinking about that night?”
If I was shivering before, I felt like I was in the Arctic now. How could he know?
When I didn’t answer, Jack asked, “You sure you’re okay?”
The growl in his voice at the mention ofhimwas so prominent, I wanted to cry. Why did he care so much?
My body was not used to all of these shots at once. Finding out I was pregnant was one thing, but the reminder of my dad’s issues was a beast I had yet to conquer. What Jack didn’t know was that the events following my dad’s drunken actions were probably the reason we were here right now.
“I’m okay.” I nodded. Jack looked at me for more reassurance. “Really, I am.”
He sighed, still looking particularly bothered.
“Okay, well, there’s no easy way to say this,” he started. Oh, God. He was going to break off our friends-with-benefits and then I would really be screwed—in the non-literal way. I would have to tell him about the baby. And then he would think it was a ploy to make him stay.
I am so fucked.
I prepared myself for the worst. “I’m, uh…” he cleared his throat. “I took a job in Wyoming. Mike Luna, if you’ve heard of him, asked if I would be his pro for the season this summer. I’m moving on Wednesday.”
My heart dropped. He wasmoving?
It was the last thing I expected to come out of his mouth. His words weren’t nonchalant. They were nearly apologetic. Jack had no idea the gravity of his announcement. And here I was, left to pick up the pieces. I resisted the urge to start crying,but I couldn’t stop myself from hyperventilating. From taking in everything he just said to me in deep, rushed breaths. The world was caving in, and soon, it would only be my fatherless baby and me.
Jack jumped up from his chair and rounded the counter, placing his warm, rough hands on my arms. “Mags, what’s going on?”
Would I miss this when he left? His not-so-accidental touching? His overwhelming worry for me?
Jack was a good person. And despite how much I couldn’t see him as a father, he cared for me. For his family. For everyone. This was his chance to get out of Forrest Hills. To work on his own merit. And now I was carrying his baby.
How bad was it that I felt guilty?
“Wow, that’s great news, Jack.” My voice quivered, and I didn’t dare look him in the eye. I felt like a shriveled piece of nothing, falling apart before him. “I’m really happy for you. Just a little sad about losing the job, that’s all.”
My eyes squinted closed to stop tears from streaming down my face. God, this was even worse than I imagined. Even if Jack wanted to stay and help with the baby, he was moving two thousand miles away. There was no denying it. Now I really was on my own.
“Maggie.” His voice was firm and gentle all at once, making me even more afraid to keep this from him.
I had to say it. It was wrong to keep him from something that was his, whether he wanted it or not. “Jack, I’m pregnant,” I admitted through a sob.
What the hell was going on with me?
Scratch that. What the hell was going on with the world right now?
When my breathing subsided, I dared to peek up at Jack, whose face was frozen. The color drained from his face as thegrip of his hands on mine loosened. He looked like he had dissociated from his body. I didn’t blame him, though. My initial reaction was much more dramatic than his. He deserved the time to process this, just like I had given myself.
Jack released my arms to grip and turn my barstool so my body faced him, and reached for me. He pulled me into him and rested his chin on my head. I nestled into his chest and—for the second time—let him shield me from the world. I didn’t know how long we stayed like that. Me hyperventilating in his arms, and him just holding me, silent, with no movements.
“When did you find out?” he asked, not letting me go. Neither of us could look each other in the eye right now, face what happened head-on, yet.
“Thirty minutes ago.” I sniffled. “I was a week late and…and my birth control said 91% effective, so I–I went to the drugstore and bought two tests.”
Jack inhaled a sharp breath. “And both were positive?”
I nodded into his wet shirt, now more soaked with tears than rain. It clung to his body as tightly as I did.
“Mags…” he started, his voice barely a whisper. “I’m sorry.”
