“I see…” I sat down on my stool behind the counter, and I wanted to drop my head in my hands and weep out of pure frustration. That wouldn’t be fair to Walt, though. This was a situation I should have seen coming.
“It would be a year-round position,” he said. “You know I don’t want to leave Silver Sage, Matthew, not to mention my feelings about living in CSU territory.” I nodded, acknowledging his lifelong allegiance to University of Wyoming football. “I’m not saying I’m taking the job. This ranch has been my home for so long I can’t imagine living anywhere else. And Three Rivers…I was born and raised here.”
“I know that.” I lifted a whining, attention hungry Jake onto my lap and stroked his back. “You’ve given your life to this place, and we’re family. We always will be.” He opened his mouth, but I cut him off. “I understand your dilemma, though. You’re worried you might be out of a job soon.”
He took off his sun-faded black hat and held it to his chest. “That’s about the high and low of it. At my age, I can’t be without work. I’ve saved some, but I’m still going to need a paycheck for the next six or seven years.”
“Then I think you should consider taking it.” I tried to ignore the lump forming in my throat. “I wish I could reassure you that things are going to turn around here, and you know I’m doing my best to make that happen, but I can’t make any promises.”
“You know I’ll stay through the season. I can help you close up the place, too.”
At this point, I wasn’t sure if there would be another summer season, but he didn’t need to worry about that.
“I appreciate that. Of course, I’ll give you the highest recommendation possible whenever you need it.”
He rubbed a weathered hand over his mouth. “I hate talking like this.”
“Me too.” I hated that I was in danger of losing the ranch. I also hated feeling like a failure. So many people were going to be let down unless I found a way to generate money quickly. “I’m sorry I’m not doing a better job of filling up these cabins.”
Walt assessed me with his warm brown eyes, the same color as the Wyoming soil we lived on. His gaze offered me more patience and wisdom than I deserved. He was always the epitome of a cowboy to me—quiet, tough, independent. I spent a lot of time wanting to be just like him. Letting him down gutted me, and it was all I could do to hold back the emotion that was building like a tsunami inside my chest.
“If I knew how to turn this thing around—” My voice broke, and I had to take a moment to collect myself. As if he sensed my upset, Jake put his paws on my shoulders and licked my cheek. “Hell, even if I had the magic bullet, I don’t have the money to put it into action, anyway.”
“You’re not to blame. I feel guilty that I didn’t warn you about taking over the ranch from your folks, but it wasn’t my place to do so. Or at least I didn’t think so at the time. I knew full well that we hadn’t kept up to date on things and that the guests weren’t booking like they used to. Your parents let things slip around here as they got older.”
“In hindsight, I should have been more realistic about it, too.” I pulled my cap off, then slid it back on again, a nervous habit of mine. “I could have inspected the books and the facilities, done my due diligence. I was thinking about what my parents would have wanted, and that was keeping the ranch going and making sure everyone got a paycheck on time.”
“Losing your parents was a shock. I was hoping Bowie and Sam might help you fix things up around here. Heck, I thought even Faith might come back. Maybe if all of you took on this mountain, you could have climbed it together.”
I wasn’t the only dreamer around here, apparently. “And I thought I could get a bank loan big enough to renovate this place.” I shook my head. “Things don’t always turn out like you plan.”
“I talked to Bowie last week,” he said. “You need to tell him about your struggles. He doesn’t seem to have a clue.”
That was because I’d shared nothing about my problems with my brothers or my sister. When our parents died, Sam encouraged me to take over the ranch. Bowie didn’t seem to care one way or the other and Faith tried to talk me out of it. She was the one who warned me that Mom and Dad had let it go downhill over the last ten years, but she’d always been the worrier of the family, so I’d dismissed her concerns. Shame on me.
“I don’t want to burden them,” I said.
“They’re co-owners,” Walt said. “You’d be informing, not burdening, them.”
“I guess so.” The thought of admitting defeat made me feel sick to my stomach.
“You’ve got the Titans coming at the end of the month. That will help.”
I wasn’t looking forward to a visit from the Order of the Titans, but they’d booked a week at the ranch for the last two years, and even when we raised the prices on them this year, they paid the increase without complaint. They billed themselves as a highly select cabal of business executives who met once a year for a week of drinking, fishing and unofficial networking. They preferred our remote location and small size because they were very secretive about their meetings, as if anyone else would actually care what they talked about. In fact, they made me sign a non-disclosure agreement so that I wouldn’t spill any of their secrets.
Kyra couldn’t help in the Round Room when they were on the property because once they started drinking, I couldn’t trust them to be gentlemanly toward the females on staff. Nothing awful had ever happened, but they got rowdy and obnoxious in the late evening, and I wasn’t taking any risks. As soon as we were on a stronger financial footing, I’d turn down their reservation requests, but we’d probably go bankrupt before then.
“They always enjoy coming out here to smoke cigars and shoot off guns.” Just thinking about The Titans put a sour taste in my mouth. “They love playing cowboy.”
Walt tipped his head and studied me. “I guess that’s what you need to think about.”
“How much I can’t stand those guys?”
“What kind of place you want this to be.” He leaned a shoulder against the wall, and I knew I was in for a story. Jake seemed to understand too, as he settled on my lap, curling himself into a ball. “Years ago, when your parents took over the ranch, they saw a vision for it. They wanted families to come out here for fresh air, fishing, horseback riding, and a genuine encounter with the land. Your dad might have given up the church, but this ranch became his second mission. I believe he saw communing with nature as a way to get closer to God.”
I’d never heard Walt speak this way. “Dad’s proselytizing finally got to you, huh?”
A slow smile spread across his face. “I did work for the man for a quarter century. At some point, his vision for this place became clear to me. Toward the end, we got away from it though. Old guests stopped coming and some of the new ones…well, they weren’t here for the fishing, I can tell you that. Did your parents tell you we had some young people come out here a few years back to do ayahuasca?”
