Impetuously, I grabbed my phone and texted Matthew, asking him to meet me in the Round Room. Before I could regret my decision, I pulled my raincoat over my pajamas, shoved my feet into my hiking shoes, and hurried out of my cabin. The storm had begun an hour earlier, and rain pelted my jacket as I squelched down the muddy pathway. I could hear Matthew’s voice in my head telling me I shouldn’t be outside when there was lightning. Why was I suddenly taking risks when I’d been so careful until now?
Once I made it to the steps of the Round Room’s covered porch, I knew I was safe. The door to the building was unlocked, and I scurried inside, shaking water droplets from my jacket before removing it, along with my boots. Despite my best efforts, my pajama pants were damp from the rain, making me shiver with the chills.
I flipped on the lights, but the brightness of the chandeliers made me squint, so I flicked the switch again and opted for darkness. Thunder rumbled in the distance and after about twenty minutes of sitting and waiting, I closed my eyes and let my mind drift.
Matthew wasn’t coming.
Why had life brought me here, to this ranch at this time, if Matthew and I weren’t going to continue our relationship? Coming here, when I was supposed to be sent somewhere else, felt like destiny. Was there a different reason I’d come to Silver Sage Ranch? Certainly, it was time well spent reclaiming my joy, but I couldn’t deny that Matthew was a huge part of that reawakening, especially as the one who rekindled my physical desires. I tried to imagine myself back in New York on a date with a man in finance, or even one in the arts, and it all felt wrong because I knew what I wanted for my future and it wasn’t the hustle and striving of city life.I wanted time to look up at the stars. To notice the changing colors of the cottonwood and aspen trees. To saddle up and take long trail rides, even on days when there are other tasks that need to get done.
“Lauren?” Matthew stood in the doorway, lightning flashing dramatically behind him, outlining his form.
I stood up, my damp socks cold against the wood floor and hands shaking with nervous energy. “Did I wake you?”
He looked at me questioningly as he walked over. “What do you mean? I came here looking for you. You didn’t answer the door to your cabin, so I thought you were asleep, and then I saw the door to the Round Room was ajar.”
“Oh.” So he’d come to find me. “I sent you a text.”
“Sorry. I haven’t checked my messages in a few hours.” He pulled his phone from deep in his coat pocket but didn’t bother looking at the screen. “I had to work late in the dining room, and then I had some staff issues to deal with.”
“Let’s sit down and talk,” I suggested.
“I’ll make a fire first. It’s chilly in here and you’re in your pajamas.”
I looked down and remembered he was right, I was in my night clothes and wasn’t even wearing a bra. The last time I’d left the house this underdressed was…never?
I sat down and curled my legs under me, snuggling into the chair’s worn cushions. “I love a fire on a rainy night.”
He shucked off his dripping jacket and hung it on the back of a chair, and then systematically stacked logs, kindling and paper in the fireplace. Next, he lit a long match and held it to the pyramid he’d built until the flame caught and traced itself along the edges of the paper.Even before he lit the fire, the general aroma of the Round Room was ashes and wood, combined with the leather of the Adirondack furniture and a lingering smell of tobacco. It wasn’t unpleasant. In fact, I found it to be masculine, warm and comforting, just like Matthew.
He sat down on the loveseat next to my chair and clasped his hands together on his lap. “Didn’t expect the weather to get this bad.”
“Tyler warned me it would be a gully washer.” We smiled gently at each other. “I guess I found out what that term means.”
“I’m glad I got to see you tonight. I wanted to apologize for how I spoke to you earlier today. I was rude to you, and I’m really sorry.”
I studied the lines of his face in the shadows of the room. There was no “but” or “because.” His was the most direct apology I’d ever gotten from a man. I’d played out this conversation many times in my head, and in none of those scenarios had I pictured him apologizing to me from the jump.
“I forgive you,” I said earnestly. “And I owe you an apology too. You were right. I wouldn’t want to sell Ms. Match to someone and then stay on and work for them. I was naïve to think that scenario was going to work out. All I could see was my exciting vision for this place and all the numbers I’d crunched, and I didn’t consider your feelings.”
“I think my love of Silver Sage’s past might hold you back from creating your new vision,” Matthew said, “and I don’t want to be that person. I realized after our argument that I’ve been running around here, trying to keep everything the same, while you were the brave one, trying to plan a future for the ranch. I admire that.”
I wanted to tell him I wasn’t interested in destroying the past and changing everything that made this ranch so special, but that wasn’t our only obstacle. The thought of owning Silver Sage, hiring him to work under me while trying to be his girlfriend, was going to be way too uncomfortable for both of us. It wouldn’t be an equal partnership, and I’d already had a marriage with a messed-up power dynamic. I didn’t need to go down that road again. There was, however, one important misconception I wanted to straighten out with him.
“I need you to understand that I only started thinking about buying the ranch when you told me about your financial problems. This wasn’t some grand scheme of mine when I came here.”
“I know that,” he said. “I was upset in the moment, but it was silly of me to think that way. If you’re still interested in buying the property, I’d be happy to consider your offer among any others we receive. I’ll have to go with the best one, but…you’d certainly have my attention.” The pain in his voice made my heart ache.
“I have to admit, the idea of doing this with you was a huge part of the appeal.” He looked up at me, and I grimaced, my cheeks heating. “Maybe I read too much into how you felt about me.”
“Of course you didn’t.” He reached over and placed his hand on my arm. “Having such strong feelings for you is what makes this situation complicated. I’m falling in love with you, Lauren.”
My heart pounded in my chest, hope rising inside me again. “Me too. I wish we could rebuild this place together because it’s one of the most beautiful places left in this country.” I swallowed to control my emotions. “We haven’t known each other very long, but I think we’d make a good team.”
“I know we would. But even after you go home, please know I’m rooting for you. I’m on your side, and I always will be. Team Lauren Cozzi aka Mrs. Wagonblast.”
“I’m on your team, too.” I went to him, curling up on his lap and pressing myself against his chest. His strong heartbeat drummed against my cheek. “I’m not going to stop caring about you when I leave here. You and Silver Sage are coming with me, in my heart and in all my beautiful memories from my time here.”
“It doesn’t seem real,” he whispered into my hair. “I say the words about selling the ranch and leaving here forever, and I know what our bank account looks like, but it still doesn’t feel real. I can’t believe I’m going to lose this place.”
