"Chickens aside, this place is growing on you, right?" His dark eyes study my face.
Mutt is watching us from outside the chicken run, his pink tongue rolled out of his mouth like a carpet. He's happy now that Mommy and Daddy are using kind words. Poor dog. What is he going to do when he finds out Mommy is heading back to the big city? He'll have to find another crotch to bury his head inside.
"What do you mean?" I ask warily.
"Maybe now you can see how your dad might be happy here."
"He was happy in his old life, too," I say, but I lack the same fiery conviction I had in our previous arguments.
"Was he?" Seth asks. "Because he told me he was lonely before he met Renata. How did he describe it? Tidy apartment, neat little life, no surprises. She rocked his world, in a good way."
I'm gutted, thinking about Dad that way. Was he that unhappy? If so, I never suspected. Sure, I wondered if he got lonely for female companionship, but he always brushed off any queries about his love life, as if that ship had sailed long ago. He adored his job, exercised every day, played poker twice a month with his buddies. It was all very...dull. And I'd never seen it for what it was because I was too busy relying on him to be there for me, to listen to my issues, to give me advice and support.
Seth is looking at me expectantly. He's waiting for me to disagree with him and poke holes in his logic.
"That's probably true," I admit. "Sometimes people need their worlds rocked, I guess."
I don't know if he's thinking about our kiss in the barn, but I am. It was a world-rocking kiss.
Slowly, but surely, all the chickens head into the coop. Seth shuts the door, and I give a little cheer. He walks me back to the house for some unknown reason, and Mutt trots along between us.
"I'm sorry I didn't accept your offer to drive me home last night," I say when we're almost to the porch. "I was drunk, but that's no excuse for being an asshole to you."
Seth stops walking and looks down at the ground, digging at the mud with the toe of his boot. When he looks up at me again, I can tell we're going to get honest here, and my pulse quickens in response.
"It's probably better that you got a ride from someone else."
"Why?" I ask, afraid of what he's going to say.
"I wanted to kiss you, but you were too drunk. It wouldn't have been a good idea."
I bite my bottom lip and imagine that kiss we didn't have last night. He's right. Hooking up when I was that drunk would have been a disaster. We both would have been uncomfortable the next day, not knowing what it meant or why it happened. That's the last thing I need right now.
"You weren't worried about Rhett driving me home though? He's pretty cute, you know."
I'm leading him to think Rhett drove me home, but not saying so directly. It's not technically a lie. There's no way I'm offering up the information that I came home in a squad car.
"He's a good person," Seth says. "He wouldn't put the moves on a drunk girl."
I think about Dan and what it means to be a good person. Is Dan a garbage person for kissing me when I was drunk, and he was married?
"No, I don't think he would either, but no one is all good or bad," I say. "People make mistakes."
Seth looks at me closely. "There's a line though, right? Good people don't cross that line when the time comes."
I have a feeling we're talking about different situations from our own lives, not completely understanding each other. But if I went with Seth's definition, I'm a bad person for crossing the line with Dan. I know that isn't the whole truth though. I'm flawed, just like everyone else, but I can find redemption. I need to go home and set things right with Dan. He needs for me to tell him in person that that this thing between us isn't going anywhere. I'll encourage him to save his marriage.
"You look so serious. I think you missed the part where I said I'd like to kiss you again," Seth says.
"Is that what you said?" I start walking. "I wasn't sure I heard you right."
Seth gives me a lazy smile as he walks beside me. We're close enough that our hands bump up against each other, sending a zing down my back.
"Yeah, I still want to kiss you, even after seeing that ridiculous chicken dance."
We're at the porch steps now, and I take one step closer to him, trying not to smile like an idiot. Then I pull lightly at the bottom of his t-shirt as I lean in and say, "Good to know."
Even though my face is bare, my hair is flat, and I'm wearing pants with printed hearts all over them, he's looking at me like I'm beautiful. I have that feeling you get when you're flirting with someone who isn't only physically attracted to you, but genuinely likes you, too. I can't believe I'm having these feeling with Seth, but the chemistry we have is undeniable.
