“Thank you.” I was so tired of faking this marriage. So tired of pretending to be happy when I felt miserable inside.
Freddy’s cell phone buzzed on the table. He picked it up before I could see the name on the screen, but I presumed it was his lawyer calling to find out if he’d worked me over yet.
“Hello? Hello? I can’t hear you.” He lowered the phone from his ear and glared at me. “The reception here is shit.”
I smiled sweetly. “Try walking around the ranch. That’s what I do.”
To my relief, he left the table to take his call. Matthew and I were the only people left in the dining room, and both of us were sitting alone. As soon as Freddy was out the door, Matthew strode over and took the seat next to mine. My heart rate revved up at the sight of him in his chambray button down and gray chinos. The phrase “he cleans up nicely” now made perfect sense to me, although, to my surprise, I found I liked him just as well in his work clothing. Give me Matthew Hart with a summer tan, half-day of beard growth, faded t-shirt, cowboy boots and dusty jeans, and that was my idea of heaven on earth.
“Are you doing alright?” he asked quietly.
How could I answer that question? I was seriously not alright, but it wasn’t in my nature to show weakness. Besides, I felt better with Matthew sitting next to me. He had a calming effect on my nervous system, even if he had suggested at breakfast that our relationship was now downgraded to friendship status.
“I’m as okay as I can be, under current circumstances.”
Matthew nodded and looked down at the table. When he lifted his head and met my gaze again, his eyes told me I hadn’t fooled him one bit.
“You don’t have to pretend with me, Lauren. I know why you came out to the ranch. Maybe I shouldn’t have done it, but I looked online and saw what happened to you in New York.”
“No, it’s totally fine you did.” Relief flooded through me. No more secrets from Matthew. That was a good thing. “I’m so sorry I couldn’t tell you everything sooner. I didn’t want to get you involved in my mess, and I was afraid that if people here found out who I really was, they’d sell photos to the media.”
“I hope you know I would never do that,” he said. “In fact, I think everyone here at the ranch would protect you. I can at least vouch for my staff.”
A lump formed in my throat, so I swallowed hard and nodded at him, trying to keep myself together. “Thank you.”
“You don’t have to talk about it any more if you don’t want to, but I’m here if you need me. Okay?” He put his hand over mine. “I’ve got your back.”
I still didn’t trust myself to speak because the tears were too close to the surface. It had been so long since a man, besides my brother, had offered me that kind of support. At a loss for words, I nodded and turned my hand over so I could interlace my fingers with his. Maybe I shouldn’t have done it, but friends could hold hands, right?
“I think I upset you this morning,” he said, giving my hand a gentle squeeze. “I wanted you to know that there’s no pressure from me. I’m happy to be your friend if that’s all you can offer right now. Of course, I liked the direction things were headed before your…”
“Soon to be ex-husband,” I supplied.
“Yeah, him,” he said grimly. “Before he got here. I understand if you need to dial it back, though.”
I knew Tori wouldn’t advise me to put all my cards on the table so early in a relationship, but for once in my life, I wasn’t going to play it safe.
“I don’t want to dial it back,” I said earnestly. “I want to enjoy every minute I have here with you. I’m hoping Freddy and I can settle things tonight so you and I can pick up where we left off. I totally understand if you want to steer clear of me, though. My situation is really messy, and?—”
“I’d love to pick up right where we left off,” he said. “I think we were mid-kiss.”
His blue eyes melted me into a puddle. “You make me feel like a teenager again, Matthew. I’ve got butterflies.” My smile faded as Freddy re-entered the dining room. “Shit. He’s back.”
Matthew slid his hand from mine. “Can I come by your room later tonight? Maybe we could go for a walk under the stars.”
“Yes.” Before I could say anything more, Freddy was taking his seat and Matthew was standing to leave.
“You might want to go check on your daughter,” Freddy told him. “I just saw her poking at a snake with a stick.”
“Don’t worry,” Matthew said calmly. “She knows the difference between a garter snake and a rattlesnake. She identified you correctly.”
I tried unsuccessfully not to laugh as he walked away. “C’mon, Freddy. You have to admit you walked into that one.”
“That man is incompetent and…and…”—he leaned closer to me, the fermented smell of wine on his breath—“I’m going to write a review of this place that lets everyone know how he runs his business, from the terrible WiFi to that geriatric horse I rode today. I can make sure everyone knows his ranch is a disgrace.”
Panic tore through me. Freddy had connections in the world, and he could actually hurt Matthew’s business if that’s where he put his energy.
“Stop it, Freddy.” I donned my ice queen mask. “You’re acting like a child.”
