Speeding up my movements, I helped him shed his pants to the floor. He removed his boxer briefs, too, so now I was one piece of clothing in the lead. Or behind, depending on how you looked at it.
He took my face in his hands. “What’s going on in that head of yours? I can tell you’re overthinking.” Before I could answer, he kissed me softly on the lips, as if to reassure me that whatever I was worrying about would be fine.
I decided to be honest with him and lay it all out there. “Do I look okay naked? Should I have shaved or waxed? Did the medicine I take to keep me supple down there really work?” What was the point of lying to him? At our age, there was no time for that. “In other words, I’m overthinking.”
“You look totally gorgeous, and I have lube if we need it. I want you to just relax and enjoy yourself—make that your job for tonight.”
I slid my arms around his bare waist, thinking how well he knew me already. “You are so…”
“Prepared?”
“Wonderful.” I kissed him, and my mind finally quieted.
He walked me backwards to the bed and before I knew it, we were tangled up together on his soft flannel sheets, kissing and exploring each other’s bodies. Matthew braced himself on his forearm over me, looking deeply into my eyes. What if this was your real life, my treacherous brain asked me.
It wasn’t real life though. It was vacation life, and it was about to end. I told my brain to shut up and enjoy the moment.
As we lay together, he touched the dewy place between my thighs, his fingers sliding over my tender skin, building me up until my back arched involuntarily, urging him on. My hands curled into fists around the sheets as my breath stilled, the sensations at my core building to a crescendo. Unable to hold on much longer, I needed to take him with me. I reached out and stroked his hard length.
“I want you to come first,” he whispered, stilling my hand.
I shook my head. “This time I want us to come together. Please? Let’s try?”
He smiled down at me. “I can’t say no to you.”
Quickly, without finesse, I moved on top of him, straddling his body. Encouraged by his sounds of approval, I guided him inside me. There were things I wanted to do to him and with him, but this first time might not last long. We were both ramped up and needy. I grabbed the headboard behind him and began to move my hips.
“Is this good for you?” I asked as I rocked.
Matthew’s eyes shuttered as he grasped onto my ass. “Perfect. You?”
“Perfect,” I echoed.
Our position gave him access to places that made me whimper with pent-up pleasure. There was no pain. I sent a silent thank you to my doctor for that gift. My body was primed and ready, and it didn’t take much for me to get to my climax. Delicious waves broke over me, coming again and again. Matthew must have been waiting for me to let go first, because he came quickly then, pumping wildly into me with a cry of relief. I loved watching his face as he spent himself, the pull of tension followed by divine relaxation. Absolute bliss.
Afterwards, we slept for a few hours before I woke him up so we could make love again, slower this time, luxuriating in each other’s bodies. When we finished, Matthew got out of bed and lit the small wood burning stove in the bedroom. It wasn’t even cold outside, but he knew I loved the comfort of a fire. As the flames danced behind the stove’s glass door, we cuddled and talked softly in the darkness, our legs intertwined, my head on his chest. Once again, my mind wandered to what could have been. What if I could experience a Wyoming winter, working hard during the day then sleeping, curled up together, in this bed every night? We could spend some time in Manhattan, too, enjoying the city, and I could show Matthew and Gigi the wonders of Rockefeller Center at the holidays. My family would love him, and he’d fit in so well, bantering with Tori and Rocco, impressing Mom with his gentlemanly manners. We could have the best of both our worlds.
I had to let go of those dreams because I was leaving in the morning, returning to New York where I’d be dealing with the fallout from Freddy’s interview inCelebrityand finally getting him to sign a divorce settlement. Matthew would be here in Wyoming, talking to his siblings and trying to save his ranch. I had to be realistic. Unless we made a Herculean effort, this beautiful relationship was going to end. As the fire crackled, he wrapped his arms around me, spooning me from behind, as he drifted off to sleep. I forced myself to stay awake to listen to him breathe deeply, enjoying the feel of his body tucked around mine. When you know it’s probably the last night you have with the man you love, you don’t want to miss a second of it.
CHAPTER27
MATTHEW
Iwanted to take Lauren to the airport, but she insisted I let Tyler drive her.
“I want to say goodbye to you here at the ranch,” she said as I cradled her in my arms in the early hours of the morning. Her words whispered across my skin. “I don’t want to picture you at an airport. I want to see you here, surrounded by all this beauty.”
When she said things like that, it was hard not to beg her to stay. Somehow, I held myself together as we said our goodbyes, and then Tyler drove her away, off of my ranch, but hopefully not out of my life forever. I wanted to take the day off and mope but, for better or worse, my job didn’t allow me time to wallow. Not only did I have to prepare for the Titans, I had to call my siblings like I’d promised Lauren I would. Instead of putting it off, I bit the bullet and sent out an invitation for a video call for the following afternoon. I’d delayed this moment long enough.
Predictably, Bowie grumbled about having to download another app onto his phone because the guy who flew charter planes for a living also mistrusted most forms of modern technology. Don’t anyone get him started on the evils of social media and artificial intelligence or you’d get an earful.Also predictably, my sister Faith was the first one to log onto the call. In fact, we were both ten minutes early, which gave us a few minutes to catch up with each other before the guys arrived. No doubt, at least one of my brothers would be late.
Faith gazed into the camera, her smile tired and careworn even though it was only three o’clock in the afternoon. There were mauve-colored shadows underneath her eyes and lines drawn around her mouth that could have been from age but leaned more toward melancholy. Maybe it was the bad lighting in her kitchen making her look ten years older than her forty-seven years.
“How are you?” I asked.
“I’m alright. It’s great to see you, Matty.” At least her voice sounded the same as always, warm and sweet, like her personality. Our mother had called me Matty, and hearing Faith say it somehow made me feel loved and bereft at the same time. “You have me curious about why you want to talk to all of us together,” she continued. “I hope everything is okay? You’re not sick, are you?”
“No, I’m fine.”
