Tori made a tsk tsk noise at me. “Dear sister, don’t think you can fool me for one second. Any time his name comes up, your voice changes. And I know what he looks like. I Googled his ranch and saw his photo.”
Dammit. She was good.
“Fine, he’s hot.”
“Uh huh.”
“And maybe I’m attracted to him, but that’s it. Nothing is happening or going to happen between the two of us.” Lies. All lies. Was I lying to her or myself though? That was the real question.
“Oh, sure, I believe you,” she said breezily. “But keep in mind, those are some famous last words you just uttered, right before the time people start getting naked.”
CHAPTER11
LAUREN
The day after riding Alma, I felt emboldened to hike alone on the trails around the ranch because maybe I was more cut out for ranch life than I’d given myself credit for. I could do this thing! Bottle of water in hand, I headed away from the cabins, trudging along the dirt paths that climbed to higher altitudes and, eventually, to a path through the aspen trees. I quickly realized two things. One, my Peloton classes were finally paying off because I was in the best shape of my adult life. Two, hiking in the west was a different experience.
In the forests of the northeast, I’d loved the sense of being tucked away in a world of fallen limbs, mossy rocks and running streams. There was usually a canopy of trees obscuring the views and offering shelter from the sun. At the ranch, the landscape was completely different. Yes, there were some groves of trees for shade, but mostly I hiked out in the open, along rugged trails of rocky soil and through open fields of grasses and sagebrush, enjoying views that went on for miles. All that openness could make one feel a little exposed and uneasy. I couldn’t hide from anyone, including myself.
Frequently, my thoughts turned to my impending divorce, and although I’d promised myself on the plane to Wyoming that I wouldn’t spend a lot of time ruminating on my past, I couldn’t help it. Few of the years Freddy and I spent together were happy ones. When I met Frederic Arnaud Tremblay at a Manhattan networking event for young entrepreneurs, I couldn’t believe this suave, pedigreed man would be interested in little old me in my Ann Taylor navy blue sheath dress and matching pumps. Not only was he gorgeous and cultured, he shared my dream of running his own company, which in his case was a wine import business.
Had we dated long enough, I would have realized that although he wore the appearance of wealth, his immediate family had piddled away what was left of their fortune by living extravagantly. More importantly, Freddy might have had plans to start a business, but he completely lacked the work ethic to execute them. Within six months of meeting, we married, I got pregnant, almost immediately got pregnant again, and soon I was the breadwinner for a family of four.
His infidelity probably started much sooner than I realized, but even when I knew for certain there were other women, I stayed with him. I wanted to spare our sons the pain of their parents splitting up and, selfishly, the thought of them spending half their time in a different house from me was unbearable. I only had them for eighteen years, and I wasn’t giving up a single day with them just because their father couldn’t keep his dick in his pants. Once the boys were in college, I finally asked for a legal separation. Should I have done that much sooner? Maybe. Would my life have been better or worse if I had? There was no way of knowing the answer to that question, although that didn’t stop me from asking it over and over again.
By the time I was back at my cabin, sweaty and shaky with exhaustion, I’d decided what to do. I called Tempest and told her to make a deal with Freddy’s lawyer. Give him anything he wanted except a piece of Ms. Match. If we made him a generous alimony offer, I was betting he’d give up his bid for part of the company. I didn’t care if I had to work until I was seventy to make payments, as long as the divorce got finalized and I kept our company firmly out of his reach. After Tempest and I hung up, I felt a deep sense of peace. My relationship with Freddy should have been severed years ago, and it was time to complete the paperwork so I could fully move on with my life.
* * *
“Have you met the cows yet?”Matthew asked me that night in the dining room. He usually stopped by my table during dessert, but that evening he’d invited me to join Gigi and him while we ate sticky, perfectly browned pineapple upside down cake.
“Not yet,” I said. “But I saw many signs of them today.”
He smiled mischievously. “Should have warned you to avoid the cow patties. How are the new hiking shoes holding up?”
“Surprisingly comfortable. I have a few blisters, but nothing bandaids can’t cure.”
“Tell her about the dance,” Gigi said, her mouth full of cake.
“I arranged a little end-of-the-week dance in the Round Room. Our neighbors, Merle and Jean Tucker, are expert two-steppers, and they love giving lessons. The party will be for guests and staff, and I think it will be a good time. I know the Shahs and the Jernigans want to come.” He nodded over at the two families in the dining room. “Hope you’ll be there too.”
“Are you two going to dance together?” Gigi asked.
I had no idea if she was asking because I was the only female guest with no other dance partner in sight or if she’d picked up on something between Matthew and me. Either way, I felt my cheeks warm.
“I’m sure we’ll all dance with different partners,” Matthew said. “That’s how it usually works at these things.” Finally, he met my gaze and held it. “But I’d appreciate it if Mrs. Wagonblast saved a dance for me.”
My breathing felt shallower than usual as I nodded. “I can do that.”
After dinner, the two of them went to the stables to check on Elijah, the barn cat, and say goodnight to Loki, Gigi’s favorite horse. I wanted to ask if I could go with them, but I knew that would be horning in on father-daughter time. Still, I felt no desire to go back to my empty cabin. The more time I spent with Matthew, the more I wanted; however, a call I’d received that afternoon from my publicist made it clearer than ever I couldn’t involve him in my drama.
Photographers hunted down Freddy in Paris while he was having dinner with a young woman. Although I knew her to be his cousin, the press who ran the photos made it out to be a romantic rendezvous. The same could happen to me if I wasn’t careful. Photographers were still skulking around outside the Ms. Match offices, and I knew they were harassing Tori, even though she’d never admit it. Even my sons had received calls, asking for statements about their parents’ marital woes. How could I involve Matthew and his daughter in that kind of mess?
No, it was better if I maintained a little distance from him, especially if we ever went off the ranch property together again. You never knew who would sell a photo for a few dollars. The disappointment I felt at not being able to pursue even a close friendship with Matthew was more motivation to get the divorce settled quickly. Once we officially signed everything, Freddy and I could leak news of our new status to the press, and I’d be truly single for the first time in decades. Now that I knew my sex drive hadn’t completely gone dormant, maybe someday I’d be ready to fall in love again, or at the very least go on dates, and I had Matthew to thank for that.
I nursed my coffee for as long as I could after Matthew and Gigi left the dining room, and then I walked through the staff door to the kitchen, startling a young woman who was working on washing dishes.
“Sorry, ma’am.” She wiped her wet hands on her apron. “We don’t get many guests back here.”
