I missed the body I had at thirty-five—pain-free joints and tight neck skin—but I didn’t long for the life I had back then. Who would miss late nights of knocking out a few more items on a to do list while gobbling down a wilted deli salad? No, thank you. I wanted more sunsets and someone wonderful by my side to enjoy them with me. It was amazing how many revelations you could have about your life and your future when you finally stood still for a few minutes and looked at the sky.
Instead of walking back to my cabin, I leaned back into the cozy cushions of the old metal glider. A little sign on the house announced it as Bluebell Cottage, which matched well with its cornflower blue shutters. What a perfect little place. As I swung gently back and forth, I let myself relax into the waning light of the evening. When was the last time I had nothing that needed to get done and nowhere to be? I closed my eyes and let myself rock and relax, even drifting off to the place right before sleep…
At the sound of someone’s boots on the dirt path that ran past the cottage, my eyes shot open and scanned the looming darkness. Approaching me was a tall person with a long stride. Probably a man. Definitely coming to the cottage. I stilled the glider, my city instincts telling me it was better to go undetected. I had that bear spray with me, just in case. My finger stayed poised on the trigger as he clomped up the porch steps in his work boots. That’s when I recognized his beautiful jawline and blue eyes.
“Matthew.”
He jumped backwards in surprise. “Shit!” He pressed a hand to his heart. “You scared me.”
“Sorry! I didn’t know it was you until you got close. I was going to douse you in bear spray if you were a rapist.”
Matthew laughed. “More likely to be a bear out here at night than a rapist.”
“Given the choice, I’d take the bear,” I muttered.
“What are you doing out here at the cottages?”
“I was walking and needed a place to sit down and think. Do you mind?”
“Course not.” He stood with his hands in his pockets, acting like he was shy about explaining his presence. “I keep my beer in the fridge here, and I was coming to get one. Care to join me?”
I wasn’t sure about the drink, but I definitely wanted his company. “Sure, I can try one.”
“Try one?” He unlocked the door with a key that hung on a jam-packed keychain. “You mean you’ve never had a beer?”
I had to smile at his look of disbelief. “Not since college, probably. I’m not even sure if I like it.”
“I mean, it’s no matcha…”
I pretended to be annoyed at him. “Very funny. I know you think I’m bougie.”
“Ma’am, I’m not even sure what bougie means.” He smiled and disappeared inside the cottage, reappearing a minute later with two bottles. Like a pro, he used the porch railing to pop off the caps before handing me one. I can’t say why that turned me on, but it did. “Now this isn’t microbrew beer,” he said. “It’s standard Budweiser.”
“I wouldn’t know the difference at this point.”
He gestured to the glider. “May I?”
“Please do.”
The glider bench was wide enough to accommodate both of us, and our legs weren’t anywhere near touching, but I still felt butterflies with Matthew sitting close to me. Feeling that kind of magnetic attraction to a man was a heady experience.
“Refreshing,” I said after taking a sip. “Why do you keep your beer out here? Is it so you have to burn off the calories on the way to retrieve it?”
“No.” He paused before answering. “I have to hide it from someone.”
“Your daughter?” I couldn’t imagine that was the case unless she was a tragically young alcoholic.
“One of my employees. He has a drinking problem. If I don’t lock up the alcohol, he falls off the wagon. Otherwise, he stays sober, and his job gets done.”
We drank our beer in silence for at least a full minute.
“Don’t you think that’s a lot of trouble to go to,” I said, “when he should be the one making the effort to stay sober?”
“True.” He stretched his long legs out in front of him. “I know it sounds ridiculous to treat him like a child, but he’s great at what he does, and I couldn’t replace him, not for the same money. He’s also had a rough go of it in life recently. I guess I want to help him find his way again.”
Matthew was a compassionate guy, even if he did have more to learn about co-dependence. “Your secret is safe with me.”
“It’s a system that works most of the time. I’m not much of a drinker myself, but we had the campfire cookout tonight, and after a long trail ride and a warm shower, a cold beer felt like the perfect way to end the evening.” He sighed and stretched his arm out along the back of the glider. “It’s been a long week.”
