I carefully lifted her urn and carried her outside to the little garden she’d planted under the kitchen window. After looking left and right to make sure I was alone, I started talking to her.
“I’m sorry I’m not doing a great job with the ranch, Mom. It’s not for lack of trying. I wish you’d told me how badly business had fallen off and how you were barely making ends meet. Then again, I imagine you wanted to tell me, and Dad wouldn’t let you.”
A light breeze blew across my skin, and I shivered, even though it was a warm evening. Was I crazy for thinking my mother was there with me in spirit? It sure felt that way.
“Mom, if you’re here, give me a sign.” An owl hooted in the distance, and I nearly jumped out of my skin. “Stop being a fool,” I muttered to myself.
Then again, maybe that was Mom sending me a message. This was her home for so many years, and she loved tending to this little patch of earth where she planted her pink-hued hollyhocks and royal purple delphinium. There were certainly more scenic spots on the property to scatter her ashes, but this was her special place next to the home where she’d raised her children. Family members could come and commune with her if they wanted to, and that felt important to me. I decided to text Sam for his opinion.
Are you okay with me scattering Mom’s ashes in her kitchen garden?
Samuel
Do what you need to do, brother. Just be careful if it’s windy. You don’t want to end up with Mom in your hair.
I had to smile at what was a classic Sam response to my question. His irreverence was in no way a reflection on how he’d felt about her. In fact, being the youngest and having years alone with her in the house after the rest of us had flown the coop, I’d always felt like he and Mom had a special bond.
I’d already started talking aloud to her, so I might as well continue.
“You always loved this little garden, Mom, and I have wonderful memories of you tending to it with such care. This house was your home for so many years that it seems fitting to let you rest here.”
I sprinkled a good bit of her ashes in the garden among her blooming flowers, but there was a lot more of her left in the urn. Should I put the remainders in some other places around the ranch? That felt a little odd. Would I want my remains scattered willy nilly all over the place?
There’s a lot in here. Should I save some?
Samuel
It’s not a chocolate bar. You don’t need to save some of her for later.
Aware of that. Thanks.
Samuel
Sorry. The ranch was her happy place. I think she’d want to be set free.
He was right. What was a more appropriate place for her remains than this land, even if someday it wasn’t ours on paper anymore? She belonged here at Silver Sage, and I’d deal with the consequences of my decision later.
A breeze picked up, as it often did in Wyoming, and I faced in the direction it was moving to avoid blowback. Her ashes mixed with the air as I shook the urn, floating her away into the night, drifting her all over her beloved Silver Sage. She’d become one with the dirt and the sky, and that felt completely right to me.
“I promise,” I whispered to her, “I’ll do everything in my power to keep this place in the Hart family. I won’t give up without a fight.”
CHAPTER23
LAUREN
After Matthew told me about the ranch’s financial situation, an idea took shape in my mind, the pieces unfolding one at a time. Some people created with broad strokes, but for my mathematical brain, it was more like making origami. I was up most of the night working through my plans until they shaped into something real and logical. Despite lack of sleep, I was buzzing when the sun rose, and the first thing I wanted to do was get more information. I called Deborah, my financial advisor in New York, and floated my big idea past her—buying a dude ranch in Wyoming. She fell into shocked silence. Then she admitted that although I had the funds for such a purchase, she didn’t support the idea.
“Why would you want all of that responsibility and stress right now?” she asked. “This is the time in life most people like you look forward to lying on a beach somewhere and enjoying the fruits of their labor. If you really want to invest in real estate, there are other options that are much more low maintenance.”
The last thing I wanted to do was lie on a beach for the next thirty years, so I thanked her for the financial information and hung up the phone.
Deborah’s less than enthusiastic reaction prepared me for what could be an onslaught of well-meaning naysayers, starting with my sister. Yes, Tori was all for new business ventures, but buying a dilapidated ranch in Wyoming was going to seem like a bizarre extension of the Ms. Match brand, which was what I had planned for it. Because of our high-end client list and Tori’s personal style, we were associated with exclusivity and luxury, not barn cats and bar fights. If I could get her to listen, though, I’d show her how my plan could work.
I knew one person who would be relieved by my news, and that was Matthew Hart. I couldn’t wait to tell him he wouldn’t have to sell his ranch to a stranger. My only concern was that he might think I was insinuating myself into his life. It was one thing to start up a relationship with a guest who lived in New York and quite another to have her buy your ranch and be a part of your life forever.
Unfortunately, the timing was never right to give Matthew my news. First, he was busy with preparations for the campfire cookout, which was as much fun as everyone said it would be with a horseback ride up to the mountains, cowboy beans and cornbread cooked over a fire, and even a few tall tales of the old west spun by Walt.
The following day was Gigi’s last at Silver Sage, and she wanted to take me on another picnic down by the river. We rode Loki and Banjo out there, the late August breeze cooling our faces, and we set up our snacks on those same sunny rocks we’d visited with Matthew on my first horseback ride at the ranch. My eyes misted up when she asked if we could keep in touch by email, and I wanted to tell her that it was likely we’d meet again someday soon, but I didn’t want to make promises when I wasn’t sure I could keep them.
